Sometimes when you are in a relationship, your partner can become the most important thing in your life. Loving someone may realign your senses to zero in on the whims and desires of your significant other.
While making each other a priority is a cardinal rule of any good relationship, submerging your own personality and individuality is not healthy either. Remember that it’s your own distinct personality that your partner fell in love with in the first place. When you get out of touch with your true self, you lose the ability to truly love others. Here are ways in which you can retain your identity in your relationship.
1. Don’t forget to have some “me” time
Are you constantly with your significant other for whatever you do? Do you find yourself longing for personal space, but are too afraid of voicing your concerns for fear of offending your partner? Social psychiatrists say that couples who give each other space are 50% less at risk of divorce or breakups.
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Start finding time for yourself when you can indulge in activities on your own. Start small by going out on long walks alone, then graduate to either taking up personal hobbies like painting, baking, stamp collecting, pottery making, or start pursuing whatever hobby you’ve been neglecting because of your relationship. Learn to enjoy your own company.
2. Have your own friends
It’s very important to be in touch with friends who have known you for years before romance entered your life. These buddies know who you really are and will help you retain a proper perspective in life. So if you find your social life being taken over by other couples or your partner’s friends, then remind yourself that you shouldn’t neglect your own close ones.
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Spending time with your girl gang or enjoying the occasional boys’ night out will help you regain independence. Encourage your partner to spend time with their own friends as well, and you will find that this will help your relationship in turn.
3. Focus on your professional life
Success in your career is extremely important when it comes to building and maintaining your own identity. If you are a woman, work may take a backseat when you are involved in a serious relationship.
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In one study, 60% of women subjects experienced what is called the “submission syndrome,” where their marriage took precedence over their professional goals. In the long run, this can build resentment and unhappiness in the relationship. Turn the spotlight back on work and focus on your professional commitments. Success at work will only help you gain confidence and self-respect.
4. Learn a new skill
If you are currently between jobs or are not engaged in work because of personal reasons, then there is no reason to be demotivated. Spend the spare time on your hands in honing or sharpening your skills, so that you can further enhance your portfolio. Learn more about what you do best, and then choose to develop that skill by taking up a course or doing a group session.
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For example, if you are a good speaker, then join a debating club. If you are passionate about fine art, then sign up for painting classes. Do what you love, and it will enhance your personality and make you a more independent individual.
5. Learn to assert yourself
Are you unable to voice your feelings even if you are irked by your partner’s decisions or actions? With time, a reserved attitude will turn you into a doormat, and your personality will be buried underground. Learn to express your opinions, fears, concerns, and viewpoints in an assertive yet gentle manner.
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Given the right approach, this will actually build a healthier dynamic between you and your partner – after all, trust and honesty are critical for a functioning relationship.
While these are just pointers on how to retain your individuality when in a relationship, you know yourself best. Think about what makes you happy, and just do it!
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