Have you heard of Linda Wolfe? At a grand total of 23 marriages, she holds the record of being married the most number of times. She can barely list her husbands’ names and in case you want it in order of the weddings, hello! Are you joking?! Married to plumbers, barmen, preachers, and also to the same men over and over again – I wonder what Linda was looking for. Though she admits that while some were jerks, some were very nice men, but all of them lacked what it takes to be a good husband! This got me thinking, and to rescue you, I have listed a few qualities of a good husband.
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If you are too egoistic to listen to a woman who is trying to tell you how to be a good husband, you’ve already lost the battle. This is going to be your life story ‘til death do you part’ and save you from her instructions about what to do! Follow these 25 commandments if you want to wear the ‘sash’ of a good husband ever-so-proudly!
1. Lady-Killer/Killed?
If you are one of those philanderers who has just made another blunder and have come to this website looking for tips to win her back (only to lose her again of course!), get out immediately, before I find you and rip your ears off! A trustless marriage is dead anyway and I am no conjurer!
2. RoMANtic
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It is absolutely baffling to me how ‘romeo’antic boyfriends turn into lazy and jaded husbands. So you get used to us, huh? Well, remember Linda?! Get back to business: flowers, chocolates, jewelry, spa treats – all of these keep the romance alive (you’ve done them before!). Won’t you pamper your baby a little?
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3. TalkMAN
How you treat people below you in social status is a turn on or turn off (if you are a jerk!) for your woman. Your chivalry shouldn’t just be limited to your lady, but to all those around you, regardless of the relationship you share with them!
4. “My Darling, You Look Wonderful Tonight!”
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No one, woman or man, can ever get bored of compliments, but yes, they need to be genuine.
: “I love how you call me ‘Darling’ even after 35 years of marriage,” she giggled.
: He smiled back trying to remember her name!
Well, at least the old man is sweet!
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5. Tell Tales
“Movies bored her.
Books bored him.
So, she read books
And he watched movies,
And they had tales to tell each other
Through the night.”
A good husband is not one who is a twin to his wife! They have differences but they know how to weave those dissimilarities into a beautiful tale!
6. “As Long As You Love Me!”
She will be in love ever after only if you allow her to don her mad self every now and then, and not be an idiot who wants her to transform into a pumpkin! You love her for certain reasons and chose to marry her. So it doesn’t make any darn sense to ask her to change her personality to fit your mood swings! Acceptance is definitely among the qualities of a good husband!
7. MANaging the plot!
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The most important of the qualities of a good husband is to be prepared to do sh*t you never wanted to do! Good management skills are a prerequisite even in matrimony! Juggling the home, work, the children, the parents, and the in-laws should not be the sole responsibility of the wife. See, you are equals and “you are better at dealing with things than I,” said no wife ever. So, buddy you have some serious competition!
8. “Yesterday, once more!”
Always remember your wife’s birthdays, but never her age! This is where you wish that there were no properly demarcated 365 days on the calendar and that your wife’s memory would not be like that of an elephant! Dates, first meeting, first kiss, first proposal, (first?) wedding, and the first fight are to be memorized as though they are some golden rules. Keep in mind – a wife will only forgive you when she is wrong! 😉 A happy wife is the only secret to a happy life for the husband.
9. “Love Me Like You Do”
“You see me at my absolute worst and you love me anyway.”
A good husband must not just hug his wife when she cries, but make an effort to know what has happened. You are the only one she exposes her vulnerability to, better make proper use of the trust she has vested in you. “Twenty years from now when they ask you about her, I’m sure you don’t want your answer to be ‘haven’t been in touch with her.’ You want it to be ‘she is waiting for me at home’.”
10. A patient of patience
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“Before you marry the man of your dreams, see how he reacts while working on a computer with a slow connection,” said Will Ferrell. It will reveal a lot about him! A good husband is patient and is an anchor to the whole family. He knows that great things don’t happen in a day and is wise enough to persevere the hardships hand-in-hand with you because he knows that happiness is just around the corner!
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11. Soul mates, quite literally!
Tapping into your spiritual side once in a while is also a quality that is taken for granted most of the time. Men interested in exploring the mysterious can be quite sexy. Women are spiritual beings and your curiosity and openness will make it easier for her to bond with you for life!
12. “That’s how strong my love is!”
“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies. It’s compromise.”
Now, this applies to the man too. She may move in with you and be willing to adopt your surname, but there are certain subtle compromises to be made at your end too that will prevent the boat from rocking. Boys’ night outs have an age limit, dude, and spending the whole Saturday night drinking only to sleep off the Sunday is no longer fun. The definition of fun and frolic changes as we enter different phases of our lives.
13. Baby and the babies!
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You have to adore the kids, and not just your own. The wives (even girlfriends in certain cases) are quite fussy when it comes to the rapport you share with children. This is because some weird website has put it into their heads that a good father is a good husband! 😉
14. “Everything I Do, I Do It For You!”
