Is there a secret recipe to make relationships work? No.
Can relationships work? Of course!
People are complicated, and so are relationships. Making them work requires effort. There are no program codes that can help us fix bugs in a relationship or exit from a tricky situation. The dynamism of a relationship, keeping in mind the individual differences of the people involved, has to be handled with level-headed, critical thinking. Every fight and quarrel needs to be dealt with in a different manner. Nevertheless, there are certain habits that can help you keep ensure that you have a loving, enjoyable and healthy relationship.
1. Happy relationships are not effortless: Every relationship requires work. By work, do we mean flowers, gifts, and spas? Maybe, sometimes. However, a lot more goes into making a relationship a happy one. Trust, understanding, and compromise may be the most clichéd words when it comes to relationships, but only for a good reason.
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From one day to the next, make at least one move that makes you feel happy about being in the relationship you are in. Put in deliberate effort to make your relationship an exemplary one. Build on the important things – making your partner happy, making them feel safe with you, making them be able to trust you.
2. There is no telepathy: Watching Lily and Marshall’s telepathic conversations in How I Met Your Mother may be adorable, but it is just fictional television! Real life doesn’t happen that way. In a real relationship, you have got to speak up and let your partner know verbally what you mean and want.
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And yes, verbal hints, vague references, analogies, and innuendoes do not work. Please do yourself and your partner a favour – talk directly about the issues the bother you or make you happy; it is important. Also, no spring-cleaning – get done with an issue when it happens, not six months later.
3. Change is a two-way deal: When two people enter into an intimate relationship, they both need to change in order for things to work out. The rosy picture that you and your lifestyle would stay the same is a dangerous myth. Furthermore, one person expecting the other to do all the adapting is a sign that the relationship may be on an unequal footing.
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The prospect of change should be embraced by both right in the beginning. Agree with your partner about the changes and adjustments to be made for things to work out. Reach a mutual ground to make things comfortable for the both of you.
4. Take a walk down memory lane: The “spark” of most relationships is short-lived. This is the truth, whether you like it or not. Once the honeymoon period is up, you have to bring back the spark every now and then.
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Rediscover the reasons why you fell in love with your significant other, and find new ones. Talk about where you first met, things that make you click, what makes you realize they are the ‘one.’ You chose them for a reason – don’t let that reason get lost in quarrels and squabbles.
5. Be BFFs: You may not necessarily fall in love with your best friend, but it is very important to be friends with the one you fall in love with. Being friends with your significant other will help you nurture your relationship into something more worthy and substantial.
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After all, when all the froth of romanticism fades, it is the cream of mutual trust and understanding that helps two people stick together. Be genuinely interested in your significant other as a person and not just as a lover.
It will take hard work and effort, but your relationship is worth it – and so is your own happiness!
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