Has he begun to seem disinterested for long stretches? Is he no longer as enthusiastic about sharing his life with you? Is he no longer responsive to your needs? Does he keep things from you? Do you feel an element of unease and awkwardness creeping in his behavior? Are his words and body language stretching in antagonistic directions?
Well, chances are that your relationship has either settled for emotional mediocrity or is well on its way for an ugly fallout!
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Men are expected to put their partners at ease in a relationship, so that they can feel comfortable about being themselves, opening up, and building the foundation for a boundless receptivity to the giving and sharing processes in the relationship. Ever wondered if you are doing the same for him?
What – still thinking, eh?
Men need to feel safe too – safe enough to let their guards down, open up to you, be completely vulnerable, and most importantly, be accepted in the truth of who they are. Unless you create this safe haven for them, he shall always be vacillating between actualizing the idea of a lasting relationship with you and nurturing doubts about whether it, indeed, has the potential to be a lasting one! After all, one cannot build a healthy relationship without being fully present in the present for the dreams of love’s promises to unravel in the future.
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So, what do you do? How to make him fall for you? in a way that there is an uninhibited exchange of emotional, physical, and mental vibes? How to make him fall for you, so much so that the ‘initial’ process of getting to know each other unfolds into a beautiful saga of love – characterized by depth, meaning, and growth within the ambit of the home-y intimacy you have built for each other?
By avoiding the alienation monsters that leapt off this page as soon as you started reading!
Suggested read: How to love an emotionally unavailable woman?
It isn’t uncommon to find alienation demons devouring what were most likely relationships that held the promise of a healthy and happy future. The reason – the absence of intimacy.
Not sexual intimacy (although that’s an integral component of a healthy relationship too) – I mean the interpersonal closeness, which we, by nature, yearn for! And which we, vis-à-vis our own doing, fail to grow – leaving ourselves and our partners marooned from the intimacy that we crave!
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So, in order to make him fall for you, such that your relationship develops into a lifelong bond of togetherness, you need to forge a raw, real, vulnerable, and naked connection with his mind, body, and soul. Only then will he learn to embrace you completely as the woman who is ‘right’ for him. You do not have to be perfect – just patient, appreciative, caring, and accommodating enough to accept him for him – to make him believe that whilst you love him at his best, he’d still be worth all your love at his worst!
And all you need to do to forge this connection is:
1. Build the intimacy the ‘In-To-Me-You-See’ way
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Achieving true emotional intimacy isn’t possible without opening up yourself. Only by being truly vulnerable yourself can you allow him to see that you are opening the doors to parts of you that you had kept inaccessible to most. He will feel valued enough to be let in on an intimate part of you, thereby creating a safe space for him to start sharing his innermost thoughts too. Of course, the process is gradual and may start off with sharing desires, wants, needs before treading the precarious grounds of fears, insecurities, and doubts! In any case, it is a start to sharing your full self with another – and it can only happen vis-a-vis complete vulnerability – no holds barred!
Suggested read: 15 essential things you must accept to make your relationship work
2. Instead of using sex as a way to forge a connection, allow it to flow as a fully-embodied expression of your present intimate connection
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Have you seen two partners grow distant even whilst the romps were raunchilicious?? There you have it – the reason why physical intimacy is the wrong start to forge a deep, meaningful bond with your partner. Sex is meant to be a healthy expression of everything you feel in your heart. And unless you have made your way into his, no amount of seduction, kinky moves or rambunctious romps shall make up for the lacuna. So, instead of using sex as a tool to carve out your path toward (pseudo-)intimacy, achieve a healthy emotional connection and allow it to lead you unto some sexilicious paths!
3. Weed out the disconnection by learning to let go
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The way to a man’s heart isn’t merely through his stomach. There’s lots more than food that can help you possess the keys to his heart forever. And the best way to win is to fight your opponent – so defeat the disconnection demons by letting go – of your need to control, of the urge to be reactive (try being responsive instead), the hesitation, the doubts, the need for power, the involuntary reflex of defense. By letting go of these negative elements that erode the possibility of an intimate connection little by little, you pave your path to achieving rock-solid intimacy. All you need to do is learn to differentiate your reactions from responses, let go of the nagging-whining-cribbing syndrome, be your own whistleblower when you get defensive, and learn to admit to and own your mistakes. By relinquishing the need to control and be in power, you will unlock the most powerful way to win your man forever!
4. Honesty is a friend
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By being completely honest with your partner, you open the gates for reciprocal behavior. I know sometimes the fear of creating unnecessary discomfort, awkwardness, hurt or anger or even complete rejection may induce one to resort to mask their natural responses or concoct a lie. Avoid that at all costs. You have no idea about the inherent power of asserting that you feel bad about hurting your partner and yet, the ‘sorry’ seems lodged in your throat refusing to come out or saying that you do not want to be silent but that’s the only way you know to cope with the hurt you are feeling! It opens an access-door to a realm that you had kept closed until now – and in making this intimate access-card available, you allow a vital possibility of vulnerability and the consequent intimacy to unfold! TRY!
Suggested read: 11 signs of a healthy relationship
5. Communicate
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Obvious, huh? Duh uh. Has anything until now seemed part of the ‘oh-we-knew-that’ book? So this page isn’t about the communication patterns you deploy currently either. For your relationship to attain the level of intimacy it requires for him to love you endlessly, you need to communicate in a language that holds significance for him. This may not be verbatim (even if that’s what works for you or what you are adept at). Find out the ‘language of love’ that your partner responds to and make use of it, to forge a meaningful connection with him. If thoughtful gestures make his clock tick, give him plentiful hours of thoughtful gestures. If appreciation and encouragement rock his boat, dole out just that! If … well, you get the idea, right! Go, figure … and do it!
Remember – the deeper you dive, the less you’ll mind upsetting the waves! So – go all in! 
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