You’ve probably seen (or been) honeymooners while on vacation; they sit there canoodling and talking into each others ears, absolutely oblivious of the rest of the world. And most noticeably, they can’t keep their hands off each other! If you were to tell them then that they have to consider the possibility of a sexual drought later, they’d probably look at you as if you were mad and go back to their sweet nothings.
But we understand that you’re not mad. Having a dry spell regarding physical intimacy is extremely common in long term relationships, and this seems to be one of the curses of modern life. And it is rightly considered a problem, although a common one. Regular sex is necessary for a person’s overall well-being and is essential to keep the relationship healthy. Here are the main reasons for such a drought in today’s day and age:
- Lack of time
- Poor body image
- Hormonal imbalances
- Technology (yes, we’re looking at you, smart phone!)
- Babies
- Unresolved issues
But this doesn’t have to become a permanent problem, for here we have 6 simple tips to help you overcome the sexual dry spell you find yourself in:
1. Assess your health
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First of all, take a good look at your lifestyle. Chances are that you are not eating right, sleeping well or exercising enough. Adding stress into the mix, it ends up a surefire sex drive-killer. Getting enough sleep in itself will change things dramatically. If things still appear off, visit a doctor for a basic checkup.
2. Clear out the bedroom
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Nowadays, we’re practically online everywhere. We can sync our accounts on our mobile, laptop, desktop, and tablet. We can be online from the car, the office, the kitchen, and even the toilet! All this multitasking and over-connectivity can stress you out, so keep it all out of the bedroom. Use an old-fashioned alarm clock to wake up in the morning, and push the TV out as well. Make sure there are only relaxing and positive items in your bedroom.
3. Stimulate all five senses
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Sensuality refers to stimulating the senses, so maybe yours need an extra lift. Try aromatherapy, with essential oils in your bath water or listen to some soft music while meditating. Walk barefoot on the grass, enjoy chocolate slowly, and apply fragrant lotion on your skin. All these, when done unhurriedly, can awake your dormant senses and make you feel alive.
4. Make the time
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Just like everybody else on the planet, you’ve got 24 hours in a day, and you’re going to have to make the best of it. Now’s a good time for some time management lessons and learning to organize your life. This also helps lower stress levels in your body, making you more relaxed and receptive to sex. This is especially important if you have a job and/or children.
5. Schedule a date
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Sometimes, even after all the time management in the world, you can find yourself overwhelmed and tired. That’s your cue to get away from it all, with your partner. Try for a weekend getaway, but if that’s not possible, at least one night to yourselves. Arrange for a family member or a friend to babysit your kids and take the time out to relax and rejuvenate. It’ll help improve your productivity in all spheres of life.
6. Love yourself
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None of these tips are going to work if you don’t love yourself. Believe in your strengths and love yourself for who you are. Take baby steps towards it – workout, wear nice clothes and make up, be well-groomed and try to think positively all the time. You’ll begin to start glowing from the inside, and you’ll get a newfound confidence to tackle all the dry spells in the future!
If nothing seems to work, there are probably some unresolved issues between the two of you, which you might not even be aware of. In that case, you’ll have to think hard and address the problem in the open, so that it gets resolved and you can get along with your life. Or you could always seek the help of a professional psychologist to help you overcome your unresolved issues. As Robert Sternberg says, “Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still.”
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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