Attraction has a universal language. It is quite natural for every human being to have an “appetite” or will for romance. Though, anyone can face unwanted issues related to sex. We often talk about sex addiction, but forget the other side of it. The lack of sexual appetite might seem like a phase, but it can hugely affect your life in the long run.
A while back, I realized that I was also suffering from sexual anorexia. It took me a lot of time to learn what is sexual anorexia and diagnose it with the help of an expert. To be honest, for a very long time I used to think that I don’t like people – that I’m demisexual or just not in touch with my sexuality. The good news is that I was able to understand the cause behind it and overcome my sexual anorexia pretty easily.
To start with, you need to educate yourself about this issue and take the needed measures to overcome it. In this article, I will cover all the necessary aspects of sexual anorexia derived from my personal experience.
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What is Sexual Anorexia?
Ideally, anorexia refers to a condition when an individual suffers from a loss of appetite. Therefore, in sexual anorexia people suffer from a lack of sexual appetite. This often leads to severe anxiety during sexual activities, a fear of rejection, and the overall avoidance of intimacy. Both, male and female adults can suffer from sexual anorexia and in different forms. Following are some common ways people show their avoidance of sex when suffering from this condition:
- Negative approach or judgment related to sexual activities
- Taking drastic measures just to avoid sex
- Fear of sex, intimacy, pleasure, or romance
- Not being familiar with one’s own sexuality (and avoiding it)
- Feeling ashamed of one’s desire to have sex
People who suffer from sexual anorexia can show different symptoms. Though, it all leads to the avoidance of sex in one way or another. Sometimes, individuals can take desperate measures just to avoid intimacy. The avoidance can become one of the most evident parts of their lives.
Causes of Sexual Anorexia
As I visited an expert and got to know more about sexual anorexia, I realized that the issue can be caused by numerous factors. Most of the times, the triggers are quite personal and people often try to neglect them. In order to overcome the issue, I would suggest that you should identify the causes related to it.
- One of the major causes of sexual anorexia is one’s upbringing and the kind of religion or culture they are associated with. If from childhood you are being told that sex is a filthy or bad thing, then you might end up believing the same your whole life.
- A lot of people suffering from sexual anorexia don’t feel comfortable with their body or have low self-esteem issues.
- A past rejection, depression, or sexual abuse can directly lead to the avoidance of sex.
- Sometimes, physical triggers like hormonal imbalance, stress, medication, exhaustion, etc. can also cause sexual anorexia.
- Not being in sync with one’s sexuality, communication issues with their partner, or any other personal problem can also trigger it.
- According to a survey, it has been found that addiction to pornography can make people uninterested in real-life sexual activities.
Common Risk Factors related to Sexual Anorexia
Sexual anorexia has been drastically increased in the last few years. The rise in stress, depression, body shaming, and other related issues are considered as its leading factors. If you are suffering from sexual anorexia, then it can certainly have long-term effects in your life. Following are the major risks related to it.
- It can affect your present state of mind. You are more likely to feel depressed since sex works as a natural mood enhancer.
- Your sexual organs might lose their strength.
- It can make it harder for you to have kids naturally.
- A low sex drive can even tamper with your personal life and the relationship with your partner.
- Lack of sex can also affect our immune system and make us prone to various ailments.
- It can also weaken our bladder and cause the lack of strength in our pelvic muscles.
- A long-term sexual anorexia can even lead to insomnia and night anxiety.
- One of the major reasons for prostate cancer is not having enough sex. Therefore, sexual anorexia can even lead to prostate cancer in men.
- Sex can work as a natural stress-buster. The lack of it can make you feel anxious and frustrated.
- It can largely affect your relationships. If you are single, then it might make it harder for you to find a suitable match.
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How to Overcome Sexual Anorexia?
While sexual anorexia can seem like a major problem, it can easily be treated by following the right course of action. Ideally, all of us have a natural sex drive and we simply need to make an effort in order to sync it. Here are some things that helped me overcome sexual anorexia.
- Educate yourself
You won’t be able to overcome this issue without understanding it first. Read as much as you can about sexual anorexia and get to know the experience of others. Also, sometimes people need to educate themselves about sex. If you grew up in a culture where sex was considered a taboo, then you might naturally find it disgusting. I would recommend learning the dynamics of sex and accepting it as natural human behavior. It is only after when you normalize sexual behavior, you would be able to accept it.
- Identify the cause
After learning the major causes of sexual anorexia, you would be able to identify your triggers as well. A lot of people try to avoid or suppress their emotions. I understand, it can be tough to confront an issue, but you got to do it sooner or later. Get to know if it is a mental or a physical trigger that is causing sexual anorexia. Though, sometimes it can be both.
- Consider therapy
Sexual anorexia is a complex psychological issue that can’t be resolved just like that. If you think you are suffering from it, then you should consider visiting an expert. A therapist or a counselor would be able to diagnose it and come up with an ideal course of action. Once you talk to a counselor regarding this, you would be able to work on its root cause or any other psychological issue that could have caused it.
- Get a medical treatment
Sometimes, a physical issue can also cause sexual anorexia. For instance, if you have just gone through a trauma, a life-changing event, childbirth, illness, etc. then it can lead to sexual anorexia. It can also be caused by a hormonal imbalance in your body or even the side effect of any other medicine. In order to fix this, you should visit an experienced doctor and get a personal assistance.
- Communicate
A lot of people feel an aversion towards sex when they face communication issues in their relationship. I would recommend having an honest discussion with your partner regarding the present situation. If you are suffering from sexual anorexia, then your partner should certainly know about it. Not only will it help you sustain your relationship, but they might help you overcome it as well.
- Change your lifestyle
Our lifestyle choices can largely affect the way we perceive sex. If you follow a sedentary lifestyle, then you are more likely to suffer from sexual anorexia. Try to maintain an active lifestyle and eat healthy food. Exercise more often and always stay hydrated. Try not to consume a lot of chemical products that can cause hormonal imbalance in your body. Most importantly, if you smoke, then consider quitting it as it can directly affect your sex drive.
- Know your preferences
This might sound surprising, but a lot of people hide their sexual preferences due to numerous reasons. If you are attracted to a certain gender and are trying to “fake it” instead, then you might suffer from sexual anorexia. Try to be honest with yourself. So what if you like people of a certain gender or sexual orientation. It doesn’t make you lesser than anyone else. It just makes you human.
- Try new things
We all are victims of following a routine and too many times, it can take a toll on us. If you keep repeating the same things in bed, then they might turn monotonous and they end up losing their charm. Try to spice things up and do new things. Obviously, you should talk to your partner about it and take their consent beforehand. It might seem like a crazy idea, but it would be worth trying.
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I’m sure that after reading this post you would be able to understand what is sexual anorexia, its major causes, and how one can overcome this problem. If you think you are also suffering from sexual anorexia, then don’t take the issue lightly. It can be prolonged for years and can become an evident problem in your life. Consult an expert and get dedicated help in order to treat the issue. Everyone deserves to have a satisfying sex drive and by overcoming this problem, you would certainly be able to attain a healthier relationship.
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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