Dating is fun when you set out without adhering to rules as to how you want to take it forward. It’s a joyride because you expect nothing in the first few dates or even months perhaps. But, eventually, women who are looking for more than just being a date to a new year’s party (or a quick fling), have a lot to lose if the men they are interested in aren’t taking things to the next level. Most women would love for the relationship to advance and potentially end as being the man’s girlfriend or bride. Initially, men hesitate to commit but that changes over a period of time due to various factors that build a relationship. But, how would one know if the man is never going to be in a relationship with you?
Sometimes, you may wonder if men and relationships are something that blend easily because he hasn’t yet showed any signs of commitment or has been constantly evading the said topic. You may be led to believe that you do have something special but it’s just not commitment that he wants!
Suggested read: 10 surefire signs you have an irrational fear of commitment
Here are a few signs you have to be wary of if you are looking for more than just a mere “bang” in a relationship:
1. He is hung up on someone that’s not YOU
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Typically, in a relationship of this kind, you would have seen the signs from the beginning. If he has vivid recollections of his ex and is constantly telling you about her and also making comparisons between her and you, then it’s time you move on without investing more energy or time on this man. He is probably the type that is two-timing you and his ex in his mind. If a guy is forever hung up on his ex, he will never consider you close enough to match her or want to take things to the next level.
2. His indecisive nature
He calls you and makes plans to meet for coffee and then calls back two hours later to cancel it. He can never make up his mind on what toppings he wants on his pizza! Maybe, it’s too early to judge, but a fickle-minded guy is a recipe for disaster. He sure as hell has his doubts about you if you were thinking otherwise.
3. Meet the parents, not!
Alright, so it’s been a while that you have been seeing this guy and he never brings up the topic of meeting his parents or other close friends. This is one of the clear signs he won’t commit because he doesn’t consider you close enough to meet his folks, and no, he isn’t keen on taking things to the next level as you would have expected. You clearly aren’t his top priority, and will not feature in his family album!
4. Friend-zone
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It could happen that he finally introduces you to his friends and family but he refers to you as his friend and not girlfriend or that someone special. There you go; you just fell in the friend-zone! Men and relationships can be tricky, but the minute he has put you off his radar of “special people,” you sure have no hope that he will ever commit to you. It could so happen that he likes spending time with you but often refers to you as being his friend rather than anything else. So you may have the perfect relationship with this man minus the romance.
5. He refuses to define what you two have
You may have been constantly measuring the heights of the relationship you both share but is he also doing the same? Has he clearly stated that? Firstly, that you both are in a “relationship” and secondly, you are his girlfriend? Lastly, (and this might be expecting too much) he loves you? If none of the above mentioned things have become visible to you, then he, for sure, isn’t going to commit to you. Ever!
Suggested read: 10 brutal truths about loving a commitment phobe
6. The sex is great and it ends there
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While you may have had the best time of your life in bed with this man, that probably is the only thing that comes close to him being best in something. However, he ain’t too keen on anything other than sex in the relationship. For all you know, he considers this whole stint a no strings attached relationship. Well, that makes us women wonder if men want just one thing out of a relationship! 😉
7. He never chases you
Unlike the rom-coms you watch, this man never chases you, no matter what. You find yourself manning up in the relationship or putting efforts to get his attention. Although, men sometimes hold themselves back under certain circumstances, in most cases, if they are genuinely interested in the woman, then they sure do chase after them. Well, in his defense, he is just not that into you. So, get the point and move on, woman!
8. He is regularly being irregular
If the only thing constant in him is his inconsistency, then you are up against a commitment phobe. This type of men fear the very word commitment, and will drop sure signs of their non-commitment nature. For instance, he takes days or weeks to respond to your call or text message, he makes the same mistakes repeatedly knowing very well you don’t like a certain thing or quality in him. That would just show how much he cares for what you think. You need to realize that this ain’t gonna work.
9. You don’t feature in his long term plans
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So this guy has been talking to you for a while and he has probably discussed his aspirations and future plans but you suddenly realize that you are nowhere in them! Now, that’s a red flag. He probably has his game sorted with regards to work or study and wants to move out of town/country but he has never asked you to join him or even considered the remote possibility of having you in his life in the long-run.
Suggested read: Top 8 reasons why men have historically spurned commitment
10. He appears but disappears often
Just like a camel that can go on without water for days in a desert, he too could go on long durations without speaking to you. He usually does a guest appearance in your life, and for the most part he is missing-in-action! Now, if that isn’t a good enough sign that he will never be in a relationship with you, I don’t know what is!
That said, men and commitment don’t always go together; for the most part, men almost always hesitate to commit (especially if the relationship is new). But, if you are observing any of the above signs in him and his behavior, then we guarantee that this man isn’t going to stay longer. The thing about men and relationships is that there’s always a little paranoia in their minds and it could be because they want to be absolutely sure about who they want to settle down with. However, there’s a teeny weeny chance that he could be taking you for a ride if he hasn’t made it visible for you to know that you are the one. So ladies, keep your eyes wide open to watch out for these signs that he won’t commit.
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