7 Tips On How To Make Him Desire You

by Sejal Parikh · May 7, 2015

If your relationship is fraught with the fear that you might lose his attention to someone else, the constant doubt about him not ever being satisfied with just YOU owing to a real tangible ebb in the sustenance of the ‘ohh-wow’ desirability quotient that had him obsessing over you in the initial days of the relationship, then you have come to the right place!

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First things first – the answers that most relationship forums give to the ever-haunting question how to make him desire you is all horses**t. They tell you that you can withdraw, play hard to get or even dangle a ‘prize’ (sexual or otherwise) in front of him but withhold it when he comes for it, without realizing that with such maneuvering, one cannot create a relationship that is deep and meaningful. I mean, it is silly to assume that you can gain power (however, misled and false it might be) in the relationship by coming from an equally pseudo-power position. The problem with this distorted form of advice that aims at creating ‘sexual tension’ is rooted in the misleading definitions of ‘sexual tension’ in the dating world. Sexual tension, contrary to popular belief, isn’t merely about sex and constitutes much more than putting on your sexiest clothes, rubbing his feet or nibbling his ear, or giving him any other nonverbal signals that suggest that you want and are ready sexual intercourse. These actions and behaviors may and can get you “sex” but they do not necessarily make a man sexually attracted to you. So, what then makes a man desire you, you ask?

Suggested read: Tips on how to make him fall in love with you

Excellent question. 😉

The answer, however, is in the reinvention of a definition that had long since been relegated to an obscure realm but has remained the same, regardless. DESIRABILITY is distinct from, but always includes physical characteristics (physical state of the body and body language fluency), mental characteristics (thought process, beliefs, and attitudes), emotional characteristics (moods and attachment patterns), social characteristics (interpersonal skills and ability to get along), and spiritual characteristics (sense of self and connection to a higher power). It is holistic in nature and much more complex than a mere desire to satiate one’s carnal instincts. It isn’t without reason that terms like ‘sapiosexuality’ exist, right?

So, now that the rationale is well-founded, let’s delve deeper into the process of how to make him desire you.

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How to make a man desire you, as already mentioned, isn’t merely about inducing the kind of sexual tension that draws him to bed you. I mean, sure, he perceived you to be sexually attractive and hence, was driven to pursue you. But once the desirability index on that front started to lose weight, the relationship began to fizzle out too. Reason? Coz sexual tension of this kind alone is not capable of sustaining the regenerating energy that gives him the same quivering sensation as he felt when he first kissed you like you were air. What you need to make a man desire you and only YOU is to decode his own unique ‘desire imprint’ – the one that explains what it is that he deems desirable in ‘his woman.’ This would include a combination of physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual (if at all) elements that rock his boat! So, if you want to make your man desire you, every second until forever, you’d have to make his inner clock tick on all these fronts. Here’s how to do it, with my unique MASSIVE theory on how to make him desire you:

1. Mystery

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The best thing that you can do to make him quiver with sensation is to pique his curiosity. He’d love to explore … and then explore some more!

Physical – The best way to ensure that there’s more to explore each time on the physical plane is by experimentation. Don new roles, have puzzling playful messages delivered to him at work, make him unravel a mystery for some raunchy incentive, titillate his man meat with something unbelievably creative (how about painting?) or just leave your clothes on the floor from the door up until where you are waiting for him with maybe, whipped cream on!!

Mental – There is nothing more exciting than a woman who continues to enthrall her man by unwrapping the folds of the fabric that clothe her intelligence. And if it aligns with his own interests – nothing like it. Remember that intellectual stimulation, albeit in a manner that itself takes some ‘brains’ to keep the attraction flux steady, is a sure-shot way to keep him interested!

Suggested read: Here’s how you can be more attractive to men

2. Anticipation

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Ever thought why most relationship advice forums tend to approach the dilemma of making him desire you here and end it here? Because it is the easiest. And by the way, works – on one level. So tease him, let him wait for his ‘trophy,’ let his imagination run wild! He will come on with twice the intensity of the wait – and it will be worth it.

Physical – We don’t even have to tell you about this, do we? Sexy messages, best lingerie, the fragrance he can’t resist, maybe some chocolate, soft music or even some kinky stuff! Whatever he likes!!

Mental – Yep, you can do the anticipation-thingy here too. Just keep him guessing – about the fantastic ‘solution’ you had promised to a head-scratcher he had come home with last weekend or the puzzle that you built especially for him. Keep dropping in clues too! Bonus tip: let him figure it out on his own. Men like to be heroes, plus you have already let the A-bomb tick. So it is a win-win!

3. Space

I just cannot stress it enough- give them their space, ladies! They need it as much as air! On all planes- physical, mental and even, emotional! When you do and engage in your own active life outside the ambit of your relationship, he will miss you too! And that shall flow in as a reenergizing potion into your equation. Works wonders, trust me!

4. Surprising sensuality

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Men flat line from the familiar. If you want to keep him interested for a minimum of a lifetime, variety is key. So gift him surprise packages of sensuality. He will dig it.

Physical – Find reasons to touch him and often. Hold his hand when you are out, squeeze it hard when you get scared watching a horror flick, hug him hard when his favorite team scores, kiss him when he leaves for work, and welcome him home with a kiss, make love to him like it is the last time! Let him know he can claim you as his while you are making him yours.

Mental – Give him a sensory flashback, send him a sensual text or have his clock ticking by making one of his crazy dreams come true! Conjuring up that new-love rush or complimenting him when he is least expecting it (especially when in company) followed with a peck gives him a high like nothing else. Of course, he may dismiss it or merely smile, but deep down, he is loving every single second of it!

5. Investment

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No relationship works without investment. You have to invest in your bond and heavily so for your man to acknowledge and appreciate everything you do for him. From the little things like remembering to keep his juice ready with eggs in the morning to giving him your undivided attention when he wants to vent – he notices it all and loves you for it. And for this, he’d want you today, tomorrow and for a lifetime! Of course, we do not suggest investing in a relationship that has an ungrateful man at the other end – but we believe that a man worthy of your investment shall appreciate every bit of the love, care, and concern you shower upon him. After all, people who give it their all, without levying any discounts, are hard to come by! Men WANT that!

6. Vitality

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A woman throbbing with vitality is a magical creature – ask the men! Men assert that women who brim with love for life and everything in it and are able to enjoy each moment despite the odds, are immensely attractive and desirable. There is something incredibly appealing about a woman who is driven by passion, fills her life with meaning, has love for life and its verve, braves it all with a smile, and is aware of herself and the world. Not only this, what makes her all the more alluring is the confidence with which she sets out to achieve all she wants, embracing and owning imperfections along the way. And for men, this is THE DREAM!!

7. Earnestness

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Men like to have women who are exactly what they see. Sincerity and earnestness in your character as well as behavior are an essential pointer on the checklist of ‘desirable traits.’ Show him the REAL and seal the deal, forever!

And there you have it, laid bare, the RIGHT answer to the question, how to make him desire you, and choose to ‘desire’ you always! Coz that’s the only kind of ‘desire’ you’d desire to have, right?

Good luck there!