I can’t name a single soul who is incapable of meting out relationship advice. Of course, the efficacy of the advice on love and relationships doled out by these self-proclaimed experts on the subject is subjective, but hey, whose isn’t?
There is no dearth of experts on the Internet who claim 100% result-oriented, failsafe methods of saving your crumbling marriage or getting back your ex or even making your affair with a married man survive the vagaries of time! But if human emotions were that easy to decode, wouldn’t we all be one happy bunch of people, solving any relationship problem with the help of differential equations, maybe? 😛
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The problem with such relationship advice is it fails to understand that advice about love and relationships isn’t something that can be definitive, all-encompassing or even fail proof. There is no ‘one size fits all’ relationship advice in the world. And it is necessary that one accepts that what works for one may not work for another. No two people in the world have the exact same relationship problem. So when someone you are venting to begins to start off with a ‘when I was dating … and this happened,’ cut them off. Spare yourself the misguidance. Even when there exists a similarity between your situation and the one your friend had been in, there is no way on earth your own set of circumstances, relationship dynamic, coping patterns, behavioral patterns, and stage of the relationship shall be a duplicate.
Suggested read: 25 invaluable nuggets of relationship advice from a father to a daughter
Every relationship is unique in its own way and needs to brave its storms in its own manner.
Having said that, there are a few nuggets of relationship advice that have stood the test of time and shall do well to adorn your own jumbo binder on timeless truths about relationships. What’s more – these leapt right off the webpage, while I was scouring Reddit. Surprised, huh? So was I. Seems like the place does have some eternal gems beneath the massive muck-and-moss-tainted stones and boulders. So, without further ado, behold the best of Reddit relationship advice:
1. Don’t stay with someone who antagonizes you or belittles you.
Coz nobody, I repeat, nobody has the right to make you feel bad about YOU.
2. If you feel lonely, you’re better off being alone.
Love can only grow from a self-sufficient place. Do not expect it to fill your life’s lacunae.
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3. Know when to walk away.
Coz when staying makes you miserable, there is no reason to.
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4. You can gauge a person’s love for you by how they treat you when they are upset with you.
Coz the equation YOU > all feelings of anger, hurt or disappointment SHOULD always apply!
5. Love is a verb, not a noun.
Do it. Live it. Love it.
Suggested read: Ways guys say ‘I love you’ without really saying it
6. When a light bulb goes out, you fix the light bulb. You don’t get a new house.
Light up your relationship when darkness threatens to plague it forever. Resolving your relationship problems is a choice you must make, every day.
7. Don’t settle for someone who has zero regard for your feelings or wants just because you’ve been together a long time.
Being ‘taken for granted’ kills a relationship.
8. Just because you love each other does not mean that you’re good together long-term.
Coz love is never enough. NEVER. Companionship of a lifetime needs so much more to grow.
9. No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem.
CHOOSE to work at it every day.
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10. Always fight the problem, not the other person. If you keep this in mind when arguing, you’ll be able to actually resolve the issue than be mad at each other.
Isn’t that the one thing we all know, but always forget to apply?
11. Don’t look for a girl you want to treat like a princess, look for a girl you want to treat like a partner.
Coz LOVE takes two partners who work together to build their LOVE-ly citadel!
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12. Don’t disparage your special one behind their back.
NEVER.
13. Confidence isn’t “I know she likes me”, confidence is “I’ll be okay whether she likes me or not.”
You don’t need someone else to validate your feelings! Feelings just ARE.
14. There are a number of people you can be compatible with. No one is perfect. You have to work at love.
Coz you don’t find a soul mate, you grow one!
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15. You’re not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
You need to protect yourself first to be able to save someone else.
16. Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant.
You know what that means, don’t you?
17. The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.
Coz you cannot expect your love to blossom into a beautiful fragrant garden without shoveling manure, sowing the seeds and watering them for growth! LOVE takes EFFORT, always!
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18. Stop trying to find the right person and start trying to BE the right person.
The RIGHT attracts the RIGHT! It’s true!
19. The person who cares least in the relationship has the most control.
Been there. Done that.
20. True love accepts you for YOU.
Love, in its truest form, accepts you with all your quirks, flaws and shortcomings. Coz, it LOVES you.
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21. It’s better to be happy than to be right.
Hard-earned and hard-learnt lesson. Treasure this one!
22. Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight.
It doesn’t make you any ‘lesser’ version of YOU- only better!
23. You can’t expect someone to love you when you can’t love yourself.
Only when you love yourself completely can you love another!
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24. Just because you liked the friend-version of someone doesn’t mean you’ll like the relationship-version of them.
The two aren’t the same. Believe me!
25. Before you move in with your partner, go on a road trip with them.
Journeying together is a good way of knowing if journeying together for a lifetime will be worthwhile.
26. Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability can bring you closer together and strengthen the two of you.
You cannot expect someone to reach inside of you and touch your soul when you have locked the gates and thrown the key away!
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
27. When you and your special one are arguing, remember—it’s you and them VS the problem. Not you VS them.
Coz you are ONE team! Don’t shoot each other!
28. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
Everyone has their own language of love. Don’t expect them to speak in yours’- just make sure you understand each others’.
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29. Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential.
Coz THAT will HURT! So bad!
30. It takes two happy individuals to make a happy relationship.
You cannot make someone happy if you aren’t happy yourself!
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31. If the world didn’t give each other second chances, we would all be single.
We all make mistakes. Loosen up.
32. Everyone is searching for the perfect person, but no one is trying to be the perfect person.
Be the change you want to see, eh?
33. If you love the memories more than the relationship, it’s time to move on.
Your past is no reason to be present in the present that offers li’l hope for the future.
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34. Just because a person is right or perfect for you, you may not be the right one for them.
It is a two-way street. And you aren’t driving alone!
35. If it’s broken, fix it. If you’ve lost count of how many times it’s broken, or the cost of repair far outweighs the initial outlay, throw it away and move on.
There’s only so much you can do to make it work. If it doesn’t, despite all you put in, it isn’t meant to be.
Suggested read: Signs you are a rebellious modern woman
36. Out of all the things needed for a successful relationship, love barely makes the top 5. Honesty, loyalty, trust, understanding and communication all have to be there.
Couldn’t have been any more blunt!
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37. Always hold hands when talking about the hard stuff. It helps to keep the negative emotions in check & shows you care.
Try and see for yourself!
38. Be the man or woman you would want your future or current child dating.
Coz that’s the best way to know if you are giving it your ‘best.’
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
39. Love is about appreciation, not possession.
We humans have a tendency to disregard things we own. Enough said!
40. Don’t go to bed angry. Everything will be there and worse in the morning.
<over thinking mode-panic mode-crazed insecurity mode-anger flared mode> ALARM!
41. Always seduce your lover, even if you are in a committed relationship. Otherwise, another person will.
Passion isn’t overrated. It is an integral element of relationships.
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42. If she threatens to leave, help her pack her bags.
Love isn’t a trade-off.
43. Keep no secrets, tell no lies.
Didn’t they teach ‘honesty is the best policy’ in school? Applies here. Actually, everywhere.
44. Sometimes you gotta wise up and let go. Yes, it hurts. But it’ll hurt more in the future.
If it is hurting and you can’t ease the pain. Let go.
45. Relationships aren’t hard. If it is hard, you are probably with the wrong person.
The ‘efforts’ needed to build, grow and sustain a loving relationship come effortlessly with the RIGHT person.
46. Love is not a feeling. Feelings fade, change, respond to situations and events. Love is a choice.
Choose your partner, every day. And if you cannot, let them go- and find someone who will. You find the soul you can choose every moment too!
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47. If it feels wrong at the beginning, it probably won’t get better.
Our hearts know it best!
48. If you’re keeping score you already lost.
It isn’t a game! Or war!
Suggested read: 10 things to do at the start of a relationship
49. Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s learned and developed skill, not an experience. Not that the romantic feeling doesn’t exist or isn’t a wonderful part of the relationship, but it doesn’t make it last.
Coz romance isn’t about a walkway strewn with rose petals, shiny bobbles, rich gooey chocolates or even fancy gifts! It is about looking beyond the deceptive and dangerous allure of ‘romance’ (as depicted in books, movies) and living 20,000 forgettable Fridays happily in each other’s arms!
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50. The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Aren’t you sick of the ‘mmuuah..love you honey’ statuses that feed your feed already? Your not joining in isn’t going to starve the Facebook feed dear- it will keep your relationship healthy, though!
That’s the best of Reddit relationship advice rolled for you in one big package of love!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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