None of us come with inbuilt manuals that tell us what to do when our relationships look a bit shaky, but you can always count on some reliable advice from people who have learnt it the hard way. If you’re contemplating moving in with your partner, you could well use a few tips that might come in very handy to make your relationship stable and happy.
1. Be understanding
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A lot of people assume that couples who are living together have gotten just about everything sorted out. If you really want to give your relationship a chance, then understanding your partner’s needs as well as your own is critical. In the end, whether it is a cohabiting relationship or marriage, understanding between partners is what makes or breaks a relationship.
2. Take time to find out what works for the both of you
Like all other relationships, a live-in relationship also needs to be built with care. This could be your testing ground to see whether you are serious about each other, enough to take this forward into a lifelong commitment. It is important to remember that what is normally acceptable within your own relationship as you had previously known it, may not hold true when you move in together.
3. Have clear ground rules
When two people live together, it is very important to have some clear expectations set, right from the very beginning. This involves everything from sharing together time and room spaces, to finances and guests in the house. Once you have a basic set of rules figured out, pledge to stick to them as a unit. If they don’t work out, devise something that does. This critical step helps avoid conflict and confusion from the start.
4. Share responsibilities
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Being in a live-in relationship does not mean that you can forget about all your household responsibilities. In fact, if that is your thought process moving in together, it might be the nail in the coffin of your relationship! Divide and conquer – let each individual do what they are good at. Sharing responsibilities lessens the burden on both of you, and shows your partner that you’re committed. For those who are considering marriage further down the road, this is a good way of sensing whether your partner can actively participate in sharing household chores or if they’re too lazy to care.
5. Personal space
Some people enter a live-in relationship because they think it will give them more personal space than in a marriage; others choose to move in so that they can share absolutely every domain of their lives with their significant other. You and your partner need to come to a common understanding on what your needs are when it comes to personal space. Otherwise you might end up in a cohabiting relationship where you find it suffocating to be with your partner after a while.
6. Get your finances sorted out
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Setting up a mutual household finance fund is important. The two of you could contribute equally, or you could divide the bills according to each person’s financial capabilities. It’s very important that you get this sorted out at the very beginning, so that money doesn’t come between the two of you later on.
7. Keep your sexual expectations clear
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Many take it for granted that a live-in relationship means fulfilling unlimited sexual expectations, ignoring that every relationship has its limits. Make sure that your partner understands and accepts your sexual expectations from them. Learn to look at your relationship from the perspective of sharing your life fully with someone rather than sharing only your bed with them. If you and your partner may not necessarily see eye to eye on what goes on in the bedroom, make sure you discuss the issue with your partner before you decide to move in.
8. Know each other’s personalities
Get to know the personality of your partner before you move in. If your partner is very different in terms of taste, manner of living, and day-to-day habits, either accept it or communicate what your expectations are from them as far as living together is concerned.
9. Experiment and do things differently
Your live-in relationship might become stale with time if you don’t take the initiative to spice it up and make it fun. Take advantage of the fact that you’re not married and have the autonomy to decide what to do or not do with your partner.
10. Be realistic
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A lot of couples get into a cohabiting relationship without truly understanding what it entails. Some have unrealistic notions of being in a space where they can play out their wildest fantasies without having to care about anything else. But a live-in relationship also demands that you understand the basics of being with another person while taking good care of yourself. No matter how much you like each other, sharing space demands that you make certain adjustments. Once you get that part sorted out, you’re good to go!
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