It’s 6.30 am and I’m still in bed. Half the people my age are perhaps up, out and about in the gym, keeping up with those #FitnessGoals they set for themselves and uploading the fruits of their effort on Instagram! The other half are just like me, they cannot be bothered. My eyes are shut and my hands are reaching out to the one thing that’s on my bedside table. An object that has now become an integral part of my life in a very alarming way. This object of my interest accompanies me everywhere, literally. Sometimes even to places I must not make a mention of. So I reach out to my phone for mainly two things:
- to snooze the alarm
- and to check my newsfeed on my social media accounts
Suggested read: 12 ways social media ruins relationships
My newsfeed is nothing but a collection of updates from all my “online friends” (aka the people I hardly meet/like). Well, I like some of them. Just some. So you see, the updates are a great mix of everything. From world news, to trending videos and articles, my timeline has some very interesting feed from my online friends. Information on their whereabouts, their opinions, and their feelings.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Mind you, I enjoy reading all of it. It’s pure entertainment at times; it’s funny how people make a fool of themselves. Their ignorance, ideologies, and attitudes baffle me at times, though at other times, I’m forced to simply roll my eyes and move on.
So, here’s a glimpse of my timeline on social media.
Carmen checked into an international airport to fly to an “exotic destination” that I can only dream of along with her girl pals and she is feeling really “excited”. 5 hours ago.
Birthday reminders which I promptly ignore. Because if I really had to wish you, I’ll just call you (that is, if I have your number and we are genuine friends).
Marvin checked into a “Michelin Starred” restaurant with his five favorite colleagues and is eating dinner. There’s a picture of a single prawn on his plate, tastefully decorated with a single parsley leaf, and an orange sauce of some kind which has been drawn in a semi-circle around that single prawn. 10 hours ago.
Informative and trending articles on feminism, modern day parenting, and DIY videos.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Darlene posted a new profile picture with 3 other girls who are making duck faces. 148 likes and 52 comments from creepy guys. 14 hours ago.
Gary commented on an anti-racism thread, an atheist article, and on a blog post written about Donald Trump. 8 hours ago.
Savannah shared a video of a cat playing the guitar, a dolphin dating a dog (awww), and an adorable 2-year-old arguing with his mum about civil rights. 6 hours ago.
And lastly…
Peter wrote: “Today I want to take a moment and let you all folks know that I have a gorgeous wife who cooks for me, does the dishes and the laundry, loves me like I’m a puppy, and makes me feel like I’m the luckiest man on earth. I’m so grateful for having her in my life. I cannot thank her enough for her support, her unconditional love, and her patience. I love you to the moon and back, Lois. You are my sweetheart.” Feeling loved with Lois. A selfie of them pouting inside a car with their sunglasses on is posted. 12 hours ago. Lois likes the post and has commented with a zillion red hearts and a smiley that blushes.
Image source: Shutterstock
Okayyyyy, you gotta be kidding me, Peter! You couldn’t tell Lois all those things before taking that bloody selfie and posting it on Facebook? Like face to face? Why? Why have you professed your love for her on Facebook? Is it so difficult to express your feelings for her directly without your 1265 friends seeing it? And seriously, what’s with all that pouting? I know you feel loved and want to shout it from mountain tops, but seriously? In that case, you should have done just that, rather than posting your love for your partner on social media to show all your contacts how much you love your partner and how grateful you are for them. Stop being ridiculous and a hypocrite.
Suggested read: I cut back on social media for 6 months, and here’s what I learnt
Yes, ridiculous because,
- no one cares how much you love your partner than your partner alone
- if you do love them, turn around and tell them; they’re right next to you, for crying out loud!
And a hypocrite because,
- You did it only for the ‘likes’. Don’t lie, I know you’re checking every few minutes to see how many likes your post received. Maybe someday, you could use these ‘likes’ to save a little girl dying in a third world country!
- You want people to think you have the ‘perfect relationship,’ while that post may be the only way you communicate with her in reality. Perhaps you are that couple who is on their phone even during a candlelight dinner!
So, you understand where I’m coming from?
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Day in and day out I see that social media has become a means for couples to display their unconditional, true, and selfless love to each other. It has become a platform for couples to showcase their feelings for each other and speak their heart out. It’s exhausting for me as a reader, as your mere acquaintance, as an ex-colleague, neighbor, or simply someone who logs onto social media to have an online presence.
Gone are the days when two people in love would just sit together and talk. It’s upsetting to see how the world is changing and how people ruin real relationships. Undoubtedly, social media has taken over our lives.
And that’s a little irritating.
What some people don’t understand is that you are free to express your emotions; yes, you totally are, but just not on social media. I mean, there aren’t any restrictions as to why you can’t be doing it there, but think about it. What are you trying to prove? How are you adding any value to mankind or your relationship for that matter? Well, we aren’t arguing with all the good things that social media does for humanity (we’ll get to that bit later). Yes, it’s your profile and you are free to post whatever you like, and maybe if your stupid statuses annoy me, I must simply unfriend you or stop following you. How would you know I haven’t done that already? You wouldn’t get a notification for that, would you?
Image source: Shutterstock
But here’s the thing; when you love someone, it makes more sense to let them know of your feelings when you talk to them and tell them one on one. It’s a much mature way to express yourself and a great way to communicate, we think. For Christ’s sake, you live with them. How hard is it for you to simply hold their hand and tell them you love them? Or if you really want to write it down, put it down on a piece of paper and leave it for them to read on their nightstand. Simply text them or call them up. Aren’t these better ways to tell them how much you love and care for them? Without the whole world rolling their eyes at your post in the least.
Social media and relationships have just one problem. They aren’t private. Also, they don’t always go well together. Whether it’s how much you love somebody or how much you detest their shadow, you must not post those details online for the whole world to see. It’s a little juvenile. It’s similar to getting out on the streets and yelling on top of your voice what you think about your government or terrorism, for that matter! Because no one cares; you still have to pay taxes and people are getting killed somewhere in the world as you read this.
You professing your love for your partner online seems like a way to seek attention, like a desperate attempt to gain popularity by doing some cheap stunts. You see, frankly, the world doesn’t care for how you feel, your honest opinion (just like a lot of you are gonna hate me for writing this), or what’s really happening in your life. Because the people who really care for you, are the ones around you, the ones you meet often, or speak to you. They don’t track you down on social media and ‘like’ your “feelings”. So, keep your feelings to yourself or maybe restrict it to that one person.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
When you put yourself out there in the open, you are adding to unnecessary web waste (if that’s even a thing!). Social media and relationships must maintain a safe distance from each other. You don’t want everyone to know what’s really going on in your life. Perhaps it’s this pressure to prove to the world that you have the perfect relationship and the perfect lives. Therefore, you are showing a part of your life that you want people to see, that might not be the truth. Perhaps you are showing the world only the good things in your life, and your relationship is probably one of them. We’re happy for you, and trust me when I say this, we do wish you well, but be a dear and don’t spam my wall with this, every other day. It can really get annoying at times, especially on days when I wake up with bad bed hair!
Suggested read: How NOT to be an annoying boyfriend on social media: The step by step guide
I could probably rant about social media and relationships all day or perhaps give a lecture on the said topic because it has been on my mind for a while. Ever since you started posting collages of yourself and your partner with hashtags like #LoveIsForever, #MyLove, #PartnersForLife, etc.,
Just like how your love for your partner doesn’t matter to me, I know my opinion on your public expression of love won’t matter to you. But since you put it out there every single day, I want you to read this today! Just once, and I’ll have attained my peace.
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