Well, your relationship just had its fairy tale ending, and finally you have got no reason to doubt the ‘happily ever after’. You had been planning for your wedding for a really long time, and now that your wait is finally over, you must be really excited to lead a new life, away from the spinsterhood you once enjoyed and loathed at the same time. You are just back from your fun and love-filled honeymoon, and it was one of the best times of your life. Life has just taken a new, exciting turn for you. So, if we had to describe what you are feeling right now in just one word, what would it be? Happy? Excited? No??
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Are you feeling melancholic and anxious? All this anxiety and melancholy would lead people to believe that you didn’t marry the love of your life but lost him. Well, it is nothing unnatural. In fact, it is similar to a tumultuous break up. You were so caught up in making plans for your wedding that now when it is finally over, you feel nostalgic and sad. You are no longer ‘the bride,’ and you have had your share of attention, and now you miss it dreadfully. But don’t worry, post wedding blues are normal and would go away with a little bit of care.
First of all, don’t fret and fume over the fact that your wedding day is over. As clichéd as it might sound, your married life is really a new beginning for you, and you can make it as exciting or as dreary as you want it to be. So here are a few ways which would help you get over your post-wedding blues easily.
1. Get involved: Find a new passion such as horse riding, painting, cooking, or kick boxing, and totally devote your heart and soul into it. You just had a breakup with your wedding, so it’s important that you devote your heart and soul totally into another activity that interests you. Strive for a black belt or organize a painting exhibition, but do something with total dedication. This will help you get over your post wedding blues, as it will help keep your mind and body occupied and prevent you from thinking unnecessarily gloomy things. Also, if you excel at something that totally was not your forte, it will also help you gain that attention you have been craving for! To ensure that you don’t sit idle and gloomy after your honeymoon phase is over, it is better to book these classes in advance.
2. Indulge in the couple things: So now that you two are no longer in the dating stage, you should go ahead and plan new things for yourself that you can do together. These should be the kind of things you didn’t do when you were engaged. You can play tennis together or go for a healthy jog at the commons.
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You can decide on specific days for both of you to try out a new thing together and then stick to the schedule. You can pick up a day to watch a new play or a movie together, and then go out for wine and dinner. But, do something new, just the two of you! It will help keep the love alive.
3. Find a group of recently married women and meet them: Search for recently married women on internet chat rooms and social media websites, and try to get in touch with them. Arrange for a meet up over a coffee followed by a discussion on the anxiety that follows a wedding. It is highly probable that they too are going through the same phase as you, and a group chat will help all of you overcome the problem collectively.
4. Hold on to your identity, it is what characterizes you as an individual: Most brides feel suffocated after a wedding as they try to fit themselves into a lifestyle that might not be right for them. Being married doesn’t and shouldn’t strip you of who you are as a person, personally as well as professionally.
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Yes, you and your husband are now in a partnership, two bodies and one soul and all that, but don’t forget that you both fell in love with each other’s individual selves. So losing your identity and your individuality wouldn’t do well for the both of you. If you rocked gigs and concerts every weekend or busied yourself over gooey little things, don’t change it now because you are a ‘married woman’.
5. Meditate: Yes, meditation helps in dealing with unwanted stress and it helps you free your mind. You have had so much to focus on for the past several months planning the wedding, and you think you don’t have anything to look forward to now?
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Let it go, and accept this change with happiness and positivity. Go for silent retreats in the nearby countryside, and spend your time in the vicinity of nature, meditating. Yoga is also a great way to free your body and mind of stress, and enter into a relaxed spiritual state.
6. Don’t go down the rabbit hole of ‘what ifs’: When you find yourself at someone’s wedding, don’t keep thinking, ‘Oh I wish we’d have done that,’ or ‘If only my dress was better.’ Trust me, it will screw your mind even more. You made the decisions for your wedding because they were right for you and suited you guys at that stage in your lives. Thinking of ‘what ifs’ will get you nowhere. You have had your day in the sun, now enjoy the next stage in your life – being married. How does it matter if someone had a bigger wedding cake than yours? It doesn’t.
Remember that you got married to be married and not to plan a wedding, so just get over that unnecessary tension. Your wedding was a big, fabulous party, where you made a decision to spend your entire life with someone you love, and now you should try your level best to make life a remarkable experience for both of you. Don’t let those quintessential married stereotypes bother you. Keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Have weekly/monthly date nights, spend a few hours on the sofa in the evening just talking to each other, laugh often, go on picnics, take a walk together, go shopping as a couple, decorate, cook and so on. Planning an awesome wedding is truly amazing, but you know what’s the best? Being married is the best!
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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