“Settling into a new country is like getting used to a new pair of shoes. At first they pinch a little, but you like the way they look, so you carry on. The longer you have them, the more comfortable they become. Until one day without realizing it you reach a glorious plateau. Wearing those shoes is like wearing no shoes at all. The more scuffed they get, the more you love them and the more you can’t imagine life without them.” ― Tahir Shah, In Arabian Nights: A Caravan of Moroccan Dreams
I moved into a new city about a year ago. Apart from the fact that leaving your home for a new place is scary in itself, what I think made the experience worse for me was that I knew no one in this new place; not a single relative or friend lived here. However, over time I made new friends, and now this place feels like home.
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In today’s post, I will tell you all about how to make new friends in a new city drawing from my personal experiences. I hope this helps. 
Suggested read: The Ultimate Best Friends Bucket List You NEED In Your Life!
Knowing that you cannot hang out with your best friends every weekend, or go to movies with a pal, is a hard realization, and make moving to a new city the most awful experience of your life. These tips that I have curated for you will help you make new friends quickly, and save you from the trauma of being alone and lonely in a new city.
How to make new friends
“Smile at people everywhere you go. Don’t just give them one of those half-smirk/head nod things. Raise your eyebrows, show those teeth, and chuckle while you smile. Next time you’re at the store, give a full-hearted smile to at least three complete strangers. You’ll be amazed at what this does for them and for you.” ― Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
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When we are in a new city, it is natural to feel out of place. For about 3 months, I had no one to even go and have a cup of coffee with. Yes, my colleagues were friendly, but somehow I felt I couldn’t be friends with them outside the office, or at least that it would take a much longer time to get that pally with them. I am not a person who socializes a lot, and most of my time went in coming to terms with this new environment that there was no time to go out and socialize in a desperate attempt to make friends. However, soon I realized that this is only way to meet new people and find potential friends! Tough realization, but one that saved me more months of this agony of being by myself.
I started socializing and soon had made some really good friends. Yes, it didn’t happen over time, but it happened, and that’s important.
Here are a few tips that might help you make new friends in a new city.
1. Do you love dogs?
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Having a dog is a huge advantage when it comes to making new friends. Take your dog for regular walks to a dog park, and see how easy it is for you to strike up conversations with random strangers. Yes, you are using your pet, but you are also finding them a pal, aren’t you? Think of this as your dog being your wingman!
2. Socialize with coworkers
“When you do talk to people, share what you are. Stop focusing on all the things that you aren’t. Stop focusing on all of the physical features that you think people won’t like about you. Stop focusing on your inabilities or lack of talent. Instead, focus on those physical features that you know people already love about you. Focus on your abilities and the talents that you do have. You have been blessed with all of the above, and that makes you worth getting to know in my book.” ― Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
I know I said it seems weird to be friends with colleagues outside office, but you know what, once you get to know these nerds (yes, they think the same way about you, so it’s okay!), you will know how amazing they are to hang out with.
3. Use meeting apps
Have you been living under a rock? How can you not know about these meeting apps!?
*Tries not to kill the reader*
So, there are a number of different apps that you can download to date, like Tinder, Bumble, etc. right? Similarly, there are apps like Nearify that help you find out about events going on nearby, where you can meet interesting people and make new friends.
Suggested read: Friends Leave, But They’re Never Really Gone…
4. Stick to a workout routine
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Do you love working out? Or like outdoor games like football or badminton? If yes, then your problem isn’t a problem at all. Find an association in the new city where you can play your game. Or if you like exercising, then join the gym. You will meet plenty of like-minded people and it will be very easy for you to strike up a conversation with them based on your shared interest.
5. Stop saying no
Saying no is a good thing, but here, when you are trying to make new friends, you need to say yes to new experiences. You need to go out when people invite you out for drinks, or got out for an adventure sport if your gym mate says he will be there too. You need to build yourself a social life, and though quality is what you want, you need quantity first so that you get to choose.
Also, having friends will help you get more friends. As Psychology Today reports,
“People tend to like others who have a reputation for being nice and helpful, and they like people who like them. If you want to be the type of person who attracts new friends, these qualities will help get you on your way toward building your social group. Once you have more friends, you’ll be able to enjoy some of those perks of friendship.”
6. Have you met… your neighbors?
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URGGGG, come on, don’t stereotype. You are someone’s neighbor too, aren’t you? So aren’t you fun? And also like the most awesome person on earth? Then, your neighbor could be the second best person on the planet. Give her or her a chance. A little small talk won’t hurt anybody.
7. Does your friend back home have a friend who lives in this city?
I know this sounds like a blind date, but you get to meet someone who is good friends with your friend, and your fiend does have a good choice in friends, coz you are a friend of theirs, right? Did I lose you there!?
Just relax, and meet this person who might be a nice guy or girl. Ask her/him to take you around the city, and through that experience you will know if this person is friend material or not.
Though making new friends is important, it is also crucial to choose wisely. You don’t want to befriend someone you will be regretting down the line. According to WikiHow, here’s what you can do:
As you befriend more people, you may find that some are easier to get along with than others. While you should always give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes you may realize that certain friendships are unhealthy, such as if a person is obsessively needy or controlling towards you, constantly critical, or introducing dangers or threats into your life. If this is the case, ease your way out of the friendship as gracefully as possible. Cherish those friends you make who are a positive influence in your life, and do your best to be a positive influence in theirs.
If you have to leave a friend because they aren’t good for you, try to preoccupy yourself with other things, such as a new volunteer opportunity, so that you can honestly say that you don’t have enough time in your schedule to spend time with them (but don’t substitute their time for time with other friends; they may notice and become jealous, and more drama will ensue).
Suggested read: 19 Valid Reasons Why High School Friends > All Other Friends Ever
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That is all we have on today’s post on how to make new friends in a new city. Is there anything in particular you want to talk to us about, or want on our advice on? Let us know in the comment section below.
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See you until next time!
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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