Text Back Quick: What Your Whatsapp Response Time Means To your Girlfriend

by Srija Banerjee · November 21, 2015

An unanswered text = panic attack. With our phones within an arm’s reach 99% of the time, we are quickly spiralling into a place where our need for our phones = our need for air. So this is what your reality probably is, if you are a girl texting your boyfriend and he is taking his own sweet time to reply:

1. Less than a second

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He is the sweetest and the most adorable one around. Also a little too free in life!

2. Within a minute

Well, he is a little preoccupied I am sure.

Suggested read: If boyfriends were truly honest on WhatsApp…

3. 15 minutes

I am sure he’s taking a shower or has left the phone in the room and gone to eat. But I have to remind him to not do this.

4. ½ an hour

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This is weird. He hasn’t replied back. I am sure there is an explanation. Maybe he lost his phone? Nope, he just liked a pic on Facebook. Wait..what..that b*tch ain’t even pretty! He better have a good reason!

5. One hour

I think he has started taking me for granted. I mean it’s been an hour. Sixty whole minutes. What kind of an irresponsible idiot doesn’t check his messages in an hour.

6. Two hours

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He has got to be kidding me. I am so not going to talk to him or reply to his messages now. And boy he’s going to have to pay for this.

7. Three hours

Maybe I should text him again..but what if that’s what he wants. Maybe he’s playing hard to get! Okay, I will show him!

8. Four hours

Is he mad at me? Did I say/do something that could have pissed him off? Should I call and find out? I am way better looking than that b*tch whose photo he liked!

9. Five hours

Maybe he’s taking a nap. Maybe I should take a nap too! I am getting all these dark circles from fretting about this jacka*s!

10. Six hours

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This a*s! I am sure it’s his way of seeking attention and leverage. He is so doing this on purpose to annoy me. I am going to show him and pretend that I didn’t even notice he was gone!

11. Seven hours

Maybe he’s jerking off. Yeah- that might be it. But then, he should be thinking of me- or is he thinking of that b*tch! F*ck him and f*ck that b*tch he goes about liking pictures of! I will call my bff..or maybe I should call him…nope- what if he’s on the phone. What if he’s on the phone with that b*tch- oh God!

12. Eight hours

Who does he think he is, making me go through this shit. Did I come on too strong or not strong enough? Am I too demanding? Is he sleeping with that woman? Why is he not replying! That insensitive brute! God, he’s been kidnapped!

13. Ten hours

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That’s it. He’s with his guy friends acting the cool guy who doesn’t care about replying to his girlfriend. Well, I have been too kind. I will show him what hell looks like today.

14. Twelve hours

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Enough is enough. It’s been 12 friggin’ hours and this moron hasn’t replied to my texts. I am sure he is writing up a new novel on the excuses you can give to your girlfriend when you do NOT reply!

15. Fifteen hours

Has he broken up with me and decided to disappear into thin air. Oh my God, I can be such a nag at times I am sure that’s why. What am I going to do?

16. Eighteen hours

Is he dead? Oh God please don’t let him be dead. Should I call the cops or his parents or maybe both!

17. Twenty hours

I know what he is doing. He is cheating on me. He is busy dry humping another woman while I wait for those ticks to turn blue. Jerk! I will gouge his eyes out.

18. Twenty two hours

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Is that what the time is! I am certain now that he is doing something wrong. I am going to forget he even exists. What could he possibly be doing? It’s been a day, well, almost!

19. 24 hours