A one night stand is a single sexual encounter without any expectation of further relations between the partners. One night stands can be amazing, or embarrassing, mind-blowing, or something you regret — it all depends on how you go about it.
Even though the hookup culture of today’s world is condemned by many people, a recent study has shown that casual sex has a lot of benefits for the people who indulge in it voluntarily. A person might not have time for a long term relationship, but still wants physical satisfaction from time to time. A one night stand is the perfect solution. Moreover, casual sex helps develop self-esteem and confidence, and results in lesser instances of depression and anxiety.
Suggested read: 10 essential dos and don’ts of a no strings attached relationship
Of course, everything has its own code of conduct. It’s important to know the proper one night stand etiquette before picking up people at bars and other such places, or the experience might not be very enjoyable. You might be conversant with the rules of a date or an actual relationship, but you should know that one night stands are different. The whole dynamic changes since the situation escalates within the course of an evening. You don’t know who the person is, and you probably never will, but you’re going to have sex with them. This means you have to keep certain things in mind and act in a certain way. Don’t worry, it’s not as complicated as it sounds.
With a little communication, everything will go well! A no-strings attached rendezvous can be an incredible experience — an unforgettable night — if only you follow some one night stand tips. The following tips will ensure that you have a great time without awkwardness or weirdness.
Here are some essential dos and don’ts of a one night stand that you must keep in mind at all times.
1. Do use protection
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This is very important. Don’t ever forget to protect your body and health; it’s not up for discussion. You should always practice safe sex, more so when it’s casual, because you’ve just met them or you don’t know the person well. Condoms are an absolute requirement. It’s not good to get so caught up in the moment that you decide to forgo protection. Either bring one with you, or buy one discreetly, or if that’s not possible, don’t indulge in actual intercourse. It’s not worth the risk. In fact, in an ideal encounter, you’d have a short discussion about sexual health with your new partner, with mention of any STIs if you have them. Girls, if he’s reticent about using protection or outright refuses, leave immediately!
2. Do be honest with yourself
You should know why you want to have a one night stand. They are great, but it’s good to know why YOU are so attracted to the idea of them right now. Maybe you haven’t had sex in a while (the single life is hard), or you want to feel desired. It might be that you know this person you’d like to sleep with but not date. Or maybe you just have a one night stand on your bucket list and you want to check it off. Whatever it is, you should know. One night stands are fun only when fun is genuinely what you want. If you’re trying to forget about something through sex, or worse, using it as a cure for a broken heart, it might not work out well. Being honest with yourself means you won’t do something you’ll regret in the morning.
3. Do be honest with your partner
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After you’ve analyzed your own motivations and decided to move ahead, you meet a potential partner. At that point, it’s important to be honest with them too. They might be looking for something different, or something more, which is not what you want. Don’t assume that they are looking for the same things you are. It leads to misunderstandings and awkward conversations later. You should be clear from the beginning so that there are no problems later, and you can concentrate on having a really sexy night.
4. Do be sober
Believe me, you might feel liberated while chugging shots, but it won’t be fun later. What’s the point of having good sex if you don’t remember it later? Honestly, it might not even be very good if you’re really drunk. Try not to drink too much, especially since people might take advantage. If you’re not intoxicated, you can ensure that you really do want to go home with the person you’re flirting with, with no qualms. It’s the best way to make sure you have a night to remember without regretting anything or feeling uncomfortable in the morning. Beer goggles are real — alcohol really does mess up your decision making skills.
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5. Do be safe
Not only is it important to be safe in a sexual sense by using protection, but it’s also important to ensure that you know your surroundings. You should be getting good vibes from your partner. Don’t go to a shady part of town alone, and make sure you tell your friends your location (and that your new partner heard you telling people), so that there’s no chance of something bad happening.
6. Don’t be selfish
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This is not just one night stand etiquette, but sexual etiquette in general. You should always remember the Golden Rule: one should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself. In other words, always reciprocate! A sexual encounter, no matter how casual it is, is always about give and take. Don’t become so caught up in your own pleasure that you forget to take care about your partner’s needs. That’s inconsiderate.
7. Don’t overstay your welcome
Even if you had the best time of your life and you want to linger, it’s better to leave sooner than later. Believe me, it’s not fun when your partner has to give you unsubtle hints to leave. It’s bad for your self-esteem. So, don’t give them a chance to do that; prepare to go on your own. If you’re interested in getting to know them, and they are too, it’ll leave them wanting more of you. If you’re interested and they’re not, it’ll save you humiliation. Being prompt about leaving is a good idea either way.
8. Don’t be clingy
This is very important! If you’re the kind of person who becomes emotionally attached after sex, one night stands are not for you! Don’t say anything too familiar before, during, or after. Don’t gush. If you’re a little tipsy, think before you speak. Don’t accidentally on purpose leave anything behind if you’re the one who’s gone to the other’s place. And please do not Facebook-stalk them afterwards. Don’t take things personally or feel rejected if they don’t want to take things beyond one night of passion. That’s just how one night stands work.
9. Don’t be afraid to communicate
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Talk, talk, talk! Remember to discuss your fantasies (they might just be fulfilled), and also about what you’re comfortable doing. It’ll ensure that there are no unpleasant surprises later. Communicate your needs and desires. Being straightforward is the best course of action. If there’s equal communication and both sides are comfortable with each other, you can be sure that your night together will be mind-blowing.
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10. Don’t forget to be wild
A one night stand is the perfect time to let go of all your inhibitions. You’re not going to see them again, so you can be as wild as you want. Is there something you’ve been wanting to try in the bedroom, but you’ve been too embarrassed to ask a long term partner? Have you been hiding a kink? Now’s the time to indulge in every non-vanilla thing you’re into. Of course, you should definitely ask if your one night stand partner is up for it. And you can definitely say no if your partner suggests something you’re not comfortable doing. But uninhibited sex can be life changing! It’s such a liberating experience.
There you go! Casual sex gets a bad reputation, but as long as you follow one night stand etiquette, you’ll have a wonderful time. Now you’re ready to navigate seamlessly into this whole new world of no strings attached nights!
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