Meeting people you can click with immediately is a truly wonderful feeling. There are very few people you meet who actually get what you are trying to say and understand you, and who end up making up a significant part of your life. However, that should not be the only reason you jump into a relationship with an individual, no matter how tempting it might sound. Men and women are very different creatures when it comes to matters of the heart, and it is important for the former to keep in mind a number of things before they decide to enter into a committed relationship with the latter.
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First things first – what is a committed relationship?
It is one where you date a girl knowing that you will not only be able to reveal your best but also your worst to her, without being afraid of her reaction. That aside, you want to become a better individual for her sake. You care for each other without being imposing, and in all your actions and decisions, there is the promise of tomorrow with each other.
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If you find yourself spending more and more time with each other, talking to each other about things you don’t normally talk about with others, and going on vacations together, be mindful that these are some of the fundamental signs of a committed relationship, whether you have labeled it so or not. However, if you are thinking of “formally” asking her out soon, make sure that you know certain things and ask certain questions before you go ahead. We have compiled a list of such questions / suggestions to help you make that decision:
1. Why are you committing?
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Ideally, before you start with your declarations and confessions of love for each other, it is recommended that you have certain conversations to determine whether your little love story will end in heartbreak or not. Ask yourself why you want to be committed to this one person only, and try to find out her reasons as well, before you make your decision to start a new chapter of life together.
2. Does she appreciate you for the person that you are?
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It is not possible to get into a committed relationship with someone if you have not known each other for some time. But most of the time, when we go out on dates with people we start to like, we put our best foot forward and make sure that they see only our best side. If you have been seeing her for a while, and you plan to take things forward by asking her to commit to you, then you have to first ask yourself whether she has seen the real you. Otherwise, when you shed all pretenses after a few months, she might be in for a rude shock. Try to be exactly who you are right from the start before you enter into a committed relationship.
3. Do you enjoy having constructive arguments with her?
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No matter how agreeable and mellow she may be, she has her own beliefs and opinions, which are bound to disagree with yours once in a while. It is important that your arguments are actually constructive and enjoyable, not destructive. While some debates and arguments might morph into full-blown fights, it’s okay – there is always make-up sex! 😉
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4. No half-truths. No fabrications of facts.
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Half-truths and lies may make you look like a better individual than you actually are, but only temporarily. A committed relationship has long-term connotations and you cannot build it on a shaky foundation made up of half-baked impressions of yourself. On the flip side, assess whether this girl tells you the complete truth or not. Complete transparency is the key to a committed relationship.
5. Your relationship will be much more than fun, frolic, and fooling around.
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We have seen that many men get into relationships thinking it will entail a lot of PDA, love, and excitement, and nothing more. However, that is not what a relationship is about at all. Before you get into a committed relationship, you have to understand that women are complex individuals just like you are, and have wants, needs, and desires just like everyone else. If you are afraid of the fact that along with all the cute talk, you will also have to become mature and start taking responsibility, then you are not ready for a committed relationship.
6. She will be completely emotionally invested in you.
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This is one of the main differences in the way men and women perceive relationships. Where men look at it with more of a carpe diem kind of attitude, women on the other hand give it their all right from the start. Before you enter a committed relationship, you must understand the depth and extent of the commitment she is ready to offer you, and ask yourself whether you can reciprocate it with the same fervor.
7. You have to make an effort for each other.
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Before you actually start a relationship, you have to understand how to commit to a relationship. It certainly means much more than a teddy bear on Valentine’s Day and an occasional text telling her that you miss her. You have to make the effort to find out her interests, likes and dislikes, and be ready to take care of her for the rest of your lives. However, this works both ways. Learn to recognize the signs and see whether she is ready to do the same for you.
8. You will not be able to change her. Ever.
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If you are planning to enter a relationship thinking that you will be able to change some little things about her, then think again, because that is so not going to happen. If anyone were able to change her, it is herself. The reason you are even considering dating her in the first place is the person that she is now. Accordingly, you should also be willing to accept the person that she will become in later years.
9. Are your future plans compatible?
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If you are thinking that it is too early to think of the future, then steer clear of the idea of a committed relationship and think more along the lines of casual dating. It is not possible to enter a committed relationship thinking that you will be able to break up with her if your plans are not compatible. Even if you plan to pursue different careers, they should not be so vastly disparate that you will be forced to separate from each other. Consideration is also an important factor in this equation, and you should be open-minded enough to give her the freedom to choose her own way. Also, she should be willing to do the same.
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10. There will be tough times.
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Before entering a committed relationship, you have to understand that it will not be all rainbows and butterflies ahead. There will be times when you will feel like you are better off without each other, and that the honeymoon phase will not last forever. If you love the idea of spending the rest of your life with this one person only, and if you cannot bear the idea of letting them go, then you are already committed to them in your heart. But you also have to ask yourself whether you will be able to sustain the rough patches and emerge stronger than ever, so that what started out as a promise of forever does not end in tears and heartbreak.
No one enters a relationship thinking they will break up in the future and move on. Therefore, before you decide to enter into a committed relationship with a girl that you have fallen in love with, there are some things that you have to come to terms with so that there are no major blunders along the way. The key is to take your time and think your decisions and arguments through fully, and not get carried away by the idea of spontaneity and whirlwind romances, no matter how appealing they sound.
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