Unsure whether you want to hear the wedding bells, sooner or later? Or, to put it more candidly, should you get married? Well, this guide will help you find out.
Let us be honest here, marriage is not for everyone! And when I say this, I am not only taking into account the chronic swindlers, or the hopeless floozies who can’t seem to have any control on their hands, or other parts of their bodies either! Even for an average person, marriage or any committed relationship, isn’t always the dream!
Many men and women, boys and girls, have marriage on their horizons, right from the time they understand what it means to tie the knot, or sometimes even before that! A few of my friends had picked out their bridesmaids dress hues when they were 10, and knew exactly the kind of guy they wanted to marry. And should I even mention when and where?!
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I, for instance, don’t have a board on Pinterest that reads “Wedding”! Also, I don’t have the faintest idea about where I want to go for my honeymoon, or what I would name my children… Well, that is a different story, and I don’t need to get married to have a baby, right?!
Anyway, cutting the long story short, some of my friends, single and those in a relationship, have already decided all this. And that’s because they are confident they want to get married someday! But what about us, who are not sure? Read on.
Maybe marriage is your cup of tea, but you are more into Tequila shots!
If you have started dreading your Facebook wall because almost every day one or the other seems to be tying the knot, I know the feels you are feeling! Yep, the struggle is real! But even if you are single, and extremely glad about that, or in a relationship but don’t see a wedding in your future (near or far), you are not alone! There are plenty of people like you and I!
Should you get married?
We are not discussing whether marriage is a good or a bad thing! Let’s keep that for another time. What we are trying to find out is whether marriage suits you or not. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and I honestly think getting married is something I would never be interested in! If you too are having these conflicting feelings about marriage, the following 14 questions might help you to recognize if you should or shouldn’t tie the knot.
If it is a “no” to the first seven questions, you probably, should not get married!
1. Do you ever think about getting married?
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If you have never given marriage much thought, it is a sign that you do not think of it as a priority. It is quite possible that you have never actually contemplated about getting married before, and that does not make you a rare phenomenon or a freak! Also, it does not mean that you have never thought about a life partner or a family, but what never occurred to you was that there will be a wedding. This is a sign that maybe marriage is not for you!
2. Do your friends’ marriages not put any pressure on you?
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Even though most of your friends have got married, you feel there is zero pressure on you. This shows that you don’t worry or care much about getting married. So this one is simple, right? Check out the next one.
3. Are you not content in your current committed relationship?
If you think there is no need to document your love for this person who you have been seeing for quite a while now, it shows you are not bothered about getting married. You think you don’t need a piece of paper to keep the two of you together, and are extremely contented with the way things are in your love life right now. Not all lifelong bonds have to be bound by a document, right? If you understand and appreciate this, marriage may not be for you!
4. Can you see yourself in a long-term relationship with anyone?
There are many people who cannot see themselves with just one person for the rest of their lives, and there is nothing wrong with that. Now, marriage is about vowing to do just what you are not prepared for. So, quite obviously, marriage is not for you.
5. Are you a settling down kind of a person?
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You travel like crazy, and have no desire, whatsoever, to stop and stare, or share your life with someone else. You are more than happy all by yourself, and you don’t want to change that any time in the future. If all this is true for you, then, in my opinion, you don’t have the time or the interest to settle down with anyone!
6. Do you hate the freedom of being able to walk away whenever your relationship doesn’t seem to be working out?
Divorce is not an option! If you think you would rather pack your bags, and walk out of the door, instead of going through the dreadful paperwork or court-dates, I think maybe you shouldn’t get married!
Suggested read: 11 questions you NEED to ask your partner before investing too much in the relationship
7. Can you split your belongings 50/50 with your S.O.?
Like me, for example, I love my stuff. And I want all my stuff to remain mine alone. Get it? You can go ahead and call me selfish, but I cannot be legally obligated to share 50 percent of everything that belongs to me with someone for the rest of my life! Well, that’s just me… But what about you? 😉
If you say “yes” to the next set of questions, marriage is something you want, deep within, though you may not have realized it yet.
8. Do you want to be attached to someone for the rest of your life?
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If you are 100 percent sure that you want to spend your life with no one but the person you are currently dating (or could be dating, in case you are single), marriage is a way for you to bind that feeling, and make it real. Yes, marriage is for you!
9. Have you pictured yourself as a wife or a husband?
Has anyone ever asked you if you see yourself as someone’s husband or wife, and you went all, “Duh, huh!” on them? Well then, marriage has always been a part of your dream. If it has always been on your mind, you should get married!
10. Do you want to fully be a family, in every sense of the word?
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Some people, like me, think that you don’t have to get married or share last names to be a family. But if, to you, family is all about a husband and a wife and two children, where everyone shares the same last name that’s on the main door, marriage is for you!
11. Do you look at marriage as a tradition?
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If getting marred is traditional and even ceremonial in your family, you should tie the knot with the right person. The same is true for those who practice a religion in which marriage is crucial before getting into a physical relationship. For people like these, getting married to the person they love becomes necessary.
12. Are you willing to give your everything, material or otherwise, to one special person?
If the fact that you will be sharing every single thing (yes, you read that right!) with this person, doesn’t bother you, you should get married. And if you cannot wait to share your life and your belongings with this person for the rest of your life, get married today!
13. Are you aware that if things don’t work out, divorce will happen?
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And that doesn’t worry you?! Even though, you are cent percent certain that this person is the one for you, you have not ruled out the idea that if things get complicated and out of hand, down the road, divorce is a healthy choice. One should only get married if they recognize that things do go wrong, and divorces happen, and that they can deal with it if it should happen.
Suggested read: 8 ways meditation can help improve your marriage
14. Have you been picturing your wedding ceremony since you were a kid?
This is mainly for all the girls out there who have been looking forward to their wedding since they were little. But this is true for boys as well. I have asked several little boys if they would want to get married someday, and most of the time, the answer was, “of course!” But now, as an adult, if you still picture yourself in that tuxedo or that white gown, reading the vows and exchanging rings, marriage is for you!
If you have fancied the wedding and the decorations, and also imagined the kind of music that will be played for your first dance, marriage is your dream. Should you get married then? Well, duh, huh! 😉
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