Are You And Your Partner Drifting Apart? Let’s Find Out

by Bhavya Kaushik · September 5, 2018

Do you think you and your partner are drifting apart?

If your answer is “yes”, then you have come to the right place. Every relationship goes through certain ups and downs. It is important to take a step back every once in a while and examine whether you and your partner are on the same page or not. After all, the person you fell in love with a few years back could be a whole new person now.

Therefore, if you think you and your partner are drifting apart in a relationship, then you should surely not overlook this problem. If the relationship is worth the effort, then you should not hesitate walking an extra mile for your partner. Here are some evident signs that will help you determine if your relationship is losing its charm.

They are no longer your go-to person

This is one of the most prominent signs of knowing whether you two are drifting apart or not. When you are in a relationship, your partner should be your go-to person. They should be the first one you want to talk about the good or bad things in your life.

Whether it is a promotion at work or a bad day, we wish to talk about every minute thing about our life with our partner. If you have started to talk to other people or find comfort on your own, then you should certainly consider this as an alarming sign.

You don’t make enough effort in your relationship

If you want your relationship to last, then you need to work on it constantly. Though, there comes a time in every relationship when we need to decide if it is worth our efforts of not. Too often, we give up on our partner way too soon. Instead of fixing problems, we avoid them. If you are not making enough effort in your relationship, then you might be drifting apart already.

There is an evident communication gap

Sometimes, we can just sense the tension in our relationship. This strange feeling that you are having can only be resolved by having a thoughtful discussion with your partner. There might be different reasons for causing a communication gap in your relationship.

While it is important to have your individual space, it doesn’t mean that you should not communicate with your partner. This is one of the major signs of growing apart in a relationship. The two of you have different goals in life, disagree on way too many things, and are not willing to communicate with each other to resolve a conflict.

You no longer find them attractive

Okay – this might sound a bit harsh, but there are times when we no longer find our partner attractive enough. This can gradually start when we begin to focus on their flaws or a habit that we dislike. With time, we overlook the good in them and what we used to find attractive at first. Instead, we focus on their flaws, which overshadow their raw charm. Needless to say, if you no longer find your partner attractive, then you might take a step back in your relationship on your own.

You don’t disagree or fight anymore

As surprising as it might sound, it is quite important to fight and disagree with your partner every once in a while. Having constructive disagreements and discussions are signs of a healthy relationship. It shows that you are ready to fight for the mutual goals and wants to fix your relationship. Sadly, when we start growing apart in a relationship, we no longer make an effort to fix it. If you and your partner haven’t fought in a while, then you should certainly be alarmed.

You make plans on your own

When we begin to drift away from our partner, we no longer do the same old things that we used to love before. For instance, you no longer wait for them to binge a series on Netflix or make dinner plans together. Instead, you focus on meeting your individual requirements first. You plan on going a solo trip and start treating yourself every now and then. The thought of including your partner in your everyday plans simply takes a back seat.

You feel happier alone

Even if you are irrevocably in love with your partner, you should maintain some space. Otherwise, their presence might start suffocating you and you would crave for some “me” time. If the same thing is happening in your relationship, then chances are that you might start feeling happier alone. Instead of being with your partner, you crave for your personal space and at times would wish to escape from the world that you have built around you.

You find reasons to avoid them

This is one of the most obvious signs of growing apart in a relationship. Instead of planning a romantic getaway with them or coming home early, you stay back at work or go out with your friends instead. While skipping a few plans every once in a while doesn’t hurt anyone, but if you would make it a habit, then it can be catastrophic for your relationship.

There is little or no emotional connect

At the end of the day, it is all about how much emotionally connected are you with your partner. If you can’t feel their pain, longing, or the sense of passion they have for you, then it can be a troubling sign. You have started doing things to hurt them intentionally and no longer feel an eternal connection with them.

You have started making future plans individually

If you want to know whether you two are growing apart in a relationship, then do this simple exercise. Close your eyes and imagine how the next few years of your life will be. If you don’t see your partner being an evident part of your life, then you should certainly consider it as an alarming sign.

Too often, we start making future plans related to our career and personal growth and forget including our partner in it. This indicates that deep within you have already started to part ways from your significant other.

How to fix it?

If you think that you two are drifting apart in a relationship and that it should be saved, then you need to take some needed steps. I would recommend the following ways to fix the unwanted glitch in your relationship and replenish your affection.

Be honest

This is the golden rule in every relationship. Start by being honest with your partner and let them know what is going on in your mind. Don’t lie just to avoid an argument. Be honest and don’t let your partner feel as if they are being deceived.

Try to identify the problem

The two of you need to understand that instead of fighting each other, you need to address the problem. Every relationship has different issues that need to be dealt with in due time. Start by identifying the issue and gradually make a plan to fix it.

Spend more time with each other

When we start to drift apart in a relationship, we spend less time with our partner. This can further widen the communication gap between the two of you. Therefore, you should spend some quality time with your partner and try to attain the lost chemistry in your relationship.

Do new things more often

Let’s be honest. We all get tired and even bored by doing the same things every day with our significant other. Spark things a bit by trying new things in the bed, go on an unexpected weekend getaway, get a pet, join a couple’s dance class, and do more exciting things in your relationship. Not only will it ignite the spark in your relationship again, but it will also help you know your partner even more.

Prioritize!

At the end of the day, it is all about how you prioritize your relationship. If you will choose work over your partner all the time, then your relationship will always take a back seat in your life. There is nothing wrong with missing a few deadlines or not attending an important meeting. You are never going to remember the time you spent overworking in your cubicle, but the moments spent with your loved ones will always be a cherished memory.

Take a walk down the memory lane

Sometimes, in order to fall in love with your significant other all over again, you need to take a walk down the memory lane. Remember how you met them the first time and what you felt when you made all those everlasting memories with them. Visit the same places again and try to recreate those moments.

Don’t play the blame game

Too often, we blame our partner or the situation for causing a dent in our relationship. Instead of playing the blame game, focus on resolving the issue. Forgive your partner and yourself for everything that has been done in the past and focus on creating a better tomorrow for the two of you.

Get help from a professional

Most importantly, if you want to mend your troubled relationship, then consider getting help from a professional. There are several counselors that can help you identify the problem in your relationship and work on the communication gap. You can also practice various trust-building exercises and activities as well in order to strengthen your bond.

Now when you know how to identify the signs of drifting apart in a relationship, you can certainly know where the two of you stand. Furthermore, you can also implement the above-mentioned suggestions to work on your relationship. Just think of the long run. This could be just a small glitch along the way. The two of you can easily overcome it and rekindle the spark to have a lasting relationship.

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

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