George Sand once said, “There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved.” Being in a relationship with someone is a wonderful thing. But more often than not, it can be a daunting task to maintain one. Women have various expectations from their partners. Most of these are small things rather than anything materialistic. All she wants her man is to understand her needs so that things keep going smoothly. You might be doing things that upset her unintentionally.
Insecurity in relationships occurs when faith and trust are replaced with doubts and misunderstandings. So, how do you know if your relationship is going in the right direction or not? Are there things that you might be doing that bother your lady love in a manner that might wreak havoc on your relationship?
Suggested read: 15 common dating mistakes women make that make or break a relationship
Here is a list of 14 things that you men might be doing that make your women insecure. Read on and be enlightened!
1. Keeping passwords on your cellphone and laptop
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This is one of the things that freak out women the most. This can make it seem like you are trying to hide something from her or that you are guarding some digital secret. Your mobile password might be a simple pattern. Your laptop password might be her name itself! But the very fact that you have one might make her uncomfortable. You might have a password for any reason in the world, but she will try to relate it to her. So, men stop doing that or better still tell her that it’s a simple one and it’s only meant for people who pry. But no, you don’t have to share your email or social media passwords with her. That should always remain private, no matter what!
2. Telling little but obvious lies
Yes, it was pretty obvious that you forgot to pay the Internet bill, which you said you did, because she is still unable to get online. You headed straight to your friend’s place from office when you told her that you had a meeting (Yes, your friend’s wife told her so. Women talk!). You said dinner was amazing when she actually forgot to add salt to the pie. Such lies may seem small and simple and can seem like a life savior during the present moment but these only do more harm to the future. Being honest and faithful are very important things in a relationship, whether it’s about things you like or dislike or about everyday events. Telling lies is one of the things woman detest and this goes on to build insecurities in a relationship.
3. Saving pictures and mementos of exes
You still remember the good times you had with your college girlfriend. Although it might not have ended well, you cherish the memories. You still have her pictures and some of the mementos of your previous relationships. You might even be in touch with your best friend-turned-girlfriend of the past. But my dear man, the woman in your life now is definitely not going to be happy about it! She might not show it, but she obviously doesn’t like it. Insecurity in relationships stems from doubts of this nature, and you better bid goodbye to your old stuff to save your current relationship.
4. Not letting your parents know about her
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She knows the last name of even your married cousin but your parents don’t have a clue that your girlfriend exists! You might just have been waiting for the right time to tell them about her, and many years might have passed by without you even realizing that. But your pretty girlfriend is keeping track of the time. In doing so, you are only making her wonder whether you are serious about this relationship or not. So, why wait for the perfect moment? Seize the day and go tell your parents and remove this relationship insecurity from your life.
5. Making her feel out of place when friends are around
Everyone has their private jokes with their buddies, but is it necessary to crack them in her presence? Try to make your woman comfortable in the company of your friends. Do not leave her hanging there. It is also good manners to make introductions while you are in a gathering. Otherwise, she might think you do not respect her enough and treat her only as a trophy girlfriend or wife.
6. Not remembering important dates and occasions
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Most women are good at remembering dates. They remember the first day you met, the first time you kissed, and maybe even the first time you gave her flowers. So, if you are with a woman with a wonderful memory, then you better start writing down her birthday and anniversary in a diary. She won’t let it go if you happen to forget any of the important occasions because she is sensitive about them. She might not shout at you if you do forget, but it might lead her to believe that you are losing interest in her.
7. Having a vague future plan
It is perfectly alright if you don’t know what you really want from life or if you are stuck in a nightmarish job. Yet, a little bit of future planning can be a good thing, especially if you have a partner in your life. Women usually like men who have a passion in life and who work towards achieving it. If you are still dilly-dallying with your future plans, she might be doubtful about your future together. Worse still, she might think you do not think about including her in your future, and this might produce insecurities beyond repair.
Suggested read: 12 amazing tips on how to make a relationship last
8. Not including her in travel plans and other activities
You just made an impulsive holiday plan, packed your backpack, and went away with your friends. Sounds exciting, but you did not even consider informing your girlfriend about it let alone include her in it. Such things make her wonder if you really want her in your life or not. It is always good to involve each other in leisure activities and it is totally fine to hang out with your friends occasionally. All you need to do is to leave her a message and assure her that she is important to you and you want her to know about what’s going on in your life.
9. Not considering her opinion while making important choices or making decisions
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Insecurity in relationships also crop up when partners make their individual life decisions. This may easily offend some women and it might even lead to a breakup. Don’t make an important decision like changing your job or moving from your city without counting her suggestions. After all, you are building a life together and it will only make her feel less important if you don’t consult her.
10. Being too friendly and touchy with your female friends in her presence
You might be this charming suave personality all women dream of. You might be an extremely social being and express your warmth through a hug or a peck on the cheek with woman. But don’t you dare do it in front of your girlfriend. This will only make her question your fidelity no matter how well she knows the other woman in question. It might really upset her, even if she doesn’t show it. It is not said for nothing that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
11. Not being honest about your past
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For you, your past might not matter anymore, but it’s good to be open about it with your partner. Trust and honesty are the basis of a relationship, and hiding unpleasant things will only make her feel insecure if, or when, she finds them out some day. It might be tough to talk about your past girlfriend or any obnoxious childhood memory, but your honesty will go a long way. So, go remove those skeletons from your closet today and clear unwanted things from your life.
12. Not giving priority to things related to her
Self-love is a good thing, but being self-centered isn’t. Make sure she feels desired and important in your life. Things that are important to her must be equally important to you or else she will only feel unwanted and insecure. Give priority to her play performance as much as you give to an important office meeting. Make her feel important and she will stand with you until the end of time.
13. Only partially listening to her talks, complaints, or wishes
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The last time she asked you for a cake, you turned up with a bouquet of flowers instead. She complained about the kitchen chimney not working and you called the plumber. You seldom fully listen to what she says and end up assuming a lot of it. Men are most often accused of not listening properly, and in most cases, it tends to be true. Women find this very irritating and are easily driven to the edge. Don’t be that typical male, start listening closely to what she says. This will solve a lot of problems and help you in overcoming insecurity in your love life.
14. Being too involved in your own work
You are so in love with your work that you delve deeper and deeper into it each day, leaving no space for any other activity in your life. This includes not spending enough time with your partner and leaving her feeling more insecure than ever. Look up from that computer screen or the office file and look at the beautiful face of your girlfriend. Take a break, go out, do things together, and clear the doubts lurking in her mind.
Suggested read: 33 things you NEED to do to breakup-proof your relationship
Understanding and knowing your partner through and through is one thing that will always be important in a relationship. Although men do a number of unpleasant things that woman find annoying and make her feel insecure, a woman should also not keep unreasonable doubts in her head.
Dealing with insecurity is possible when both partners clear things up between them by asking the right questions and taking time to sit down and listen to each other. Men, if you are reading this, stop doing the above things to the person you love the most in your life. Tell her that you love her, show her that you love her, and enjoy a relationship free from any insecurities.
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