Contrary to what popular rom-coms may want you to believe, marriage is no easy feat. Maintaining a marriage and ensuring that it doesn’t end up in divorce is one of the hardest, most trying jobs of all time. Even couples who start out with plenty of love for each other may not be able to stay in love throughout the course of their marriage—though there is no need to blame them for trying.
It is all excitement when you are actually getting married and in the first few years. However, after spending several years with one single individual, things may start to get more and more difficult. The more you get to know a person, the more you understand their shortcomings and the more you tend to start taking each other for granted. These are never good signs if you are planning to spend the rest of your life with your spouse.
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To preserve the relationship, it is important to do certain things that will ensure that you stay in love with your spouse forever. Read on to find out how!
1. Take them out on dates
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Remember the time before you got married? When you used to go out on dates with your spouse and actually dress up for each other? Once they are married, most people tend to forget the butterflies in their stomach, the excitement of kissing at the doorstep and all the other cheesy romantic things that happen on dates. That should simply not be the case. Just because you know that you are married to your date does not mean that you don’t need to go out. One of the keys to staying in love is not losing the spark that you initially shared in your relationship, and there is no better way to keep that spark alive than going out on impromptu dates together.
2. Laugh with them
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It has been scientifically proven that you like people who make you laugh more than those who don’t because laughter releases a certain hormone in your brain. When you laugh with your spouse, you are immediately transported back to the days when all you wanted to do was spend time with each other talking about sweet nothings and wondering about how you got lucky enough to date this hilarious person. Laughing with your spouse is definitely concrete marriage advice that you should try to follow if you plan to stay in love with them forever.
3. Listen to what they have to say
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Listening is a virtue that is coveted even outside the context of marriages and relationships. Just like you have qualms and problems and doubts and anecdotes to share, they do; and as their spouse, it is your duty to listen to them. This way, they will want to listen to you too and communication will only get better. Another benefit of listening to what they have to say is that you will find out new things about them every day. You will begin to understand their insecurities, which can only make your relationship better.
4. Surprise your better half
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Surprising each other is one of the most underrated things for couples who want to stay in love. No matter how much people claim to hate surprises, it is nonetheless one of the best ways to show love to your better half. Whether it is taking them on a surprise holiday or something as simple as bringing home their favourite flowers for a surprise date night, it will make their day. There is no better way to show them that you still value their presence in your life no matter how much time you have already spent with each other.
5. Appreciate their positive qualities
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Usually, after people have been married for a considerable amount of time, they start to take each other’s virtues for granted and tend to point out each other’s flaws instead. Yes, you might know everything there is to know about them and you may be used to their qualities that made you fall in love. However, it is never too late to appreciate them and acknowledge them for their positive qualities, attributes, achievements and the like. Whether they show it or not, they are going to feel extremely loved by even a simple compliment.
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6. Try new things with each other
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In order to stay in love with each other, you have to keep each other on edge by trying new things. When you try new things with each other, you will get to spend more time together, and even get new things to talk about (because eventually you will need new things to talk about) as you make new memories together. Whether it is a new hobby such as cooking, or going on adventures together, you will learn to have fun together through shared experiences. It will not only improve your relationship, but also enrich you as individuals, which will definitely revive your marriage.
7. Take time out for each other
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This is something that most married couples tend to ignore. The importance of actually taking time out of your busy schedules for each other simply to enjoy each other’s company is grossly underrated. This will remind you of the time when you couldn’t wait to spend time with each other, something you might have forgotten after you got married. Ask them about how they spent their day, listen to all the anecdotes they have to offer, and as a result, staying in love will not feel like an effort any longer.
8. Don’t neglect your sex life
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Sex might take backseat after you have had all the kids that you wanted. However, people don’t understand the importance of good sex in the maintenance of a healthy relationship. When you have a sound sex life, you are satisfied with each other to a greater degree, which is bound to improve your relationship. There are a hundred and one ways in which you can spice up your sex life, but that is for another time. Even simply cuddling in bed will make you feel more at ease with each other, ultimately satisfying both of your needs to feel loved and wanted.
9. Pay attention to each other
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We all have our horde of exes who used to forget everything, ranging from our sister’s names to our anniversary. Therefore, you know the importance of paying attention to the things that you say to each other. It is just something that makes you feel special and wanted and loved, which will inevitably lead to a consistently good relationship between you and your spouse. When you pay attention to each other, you remember all of the smaller details about them, their likes and dislikes, their favourite things, and more. There will definitely come a time when you can put this knowledge to good practical use.
10. Be the first one to apologize
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When you are married to another person, you have to be patient and accommodating. This is because once you allow your ego to become greater than the relationship itself, very little can be done to salvage it afterwards. Getting into arguments with your spouse is natural and even healthy, but holding grudges isn’t. If that is allowed to happen, even the smallest things will become unbearable later on. If you bring up things that you fought about or things that happened years ago, then you cannot expect to maintain a healthy relationship with each other either, because your spouse will start to resent you. It doesn’t matter whether it is your fault or theirs; it is important that you apologize first, because establishing peace is much more important than trying to establish who is in the wrong.
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Staying in love with your partner is not something that requires too much effort or planning. After all, you did marry them because you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them. However, things might happen as people and times change, and it is these hurdles that you have to overcome in order to stay in love with each other for the rest of your lives.
These are just some of the simpler ways in which you can remind yourself and your spouse that you love them. Once you start following this advice, I’m sure you’ll find that loving them is the easiest thing in the world, as you take control over the inevitable changes that marriage brings into your lives.
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