Managing a nagging wife is sure not easy! However, believing that the most adorable girl in your life would never turn into a nag-ster is a gross misconception most men happily carry in the early days of their wedlock. The transition from the initial role of a girlfriend/newly wedded woman to a ‘full time, living together and home-sharing’ wife can be gruesome for you. Alas, the ‘oh-so-romantic and picture-perfect-life imagining’ men realize this a bit too late! Nonetheless, it is what most relationships end up being after the couple spends some days/weeks/months together. But it happens only if the partners do not fine tune their mental and psychological frequencies in the early stages of the most important and responsible relationship of their life.
As Joan Williams believes and states in her book, ‘Unbending Gender,’ women are born with a more accommodating instinct than men. Well, yes. May be. But this isn’t a golden rule that you can fall back on when it comes to dealing with your (by now) nagging wife. She may not start cribbing and complaining on her very first day at your place, but you too need to be receptive to the things that might not please her very much.
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If not a raised voice, an initial (and usually unnoticed) raised eyebrow on her face should be just enough to bring you to the realization that something, somewhere, requires a tweak. Just a tweak is enough, because it is the INTENT to change (not the change, itself) that usually matters to your otherwise complaining wife. What goes without saying is that you need to be an intelligent and adapting husband than the usually smart and analytical man that you are. This can be one of the best ways to keep her from reaching an extreme stage of verbal ‘dissatisfaction.’
At the end of the day, you love her and her nagging is only one of the unwanted by-products of her love for you. Annoying as it is, it needs to be dealt with very carefully. If your attempts to avoid such a situation have not been fruitful enough, you need to learn to handle such situations. Especially when not just the number but the frequency of complaints from your partner has been rising alarmingly.
Shouting back will NEVER help
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Screaming back, not controlling your temper and getting mad at her is only going to make a bad situation worse. Look for the reason behind her behavior. Women are often thought to be irrational; nevertheless, if you pay just enough attention and if you are just observant enough, you would be able to figure out the underlying reasons for most of her nags.
Is nagging a part of who she is?
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Cribbing is the right of a wife. Every wife gets to nag. However, if things are going out of proportion and you find your wife is ALWAYS complaining, there might be a problem. You can try to talk to her family and close friends, and try to find out if she was the same way before you got married. This would not only help you understand her better, but would also help and encourage you to take the necessary steps – counselling, maybe – to help her come out of this predicament.
Let the storm pass
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Talk to your wife about the issue that persists between you two. But talk when she has calmed down. Talking in the heat of the moment will get you only negative reactions unless you can actually soothe her and give her the opportunity to vent out constructively. At the same time, make it a point to communicate what you feel about the things she complains about. Give her your side of the story to help her understand you better. Avoiding the issue then and letting it fester would only make it pile up one on top of another to finally end up becoming a mountain of problems for the future.
A nagging wife is no good sight, but you can surely make things work in a way that can help her communicate with you without using the taunts and rather help her be a support to you.
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