Before I begin to tell you what the title promises, let me tell you about the reservations I have about the term. It has been a long while since socio-historic conditions have been passed down generations as ‘nature.’ This ‘naturalization’ has not only led to interpellation but caused quite a ruckus in terms of the coda that govern humans and their behavior. Needless to point out, the realm of gender hasn’t been spared from this unfair intervention either. As such, men and women are subjected to different norms and this has caused any deviation from the ‘given’ to be deemed an aberration – a ‘rebellious’ streak. But why should a non-conformist model be labeled ‘rebellious’ when the tenets to which conformity is sought are themselves subject to a much-needed dissection?
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Of course, I understand that I am making all-enveloping and definitive statements with sweeping generalizations – and know that there are, indeed, exceptions – but that is a different issue altogether. What I am calling into question is the ‘label’ put on a human who is, in turn, trying to undo and rip apart the whole concept of ‘labels!’
In a milieu as this, one cannot help noticing why women who choose to tread a different path other than the ‘safe’ (???) one that society has laid for them is termed a rebellious woman. And it is needless to add that the ‘label’ is a scathing one that aims to belittle the woman’s courage to shun the conventional mode of living and choose to be ‘herself’ in a world that increasingly denies her the avenues to just BE!
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A rebellious woman (if we just use the terminology that we are trying to deconstruct) is a woman who has the cudgels to refuse any attempts of the domineering patriarchal society to define who she is. A rebellious woman is a woman who is not afraid to call out the society who is intent on telling her what to do, who to be, what not to do, and who not to be.
Just one thing I gotta say – she’s not listening, folks!
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And now that I have laid bare my thoughts on what I think about the ‘label,’ I believe that the ‘labels’ (as to our rebellious woman) do not matter as much. What matters is the infinite range of possibilities she unravels for herself and (hopefully) exhorts others to, too – coz dominant cultural scripts really aren’t something to go by – your own heart is!
Here are 15 telltale signs that give away a rebellious modern woman roving the streets with you or perhaps, giving a piece of her mind to an eve teaser who groped you!!
1. She accepts herself, as she is
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She radically accepts herself. She understands that living isn’t about pleasing others and being ‘acceptable’ to others. It is about living for oneself by being who one is. And the only way to do that is by embracing oneself, in all one’s strengths and shortcomings and owning them – to live nobly and aim for better! Not only does this complete acceptance of herself redefine the societal paradigm for what’s acceptable and what’s not, but also results in a self-awareness that can be channeled for being a better version of oneself at every stage. Kudos, woman!
2. She does not go by the RULE-book
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When the society flings a ‘silly’ concept at her in the name of ‘what it means to be a woman,’ she flings it right back in their face – with all the force of her abhorrence for outmoded clichés, repugnance for stereotypes, intolerance for definitions and labels, impatience with the status quo, and lets them know that being a woman is whatever the hell she personally WANTS it to mean! That’s a roar, not a whisper. Yep!
3. She wears her age and experience like a badge of honor
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Unlike women who are conditioned to believe that they should prolong the transience of their superficial ‘worth’ – their physical beauty by any means possible for seeking validation of their existence and consequent ‘value,’ the rebellious woman has no qualms about disclosing her age or wearing her experiential knowledge like a badge of honor. They are her hard-earned lessons and have made her who she is – why should she mask ’em, huh? Of course, I do not imply a correlation between age and wisdom in anyway – but nonetheless. This lady’s heightened sense of self-awareness couldn’t have been born of naught!
4. Says no to guilt-trips
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She refuses to feel guilty about hogging on food, being loud in public, not hitting the gym, not getting married at the ‘right age,’ not having said the ‘right thing’ or not having done the ‘right thing’ either! Who gave the others to say what was right or wrong anyway? There are no guilt trips for her – whether from society, from family or even friends. Her life, her effing rules. ALWAYS.
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5. Judgment? No please
When so much is being splattered upon her from all corners, why would she add to the share of others by joining in on the forces of the opposite faction? Any sort of judgment? No please. The world has enough of it already – and for no good!
6. She knows what she is WORTH and does not hand discounts
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She has her own set of standards and shall not levy any discounts on them whatsoever. Only when one knows one’s worth, can one rightfully define the treatment expected of her and to be extended to her. This concept of being responsible first to be entitled to rights is a universal truth for her. And since she is adept at it, she does not hand any discounts on all that’s her fair due!
7. The word ‘should’ is not a part of her vocabulary
The word ‘should’ is not a part of her life. In fact, the only ‘should’ she accepts is that she should reject any dictates about how her life ‘should’ be – it’s her life and she knows how best how she should lead it. This is just the tip of the iceberg that is thoughts of a rebellious woman.
8. She is driven by her own ideals, vision, and dreams
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Yep, coz they are all a part of HER life too – and are HERS and HERS only! Nobody is allowed to define them or determine their direction!
9. She owns her life and accounts for all there’s in it
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By being in charge of her own life, she owns all there is in it. She loves herself, protects herself, saves herself, and sometimes, even hurts herself. But she is accountable for all her actions and learns along the way! Falling, picking herself up, dusting herself, and forging ahead again, are all part of her journey that she loves!
10. She does not live by the morphed concept of ‘strong’
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She understands that being strong does not mean being cold, unfeeling or distant! She knows that being compassionate and empathetic is part of a ‘strong’ that an unfeelingly strong world would never understand! And yet, that’s the strength she chooses to possess.
11. And oh, the *feels* are just as much a part of LIFE
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Heartbreaks, broken promises, shattered dreams or even the rosy romance and mushy love-sagas – anything that gives her the *feels* is an attire that she doesn’t shy from donning and flaunting. She will never say she doesn’t need anyone. There’s nothing brave about hiding away from people or reality. It takes true courage to be open about one’s feelings!
12. Her brand of self-love is the best you know and will be so
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She loves herself and knows that no REAL love is possible without this one. Clubbed with her self-awareness and efforts to lovingly be better every step of the way, she’s just the BEST!
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13. She is happy with the ‘messy’
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Yes, she gets angry – shouts, cries, screams, screws up, throws tantrums, loses it, flies off the handle, makes mistakes, says things that she regrets, gets insecure, does things that she regrets … but owns her story. She isn’t ashamed of any of it, knows to apologize when needed, loves her own unique path, and is content with it!
14. Her best competition is SELF
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She rules out unnecessary competitions in life. She tries to aim for excellence and outdo her own performance. The success of others drives her to be better and she charges ahead with renewed spirit, revitalized determination and a revised modus operandi.
15. She endorses ‘CHOICE’ and the freedom to choose
Coz she has but one LIFE – and so do you! Choose it, every second! Rebellious women are the best!
Now, do you really think THIS level of REAL should be called ‘rebellious?’
I rest my case.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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