Going out on a date is one of the most quintessential parts of being in a relationship. Whether you are in a serious relationship with someone, or you are just about to get things started with someone or you are just in the mood for something casual, going out on a date is one crazy important part of it all. However, you might not always be in the mood to go out on a date. In times like these, you need to know how to get out of a date without being rude with the person that you are going out with.
Giving excuses to get out of a date might sound easy. You might even think doing certain things to discourage your date might be very easy to pull off, but that is, in reality, not at all the case. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who want to ditch a date and there are some set excuses which everyone is familiar with. So when you give your date, or potential date such lame excuses, they know very well that you are trying to ditch them, which makes you a horrible and rude person, and it hurts their feelings. The very reason you have decided to read this article is so that you don’t have to be rude or hurt their feelings, while still managing to avoid your date.
Suggested read: How to end a first date gracefully
There are two scenarios which you may find yourself in. One, where you are just simply not in the mood to go out on a date this one time, and another, when you don’t want to date that person ever again and you want to refuse them, or start the process of not going out with them with this one date. Here is some very sound dating advice for people stuck in both situations.
When you are just not in the mood for going out on a date
1. Tell your date beforehand that you will not be able to stay long
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If you don’t want to be rude to your date, one of the primary things that you have to do is plan beforehand. You don’t want to meet them, go out with them, spend time with them, and then ditch them midway because you are not in the mood. If you want to act like a decent human being, but not go out at the same time, you can tell your date at the beginning itself that you will not be able to stay for too long, as you have other plans. This way, you will not have to come up with some lame excuse like an “emergency” and you can leave early too.
2. Drop them a voice mail saying that some guests dropped by unexpectedly
This is one of the most underrated excuses, and it is much, much better than telling your date midway that your friend has had an accident, because that is very lame. Drop them a voice mail, sounding genuinely upset about having some unexpected guests drop by your house, because of which you cannot go out with them. However, if you want to make them feel better, tell them that you genuinely wanted to be there with them, and go out with them, and the new circumstances were completely out of your control.
3. Do not leave them hanging, call them up and tell them you can’t go
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One of the worst things that you can do is simply not turn up. Your date will remain waiting for you for hours and hours and call you (And you won’t pick up on purpose) and you’ll wake up the next morning and tell them that you fell sick and then fell asleep. This does nothing except establish you as one of the most terrible people to exist because they took all that effort to come meet you. The least you can do is call them or leave them a voice mail telling that you can’t turn up. You can give them the guest excuse or the sick excuse or other such excuses to get out of a date, but for heaven’s sake, don’t leave them hanging. If you do, you might not be able to go out on another date for a really long time.
4. Give them an alternative plan instead of completely blowing them off
If you want to know how to get out of a date without being very rude about it, make sure that you give your partner an alternative plan and time which at least shows them that you are interested in going out with them and you are not just blowing them off. Tell them an exact date and time when you will meet them again when you are cancelling on your current plans, to at least make them feel better.
5. Do not cancel on them while they are waiting for you to turn up
If you are someone who waits until it is time for you to show up for your date, when you call them and tell them that you will not be able to make it for some lame reason or the other, then you are nothing but the most terrible kind of human being, something I am sure no one wants to be. If you want to know how to get out of a date with someone you can potentially be in a relationship with, without being a rude jerk, tell them several hours or at least a day beforehand, so that they don’t waste their time waiting for you.
6. Plan a short date, where you can leave sooner
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If you have no excuses up your sleeve, but you don’t want to spend hours and hours hanging out with your date, then you can plan something short and sweet and leave soon, instead of ditching them completely with excuses lamer than “I’m sorry I can’t make it.” For example, you can plan to go out on a coffee date instead of a full three-course meal for lunch or dinner. Or instead of watching a 3-hour movie together, take a walk in the park and then part ways like mature adults, until next time.
Suggested read: How to ruin your first date in 9 golden ways
When you don’t want things to become too serious and you want to discourage them
7. Start introducing them to the friend zone with subtle hints
So you have decided that you don’t want to continue dating them. And you definitely don’t want to go out on a date with them right now. The most polite thing to do is start to gradually introduce them to the friend zone, by dropping some subtle and some not so subtle hints. Do not send them kiss emojis, heart emojis, do not flirt with them, and do not get their hopes up by leading them on. If you start now, whether it is in person, or whether over your phone or text, make sure that you don’t lead them on.
8. Do not give them the impression that there will be another date
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This is another thing that you should be doing when you are figuring out how to get out of a date, this time. If you don’t want to go out on this date, or any subsequent dates, you have to make sure that you tell them that firmly. I had mentioned in the previous section that if you don’t want them to feel bad, give them an alternative plan for your date. However, if you don’t plan on going out with them again, the kindest thing to do would be to ensure that you make it clear to them, and not give them unnecessary hopes and expectations.
9. Tell them a convincing lie so that they don’t feel miserable
If you absolutely have to lie to them and you cannot avoid it, tell them a lie that is at least convincing. Because trust me, nothing is worse than telling a lie and the person on the receiving end of it understanding that you are lying to them. It completely destroys your purpose of being not rude to them. Tell them things like you have contracted a transferable disease like conjunctivitis or something of the like and you don’t want to infect them. Things like that are genuinely believable if you don’t want to confront them about the end of your relationship just now.
10. Take some friend with you, or meet with them “accidentally” during your date
One of the best ways of getting out of a date is the “friend” trick. You can do two things in situations like these – you can ask a friend to come to the place where you all are going and then meet her by accident. Or better yet, ask her to approach you. You can also take a friend along deliberately in order to make sure that you don’t get too comfy and cozy with your date, or the other way around. This is a very subtle hint that you can drop about your future plans with them, without being very rude about it.
11. Show them, without being rude, that you are not enjoying yourself, and ask for a raincheck
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One thing that you can do if you want to find out how to get out of a date is show them that you are not enjoying yourself, and if they are someone with some tact, they will either try to make things better for you, or they will let you take a raincheck. If they are not the kind of person who is able to understand subtle hints, let your irritation show and blame it on a bad day at work or something of the sort, to get out.
Suggested read: 12 cool double date ideas that will redefine fun
12. Tell them the truth
If nothing else works, tell them that this arrangement isn’t working out for you. There is nothing like being perfectly honest with someone you don’t want to torture with false impressions and a prolonged putting off, which will only result in rejection. However, even when you are telling them that you no longer want to go out with them, make sure that you do it face-to-face and not take the coward’s way of sending a two-liner text or even a voice message.
Dates are always not about roses, romantic dinners, dressing up, and meeting the love of your life. Sometimes, you just don’t want to go out with someone, either because things are not working out for you, or because you are just not in the mood. These are the most polite, and more importantly, believable ways of getting out of your date.
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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