“When I was a kid, I didn’t really know how love should feel like. I tried to derive its definition from people around me. How my dad used to love my mom or how my friends were falling in and out of love with each other! Everyone around me who was in love was either hurt or being broken into thousands of pieces.
So, I started to believe that this is what love is all about. Love is about hurting others. It is about making someone cry. It is about leaving. This is what I have always known until you came and made me believe that you are my only exception!”
I exactly remember each and every word she said, before we kissed for the first time and commenced our story. I always knew that she had abandonment issues, but it took me really long to realize an efficacious way for dealing with abandonment issues and build that deeper connection with her. It was only after I heard her story, I realized why she had always guarded her heart – it was because she got the wrong meaning of love. She used to believe that love is all about leaving. It took me a long time to make her realize that her definition of love was wrong.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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Chances are that you might be dealing with abandonment issues of a significant other even without realizing it. Since the gravity varies from person to person, not all signs are evident but that does not mean dealing with abandonment issues can be forfeited in favor of simply loving the person. Coz your significant other might not come to believe your ‘loving’ because of their emotional makeup. The best way to help them is to love them– no questions asked. They might be fragile or already broken. It is your duty to put them back together, as there are a few scars in this world that only love can heal.
You have to try REALLY hard
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
She will push you away. She will never really let go of her guard. If you really want her, you have to keep trying, no matter how many times she would push you away. After a while, you will crack the hard shell. You will get to know the real her, but you have to try really hard.
You have to stay. Always
If you leave her halfway, it will only make her believe how right she was about you and everything else in this world. You need to make sure that you get emotionally invested in her. It won’t be that easy! You might have to take this journey with her, by being her companion.
You have to break her walls
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
If your girl is having abandonment issues, she would create a wall around her heart. Chances are that it would be that thick glass wall that no one would be able to see. You would see her, but you won’t be able to touch her soul. Everyone around her might believe that she is fine, but they won’t be able to look beyond that invisible wall. It would be your responsibility to break that glass wall and save her from herself.
You have to make her believe that you are her exception
Because ever since she was a little kid, she believed that she was not meant to find love. According to her, she is not worthy of having her happy ending. The entire world is painted in black for her and you have to give colors to her monochromatic hues. You have to make her believe whatever she was told was wrong. It was all a lie.
She could have been with the wrong group of people, who make her question the mere existence of love, but you would never do that. You are her exception. Make her believe that.
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You have to love her unconditionally
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Because when you love her, you just love here. There won’t be any condition involved. Unconditional love is the biggest magic of all. It can make people do the most outlandish things. It can make her believe in her “happily ever after” too. She won’t be having those abandonment issues. She would be having you. And you know what? That’s all she needs!
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