If you are one of those husbands who takes the trash out at night and acts as if they are the ones who cleaned the whole house, your idiocy has no bounds! You have to learn to be not just appreciative of her efforts but add to them every so often. “These chores are mine too. Don’t I live in the same house?” said no husband, they tell me. But, a good husband doesn’t only say it, he lives by it!
15. Mountain High, River Deep (Expectations)?
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Keep your expectations and attitude in check, Mister. She doesn’t wake up every morning to impress you alone. She is an individual first with her own needs and wants, but despite that (owing to the patriarchal rubbish!) she does her best to satisfy you and give you a comfortable life. And don’t expect every night to be a noisy sex cruise!
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16.“I Only Have ‘Ears’ For You!”
Biologically, they say that men aren’t the best listeners, concentrating more on sorting out a problem and getting done with it, rather than analyzing where things went wrong in the first place. Well, it’s great when the plumber arrives at your beck and call to help you, but if he doesn’t pay much attention to what you have to say, I bet the situation in the bathroom is only going to get worse! Just a parallel to help you listen more and understand better! 😉
17. Back to the future!
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An ambitious man (within limits though!) who is career-driven and has already planned a future with his wife for themselves and their children is definitely a good husband. He is a provider, focused on his life goals, and also a constant motivator to his wife’s career and work life. If you are the belittling type, remember how Batman and Cat Woman worked hand-in-hand to save Gotham! She will only double your powers.
18. (Over)Protective?
There is a thin line between a protective and a possessive husband. While the former shields you from troubles, the latter becomes a trouble himself! You definitely know what makes a good husband?
Men usually cannot differentiate between the two and end up crossing the line in a genuine attempt to be a great husband. You have to make sure that she is comfortable with your arms around her and is not feeling claustrophobic and strangled!
19. Daddy (not so) cool!
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Disrespect the Daddy and you are in for great misfortune, my friend! If you haven’t watched the Focker series, I advise you do so immediately and pray to the heavens that, “Di Nero no be my pops-in-law!” The way you treat your parents is also a reflection of how you were brought up and how you deal with people closest to you. Remember she is starting a family with you. She has to be absolutely certain that you are not some lunatic or worse, a lust murderer!
20. Penetrating? Emotionally, I mean! 😉
You need not sob over every romcom you watch with your wife (doesn’t harm if you are the emotional kind!), but sensitivity is a vital quality! If you have a chip on your shoulder all the time and never let your guard down, the love will die soon enough! Knowing to balance sentimentality and toughness is the most difficult of the qualities of a good husband.
21. Pursuit of a happily married life!
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Twists, twirls, and bumps – that’s what marriage is all about, with change being the only constant! If life throws lemons at you, make her a tequila shot. A woman wants her husband to adapt and evolve as life goes on. If you know how to adjust and grow accordingly, she will be more than willing to do the same. Getting the dice rolling should not be much of a worry then!
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22. Smug/Swag?
Cocky or confident?
“I couldn’t call you back because I was too busy being fabulous!” Really? If you are one of these, she is sure to dump you and the reason for the divorce would be: a UFO dropped Mr. Stupid and I’m sure they ain’t coming back for him!” Arrogance is definitely not among the characteristics of a good husband!
23. ‘Seasonings’ In the Sun!
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A husband who keeps things interesting, that’s the cherry on top! Keep her guessing about the next surprise (not shock, please!) that can pop up from anywhere. Send her a card even if it is not your anniversary. Always keep a track of what she’s had her eye on and amaze her with that!
24. Humor, no rumor!
Wit is seducing and you can always “lace” it around a little! Needless to say, the sex that follows is effing awesome! A humorous husband is not a magician of course who can promise her only joy in life. But he for sure can help her laugh at the problems, get her heavy heart some air, and then think about solving it, maybe tomorrow though! 😉
25. “…To Love Her Till You Both Shall Live? I Do!”
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Go through your vows before you begin each year with her. You will find all your answers in what you wrote (or googled!) and the promises you made. Also, watch Channing Tatum in The Vow; now that is the BEST husband ever!
“I know you are jealous because I have the greatest husband that loves me like crazy. He didn’t fall in my lap and he wasn’t always perfect. I had standards!” Yes, she’ll take credit for that too. But why shouldn’t she? 😉
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So you walked the aisle and took those vows, now is the time to walk that talk! Confused? And you thought playing a good husband was easy (and I am not talking about that stupid online game!). No woman wants to be married just for the heck of it. It only gets lonelier if you have to spend your life with a man who you can’t converse with, or worse, someone you can’t enjoy the silences with. I bet you are not one of these men, because if you were you would not have come to this website looking for tips and trying to adopt the qualities of a good husband.
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