Social media is pervasive in all of our lives in this day and age. It has given us an excellent medium of expression and can be used whether the world wants to listen to us or not! Whether you want to keep it short and simple and type your thoughts within a 140-character limit or use pictures and videos and write a 1000 word story, the choice is yours. From the exotic holiday photos to the sometimes-narcissistic selfies, people are busy showing off their so-called happy lives to the world. Smartphones have made Internet access quicker and cheaper than ever. From the most mundane pieces of information like having woken up late that morning to the major events in your life like an engagement or wedding, it’s all up there, splashed throughout various social media platforms. In fact, it is even possible to tag a particular dish in a particular restaurant; now, who could have thought of that? How you are feeling, what you are doing, what you are watching, with whom you are watching, and where you have been are all served on a platter to us through popular social networking websites like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and others.
My niece, who is all of 16, uploaded a picture of her with her boyfriend saying, “Five months of togetherness”! This is only a small example of all the mushiness that most couples show on social media these days. From candid photos of their weddings, romantic candlelit dinners, to honeymoon pictures in gorgeous destinations expressing how much they love and mean to each other, all of these are commonplace on social media for almost all couples. These are still better than the silly things that some couples do, like uploading pictures of gifts given to each other and even quoting the exact private romantic lines their partner expressed! A friend of mine actually posted an upset status saying, “Not talking with hubby, he got me milk chocolates. How can he forget that I like dark ones?” Whoa, that’s a serious case of negligence!!
Suggested read: How NOT to be an annoying boyfriend on social media: The step by step guide
Discretion has become a thing of the past and popularity is measured in the number of likes and comments each post receives. Social media and relationships have become extremely intertwined, and while a lot of it can be laughed away, there are some things that bring about a negative change in relationships too. Couples do not realize this at the onset, but there is more harm than good that comes out of being socially active online. It might start out as something very small, but as the social media frenzy progresses, it also paves the way for relationships turning sour.
There are a number of ways in which social media ruins relationships, and here I list 12 of them.
1. Misunderstandings due to your partner’s updates
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Your partner just posted an update, either about the way they are feeling or they checked in somewhere with friends, and you are sitting there wondering exactly what it means. They might have simply forgotten to mention this plan or it could have been very random, but once it’s online, it means war from your end. How could they not tell you? These things produce a number of misunderstandings between couples and pave the way for worse to come.
2. Stalking and being stalked by others
Come on, don’t lie now! All of us at some point of our lives do stalk our exes or that cute person we saw at a party. Although a little bit of harmless flirting is totally alright, some people do go overboard on this. Whether you’re jealous that your ex is doing very well in life or pitying their condition, visiting their profile does make a difference to you.
They might be stalking and thinking about you in a similar way, and God forbid your partner find out that you’re still keeping tabs on your ex! Such things might seem inconsequential at first, but they can play a role in ruining your relationship.
3. Letting the world know what’s going on in your love life
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One of the worst ways in which social media and relationships are interconnected is the increase in PDA over the Internet. Social media has also become a place for launching dating sites because of this. While some showing off can be adorable, most of it is outright disgusting! And then there are couples that even fight and argue over social media platforms. So, dear couples, such things will only make matters worse for you and also give a chance to the world to laugh at you.
4. Unknown online friends
Starting an online friendship with a stranger is very dangerous. Your partner has been busy for a while, and so you decided to strike up a friendship with someone online. Apart from the fact that this might pose unknown dangers, it will also create a rift between you and your partner. Be understanding and make compromises and love the one you are with in real life.
5. Insecurities of losing your partner
Spending too much time on social media uploading and downloading pictures and videos may waste a lot of quality time that you could have spent with your partner. It might also appear that you are more interested in what is happening in other people’s lives than your own life offline. This is bound to produce insecurities in your relationship and cause problems that might ruin it in the future.
6. Arguments generated over an update
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Online misunderstandings on social media are not only limited to love relationships. Sometimes friendships are also ruined by misunderstandings on social media. What you write on a digital medium is only words, and it can be hard to tell the true meaning behind the post. The tone and intent with what things are said online are often misinterpreted, which may lead to arguments and can leave a friendship sour.
