It’s hard.
It’s a bitter pill to swallow.
It’s getting blackout drunk and puking unrecognition during the morning hangover.
It’s tasting that regret in your mouth for days, even months.
Often more.
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Yes, I am talking of breakups. And more often than not, here’s how they go.
You fall in love.
You think he is the one.
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And as you are loving him, you forget what you’d been like when you weren’t.
So, when it’s over, you are this whole other person who does not know what to do without him.
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Your whole world was about loving him.
You woke up to his kisses and arrived home to that smile you missed all day long. You texted him through the day and created lunch stories on Snapchat. You made sure you shared in every moment of your life away so he could be a part of your world and you told him how you longed to return to his warm embrace.
You could write poems on the way his eyes shone when he spoke of his dreams or the way he moved into you when he slept. You could turn the world over to fetch his smile on the days you realized it was going missing. You would go out of your way to let him know he meant the world to you, because he did.
You knew loving him felt right- so right you wished you could declare it was all you were placed on the planet for. Because you knew. You just knew in your heart that nothing so right could ever be wrong.
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But then, it happened. It went wrong. Terribly wrong.
You got your heart torn out of your chest, stomped on and smashed to pieces.
By the one you allowed to make a home of it.
Nobody does that to their home. But…
You couldn’t believe it. Not then, not so much now either.
But there you were, as you are now- your heart broken so bad you knew you wouldn’t see the day when it won’t be broken.
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But why regret a love so pure, brave girl?
Why regret loving him truly and deeply and madly, only because he couldn’t value what you’d to offer?
Love doesn’t arrive with guarantees.
But it does come with a once-in-a-lifetime chance that when you find the right kind, it’d be everything you ever wished for.
They say that true love is worth waiting for- but I disagree. True love is worth breaking for. We live in a crazy world that whirls by at even crazier speed. Holding one’s ground in a world that outpaces the ticks of the clock is to dig up feet-holes in the ground. How, then, brave girl, would you ever be swept off by love?
Get in there.
Love hard. Love deep. Love with all you have.
Even if it means you may end up in a whirlpool of tears. That you may experience excruciating pain. That you may have your heart broken.
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Because when you don’t, you’ll never know if there was a chance. You’ll never know what’d have happened. And that’s the kind of gamble love is.
You play on the off chance that your ‘grand romance’ is at stake and you wouldn’t get it, if you fold.
So you keep at it.
There’s something blindingly hopeful about the whole thing.
Of course, it involves pain.
Mind-numbing, heart-wrenching, soul-crushing pain.
A lot of it.
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So much it weighs you down so bad you can’t move- and wonder if you’d die of the pain.
But brave girl, remember I am calling you ‘brave.’
You are brave because you had enough courage to fall in love in the first place.
You are brave because you were faithful enough to invest your trust in someone else.
You are brave because you knew that loving him could only happen freely, fully.
You are brave because you knew love is far too precious to be half-as*ed.
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And that’s how you loved him.
That’s how you kept loving him.
Maybe that’s how you still do.
So, don’t regret loving him. Don’t regret taking that chance.
Maybe this one chance didn’t come off with that grand sweep. It didn’t get you the happily ever after you were holding out for.
But hey, doesn’t it matter that you were playing for keeps? That you had the guts to stick to your path even as the rest of the world were locking in their courage to remain as unattached as possible?
Doesn’t it matter that the tears you spilled evince just how deeply you can love when the world is fast turning cynical of love, embittered by heartbreak?
Be the ‘brave’ lassie who changes what heartbreak means…
Let it mean an era of fearless loving- freely, fully. Finally.
Let it be the risk it always has been.
Embrace it with every ounce of courage in your body.
Learn to take that leap of faith, even if you don’t know if you shall make that steep ledge.
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Learn to trust even when your mind is fraught with doubts born from former heartbreaks.
Tell your heart to avoid building walls when it can take a sleigh hammer and bring them crumbling down.
Allow your heart to breathe. To be free.
To feel- whatever it wants, however it wants.
Maybe it wants to cry because he got away. Let it.
Maybe it is done crying and wants to feel what it’s like to smile again. Allow it.
Maybe it wants to trust someone who wants to stay. Stay a li’l longer to know if you can.
Because if you believe me, taking a chance on love is worth its while.
It may not always end in your favor but it means you are on your way. The start is always easy, the destination coveted- but the journey is difficult as f*ck.
But if you make it, it means everything.
EVERYTHING.
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But you’ve got to start without wondering if the path is going to get you there- find love and love it back.
I couldn’t have made it any simpler- you can do it, brave girl.
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