A relationship is one of the most important sources of security in a person’s life. However, for many young people and even some adults, it is easy to get carried away by the idea of being someone’s one and only, even if the reality gets ugly. Abuse, dependence, control, passivity, and so on are just some red flags that may signal that your relationship may not be meant to be. No matter how committed you are to your relationship, it is important to wake up and smell the coffee to figure out whether your relationship is doomed, or whether it can be salvaged.
When you are in a healthy and happy relationship, you naturally try to be a better version of yourself. You include your better half in all your plans and decisions, and both of you establish a mutual cohabitation and pattern, which makes your life infinitely better. However, when you start to notice the bad days becoming more frequent, and an evident lapse of control on both sides, then it is time for you to turn around and walk away. Here are some of the most common warning signs to indicate that you are in the wrong relationship.
Suggested read: Telltale signs of an unhealthy relationship
1. Your partner doesn’t respect you as a person
Image source: Shutterstock
The reason why people get into relationships in the first place is because they like and appreciate each other as people. But after some time into your relationship, if your partner is constantly taunting you, or being condescending of things that are uniquely you, something may be off with the basic premise of being together. In a healthy relationship, it is important to understand each other’s ambitions, dreams, ideas, and the like. If your partner is constantly side-stepping your plans, and dismissing what makes you as a person, then the relationship is doomed to become nasty and unbearable in no time.
2. They can’t let go of the past
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Does your partner bring up all your past mistakes and faults every time you have an argument? If so, something is seriously wrong. When a person has carefully catalogued all your past incidents in their mind with so much care, they are either dissatisfied with life themselves, or they are very envious of yours. You don’t need an unhealthy relationship channeling this kind of negative energy in your life. Constantly being anchored to the past, whether it is regarding to your faults or your behavior, may prevent you from growing as a person, and your partner should not be manipulating you in that manner.
3. They are constantly dishonest about the smallest things
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
This is one of the key red flags that you have to keep an eye out for. If your partner lies about their whereabouts, or about their achievements, or even petty things, then you have good reason to be on your guard. They might be lying to you to not take blame for something that they did, or even to come across as a person that they are not. Either way, if you sense that they are dishonest about the smallest of things, it is time you bid adieu to them.
4. They make all the big decisions about the future without consulting you
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Have you noticed that you do everything according to your partner’s convenience? Are they making all the decisions about the future, whether it is moving to a new city or a new job or even picking out an apartment, without even asking for your opinion? Be careful, because this is a sign that they don’t consider your opinion worth their time. These domineering habits tend to multiply and become worse with time, until your relationship is so heavily imbalanced there is no way of tilting it back.
Suggested read: Sure signs you are in a healthy relationship
5. It is becoming increasingly difficult to trust them
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Trust is perhaps more important than love in a relationship, because it is impossible to not love a person whom you trust. One thing that is grossly underestimated in relationships is the power of your natural instinct. If you find it difficult to believe that your partner is telling the truth, from major life decisions to the small everyday details, there is an inherent lack of trust in the relationship; and without trust, it is not possible to be happy and content with each other.
6. Your partner underestimates your abilities
Image source: Shutterstock
There is no greater source of discouragement than from the people you hold close to your heart. When you are out on your journey to achieve your goals and ambitions, they should hold your hand and do their best to help you achieve them. Instead, in the scenario of an unhealthy relationship, they belittle you and your plans and make it clear they are not confident in your ability to win in life. It is not possible to be in a happy, long-term relationship with someone who is constantly trying to bring you down.
7. They try to change the person that you are
Image source: Shutterstock
You must not change yourself for anybody – not your parents, not your friends, and certainly not your partner in your relationship. When your partner tries to change who you are according to their ideals and preferences, then that is a sign of a wrong relationship. If they are not able to accept and love your individuality, your little quirks, and your characteristics as a person, then it is time to let go.
8. Your family and friends are wary about your relationship
There is no better judge of your life, your emotions, and certainly your relationships than your family and your closest friends. They have known you for most of your life, and they love you for who you are. Therefore, if you find yourself constantly defending your partner in front of your close ones, try to reassess your relationship and see whether there is something about your partner that is putting them off. They will give you the most honest and dependable advice on relationships, which you would do well to consider even if you are completely infatuated with your partner. It might open your eyes to their shortcomings and save you from heartbreak in the long run.
9. You feel suffocated and reminisce about being single
Image source: Shutterstock
Two individuals, when they are perfect for each other and completely in love, will feel content and secure in their relationship. You should be glad that you are not alone any more, and you have someone you can love and depend on in your life. When you are in a wrong relationship, however, you might find yourself thinking constantly about the days when you used to be “free.” You find any excuse to not be near or meet your partner, and the relationship leaves you suffocated, exhausted, and empty. A relationship should be easy and effortless and relaxing, not a constant source of worry and trepidation that sucks the life out of you.
10. You feel like you are not “good enough”
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Being in a relationship means consciously spending time with a partner and accepting them for who they are, despite their minor flaws and behavioral oddities. However, in the case of a wrong relationship, you feel like you are never good enough for your supposed significant other – either because they actively try to make you feel that way, or due to subtler signals. Whatever the reason, feeling inadequate or unwanted in a healthy relationship is out of the question. If your partner has made you feel like you are not good enough for them, then it is best that you spare them of the “burden” that is you, and move on with your life.
Suggested read: Why letting go of a relationship isn’t as simple as it seems
If you are in a relationship because you are afraid of being single, or not having someone to send cute texts to, then think again. Being single and happy at the same time is much better than being in an abusive relationship, which will leave you broken and unhappy, and ultimately lead to a jeopardized future. You might be the source of envy for your single friends, but in the end you have to bear the brunt of the emotional and sometimes physical turmoil when you are in an unhealthy relationship.
There are a number of warning signs that you have to look out for if you are confused about whether you should be in an exclusive relationship with a specific person. Do keep this mental checklist in mind before you decide to be 100% committed to building a satisfying, rewarding, and loving relationship with each other.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