Suggested read: 12 sad signs of a failing relationship
7. Doing cool things because others do so
Your friend got a cool tattoo with her boyfriend’s name, so you got one too. Your bestie got her nose pierced so you did that too. Then a few weeks later, you’re stuck with an infection on your nose and you are no longer with your boyfriend! Such things not only bring unwanted trouble, but might also lead your partner into believing you to be a fickle-minded person following online trends blindly. And if you still have your ex-boyfriend’s name on your arm, then you better hope to name one of your children that because laser therapy is far too expensive and painful!
8. Showing too much self-love
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Selfies in the gym, selfies with your car, selfies with shopping bags, and selfies with a pout without any reason – this has become a selfie-obsessed generation of people. Besides annoying people in your social media circle with your megalomaniac tendencies, this might also piss off your partner. Being self-loving is a good thing, but being self-centered is not! Pay attention to the needs of your partner instead of uploading mindless selfies, and pose for a picture with your partner and feel loved.
9. The addiction of online games
Your friend just found another lead to a murder in a new criminal case! Sounds familiar? I see a number of such updates in my Facebook dashboard every day along with Candy Crush requests and invitations to join farms in Farmville. I mean, seriously, are you still in school? Things like this will probably be annoying to your partner too, and while you are busy growing vegetables in your virtual farm, the love of your life may be far gone to find a real lady in another land!
10. Dwelling over past memories online
If you have been active on social media for some time now, Facebook also happens to show you memories of what you’ve done on the same day a year or two ago. While this is a very lovely initiative, some of these memories might carry you back to the past and dwelling on these memories might only leave you nostalgic and probably even wistful. You might think you had a better life back then and you might start comparing your current life with your past one. Social media splashing memories you had with your ex will only add fuel to the fire of constant comparisons.
11. The tagging and being tagged factor
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“Betty tagged you in a group photo.” Damn! You did not want your other group of friends to know that! Your mother just saw that post and found out you weren’t studying but were partying with your friends. Worse still, your partner had no idea about it. What follows will be drama, drama, and more drama. On the other hand, if your partner refuses to be tagged in a photo with you for some reason, this will leave you upset with a lot of questions in mind. Whether it is friendship or love, the tagging factor has always created problems, and unless addressed, can go a long way in messing with your otherwise happy life.
12. Jealousy of what other couples do
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Your college friend’s boyfriend proposed to her in front of the Eiffel Tower and your heart sank because you wished your partner did the same. Your neighbors went on an exotic holiday in Europe, which you can’t afford right now. The green-eyed monster pops up every time you see such posts on social media and you pester your partner to live up to what you’re seeing online. This might end in a fight every time and might ruin what you have with your partner.
Suggested read: 12 vital tips on how to stop being selfish in your relationship
Being social is a good thing, but not in the way it is perceived these days. Nothing can compare to going out and meeting people and being social in the real sense of the word. Social media and relationships can affect each other in negative ways. It is very important for couples to exercise caution concerning their online activities because there are a number of dangers lurking in the online world that we often do not consider. Your one little post can affect and distress your partner in ways you could have never imagined. This eats away at the relationship, and one fine day, you might realize that there is nothing left of it. There are a number of things that you can do with your partner instead of showing your love, concern, or anger for that matter, online. As the saying goes, don’t wash your dirty linen in public, and the same goes for your online presence which should be pretty filtered as far as romance is concerned.
A lot of effort goes into maintaining a relationship and you shouldn’t let superficial things like social media ruin things for you. In our busy lives, there are already millions of problems that arise and give way to jealousy and insecurity in relationships. Be mature and wise and deal with problems that appear in your life due to online activities with patience. In the end, it is the love between the two of you that matters and you should do everything possible to keep it going strong. Relationships and social media should be connected only to the extent that is necessary and not just for the pleasure of being popular! So, keep the above 12 points in mind when you venture into the social media world again, and be careful in what you do there, for both yours and your partner’s sake.
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