You might love your partner enough to make a relationship work, but does that mean that it’s actually worth it? Here are 10 things that you should never overlook in a relationship, and you’d do well to keep this relationship advice in mind at all times:
1. Frequent emotional abuse
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Now, this can be tricky. People have their problems and they might not act like themselves once in awhile, but it becomes cause to worry when it happens every other day.
“I act like this because I love you too much”, nope.
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2. Lies
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White lies are harmless like always, and can actually help relationships. The problem starts when there are lies that are a direct breach of trust; if you really find your significant other ‘significant’ enough, you shouldn’t skimp on some major details of your life. “I only lied for the 5th consecutive time so you wouldn’t get hurt”, no, just no.
3. Ultimatums
These are quite common, and abusive. Some people threaten to get their way, assuming that their partner would do virtually anything to not let them go. It doesn’t matter how much you love this person, this is probably one of the biggest of red flags you’ll find in any relationship. Quoting the Reddit user bombardtheBBC, “If you don’t stop making ultimatums, I am going to leave you.”
4. Ego
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Apologies don’t make you vulnerable, you know? If your partner is too much of a stuck up snob to apologize, especially considering how important you’re ‘supposed’ to be to them, it’s a red flag.
5. Physical abuse
This seems self-explanatory, and one might wonder why I would even mention something as painfully obvious as this. Let’s just say I’ve known people in similar circumstances, and they just wouldn’t let go of their ‘loved one’. It doesn’t matter if you love them or not, a relationship like this will never ever work out in the long run. Cut all ties, for your physical and mental health. Violence has no place in a relationship.
6. Possessiveness
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Possessiveness is only natural and can be harmless in most relationships, but it can go over the top in many cases. Instances where your partner doesn’t want you to talk to their friends, and other people from the opposite sex. At this point you have to realize that they treat you like property, and not a separate human being with a life of your own.
7. Warping your idea of yourself
This can be uncommon, but it’s worth a mention. If you think you’re the worst version of yourself around your loved one, it’s time for some changes. Trust me on this, it can damage you irreparably. Introspection is great at this point, and you can decide whether you can adjust or just cut it off cleanly.
8. Keeping score
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If you begin to keep a tally on how many times your significant other has wronged you, your relationship is bound to be doomed. You begin to slowly make it a competition, your partner being someone you have to constantly disprove. Cut it off, because all you’re doing is wasting time over thinking and making yourselves miserable.
9. Prioritizing
If your significant other isn’t able to give you the time of day, you must take into consideration that they’re busy. Take your time to talk to them, because talking is better than making spiteful assumptions. Ultimately if you feel that things will continue like this, and that your partner can’t really help it, or that they don’t really care about you enough to give it serious thought, it’s time to move on. Chances are they don’t care anyway.
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10. Conflict resolving skills
This, is very important. If you’re in a relationship where you have intense fights and don’t talk to each other for a while, and are okay later and get back together and you feel “We fit so perfectly, we adjust so well”, it might just be time to move on. A relationship based on lack of communication and constant ego clashes with phases of “I won’t talk unless he texts” isn’t really worth it.
Relationships can be tricky in many ways, but there’ll always be red flags which you may choose to ignore or take into consideration and give some serious thought. Healthy relationships have a foundation based on mutual respect and trust, and if either of the two are compromised then you have to take initiative. It’s hard, but doing the right thing is seldom easy.
Do you have any other relationship advice that constitute things one should never overlook in a relationship? Tell us in the comments below.
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