One of the most common questions I get asked is ‘how did you get over him,’ and if I were being really honest, I’d say there’s no way to know. Not really.
Because in all earnestness, there is, in fact, no way to know.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
There’s no lightning flash, no sign from the overlords, no prediction or prophecy- nothing really. No defining moment when you know you have to get over him and you do!
Suggested read: You and I … in this beautiful world
The only thing I am sure of is that it happens.
It happens. Just like that.
Even if you’d thought you’d never get over him.
Even if you were convinced you’d never get over him.
Even if you’d shut yourself from the world.
And even if you were/are still in love with him.
It happens, just like that.
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
When you are sitting on your couch, curled up under a blanket, reading your favorite romance and your favorite lines don’t remind you of him.
When your colleague cracks the joke that belongs to his brand of humor and it doesn’t have you in splits- but makes you question its legitimacy as humor.
When your song comes on the radio but you feel naught. Zipped.
When a place that you frequented often fades into oblivion.
When something that belonged to him doesn’t belong in your cherished items stack anymore.
When you go to bed and do not have his face stuck to the back of your eyes.
When you wake up in the morning and do not feel the need to pull yourself out of a tear-stained bed.
It happens, just like that.
When everything you used to be no longer is and you feel okay about that.
You realize there’s a reason it ended- and it ended because the reasons outweighed everything you felt.
In time, you realize that you forget more of the person and less of the feelings.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
You miss the feelings associated with them but not them, anymore. That even if you did miss them on occasion, you could miss them without wanting them back.
You realize that you can keep the lessons but let the pain go.
That you could still believe in love, without having to love someone who didn’t choose love over all else.
Suggested read: I love you like…
You learn that it isn’t as hard to be happy, as they say it is. That you could choose yourself every day and feel happy about it. Extremely happy, actually.
You learn that being jaded, hard or closed is not the way to live. That life requires us to embrace it, each moment with every breath, with all the life in us.
You learn that just because you fell in love too hard, too true does not mean that you need to struggle or bear the pain or deal with heartache. You deserve better and you have to believe it. You have to repeat it to yourself, over and over again- so you can give up on everything that’s hurting you but never on yourself. So that you stand right back up and keep moving.
Because no matter whether you’d have picked him, again among all the guys in the world, he’d have done just the same. You’d still be standing right where you are.
He’d still fill your life with empty promises and meaningless apologies.
Still say he loves you and claims he thinks about you all the time and wants you in his life.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what he is doing about it. And what he is doing is nothing.
And nothing isn’t what anybody deserves.
So, even though it is hard, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you don’t care how hard it is, that you do not give a damn about how difficult it is, you aren’t going to let it get the best of you- and do it. Follow through and let the best of you get places.
Maybe in one of these places, you’d find just the one you deserve.
Someone who’d go out of your way to make it known that they want you.
Someone who will do everything they can to keep you there.
Someone who will make you the happiest you can ever be.
Because even though a favorite quote may be bookmarked for you to find it quicker, it sometimes doesn’t remain a favorite after all. Sometimes, you need to turn the page to realize there’s more to the book that you cared to read. So, close the chapter of hurt, toss away the bookmark and let the words create something more beautiful for you.
It will gain its meaning, if only you give it time.
Because like I said, it happens, just like that.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
