According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, all people on Earth can be divided into 16 distinct types of personalities. Even though each person is born with a different kind of personality which is unique, they have some common characteristic traits which qualify them to fall under one particular category or group. ESFJ personality traits fall under one of the four broad categories, namely Sentinels, and they are the fourth in this category. Today, we are going to be talking about the dominant traits of this particular personality type and how they perform in a relationship, and why they are some of the best people to fall in love with.
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There are some people who are inherently good at loving people, and some who don’t quite understand the concept of a loving, giving, and mutually exclusive relationship. Both types are right in their own attitudes. However, the kind of people who are natural lovers have their own set of advantages, which allows them to find love and live a healthy, happy life perhaps slightly more easily than those who would rather shy away from romantic relationships.
Suggested read: The Perfect Personality Types And Relationships Mapping You Didn’t Know You Needed
The ESFJ personality type, who are also referred to as the ‘Consul’ are part of the group who are natural lovers, and some of the most excellent people to fall in love with if you are looking for the perfect soul-mate kind of relationship in your life.
Here are some of the most dominant ESFJ personality traits, after which we are going to have a detailed discussion about what they bring to the relationship table.
About ESFJ Personalities
ESFJ personalities are active members of the society, constantly in the spotlight, doing things, organizing activities and being with and around people in general. They make up 12% of the population and what defines them is their zeal to take initiative in whatever they do in life. Apart from being social and enthusiastic, they are also very caring.
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They are the people everyone likes in school and in the workplace, and the kind of people who keep in touch with everyone, even without having to interact with them on a daily basis. They are fun, caring, uncomplicated people that everyone can trust and love and confide in, without fear or insecurity.
Consuls are super into helping other people, and finding ways in which they can save the day for someone. The other personalities in their group tend to be dreamers and believers in spirituality, mysticism and making their own way through life. Consuls however, prefer sticking to tradition and pre-established norms when making their way through life, and can often become blindsided when they have to change and adapt. However, their primary goal is to be of use in some way or the other, and do meaningful things, no matter at what cost.
They are rather particular about hierarchy, and often take up the role of the giver or the protector or the guardian when they are with people. This gives them a sense of power and authority, but not in the dominating sort of way. They are dependable, trustworthy and useful people, who can get things done faster and more effectively than others, which is why they are automatically bestowed with this role, whether they want it or not (although usually they do).
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They are also organized in the things they do, and hate conflict, dispute or disruptions of the normal scheme of things. Even though they are active and are very good at thinking on their feet, they have a little trouble being spontaneous, because often when things are spontaneous, they don’t go according to plan, and Consuls are very particular about planning and organization.
What they struggle with the most is their inability to take rejection or criticism. They are brimming with ideas and organizational initiatives, but sometimes, people may not want to engage with them or go for a different plan of action, without meaning any harm or insult to them in particular. This might cause some distress in Consuls. Apart from their sensitivity, which is the biggest characteristic challenge that they have to overcome, Consuls are some of the most dynamic and wonderful people to be with, simply because of their incredible talent at being a people’s person.
Suggested read: Do Your Myers Briggs Personality Traits Have A Say In Your Relationships?
ESFJ Personalities and Relationships
ESFJ personalities have very distinct characteristic traits, which makes their romantic relationships very clearly defined. Almost without fail, all the people who have this particular kind of personality type engage in a routine kind of relationship, with the same kind of ups and downs. Here is everything you need to know about how these people interact in relationships, and what one can expect when they are romantically involved with them.
1. Meeting people
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It is safe to say that for someone like a Consul, who thrives on social validation and is constantly looking for ways in which they can interact with more people, they are also constantly searching for relationships are well. They seek out people who they are attracted to without inhibition, and it isn’t difficult to strike up a conversation with them. They themselves are very attractive people, being the center of attention and in the spotlight wherever they go, which is why it is easy for them to meet new potential partners.
However, Consuls don’t engage in causal flings or non-serious relationships. From them, it is all about the long run, right from the start. They meet people with the intention of being involved with them seriously, and are careful about the selection process. Even though a lot of people might be romantically interested in them, they take time and carefully consider before choosing the right partner, with whom they can have mutually rewarding relationships.
2. Early stages of a relationship
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Right from the start, the most important thing for a Consul is to ensure that they share the same goals and motives as their partner. For them, the foundation of a strong and healthy relationship is being on the same page with your partner from Day 1. They tend to follow the traditional rules of dating, which are sometimes old-school and can lack excitement, but are cute and appealing in their own way.
They start working on their relationships from the very start, and it is hard to not fall in love with them right from the beginning because of the care and attention they dedicate to their partners. They are the perfect example of old school lovers, a quality which is becoming more and more sought after in recent times.
3. Long-term relationships
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Like I said before, the Consul gets into a relationship keeping in mind the distant future. Everything they do is a building block for a strong and supportive future. They are wonderful partners right from the start, and their dedication and love remains intact, no matter how many years they spend with one person.
When it comes to practical matters and being a mature adult, few people can beat the efficiency that a Consul can display. Whether it is handling work, family life, finances, savings, responsibilities, etc. they can do it with ease and efficiency. They are used to taking the lead in all things, and in relationships too, they tend to be the more dominating one, being the pillar of support for their partners. They are physically inclined and sensitive at the same time, which makes them amazing and consistent lovers.
4. Rough patches
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Even though a lot of people tend to depend on them, they tend to depend on their partners for constant validation. They feel hurt, rejected, betrayed and alone when their partner doesn’t accept their ideas, or suggests alternatives or doesn’t agree with them. They are also averse to criticism and advice, which can cause problems later on in their relationship.
Suggested read: How Do ESFP Personality Traits Influence A Relationship?
5. Compatibility
The two other types of personalities that they are most compatible with are:
-ISFP
-INFP
Both these personalities have the same way of looking at the world, and sharing the same ideals, values and outlook in life, which is something that is perhaps the most important thing for someone with an ESFJ personality type. However, because they are so used to be in the giving and protective role, they would vibe best with someone whose dominant characteristic is introverted, to create harmony and balance in their relationship.
All in all, people who have ESFJ personality traits are some of the most loving, kind, giving, and dependable people to fall in love with, and once they find the right match for them, there is nothing stopping them from giving their all to building a strong, stable and content future with their partners.
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