Cinderella Or Tinderella: How Tinder Has Ruined Dating Forever

by Sejal Parikh · August 13, 2015

“I call it the Dating Apocalypse,” says Jennifer. And boy, is she right.

When the idea of using one’s mobile phones as an all-day, every-day, handheld device for ‘ease’ in life was extended to dating brought at your fingertips, the world had an inkling that something was intrinsically wrong about the concept. And yet, the entire world took to mobile dating – especially Tinder dating app and its cohorts – simply for ‘trying’ the damn thing. But you see, curiosity kills the cat. And the psychopath is out on a murder spree.

Image source: Tinder

Suggested read: Tips to avoid bad experiences in online dating

You see not only did Tinder dating app and its progeny gift the world restless nights of eyes shot from being glued to countless pictures of t*ts and tats, and fingers swollen and screaming in rebellion from overuse in swiping, but also morphed the world denizens into Tinder adrenaline junkies. By bringing dating to one’s fingertips, they made the entire process of meeting someone, taking the ‘hi’ dive, going from the initial butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling to a whole-freaking-zoo dancing about your insides reductive under the garb of easy access. By selling their service under the seemingly ‘noble’ intent of bringing ‘potential partners’ together – coz well, the ‘dating is hard’ dictum is REAL – they have reduced an entire love-tale to a matter of a few swipes, texts, and perhaps, a night of steamy or equally obnoxious sex! And ding, you never see each other again!

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

My problem with the ‘noble’ act of offering people on swipe – the act of reducing people to a ‘picture’ that can be gauged ‘date-worthy’ or ‘not so much’ with the flick of a finger! Seems like shopping for people to me! There is no ‘first meeting,’ the ‘first spark,’ or even a connection forged on real attributes but an insta-validation of one’s attractiveness level (coz someone likes what they see – perhaps, washboard abs and a pretty cleavage) and a few condensed texts that bounce off some cursory information before the ‘matched’ partners fix a meeting. Where would the meeting end – I leave on you intelligent folks to decide. After all, the REAL deal is perhaps, merrily skipped or worse, ‘aborted’ on purpose.

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

This, then, births a mindless culture of addiction to our ‘life-made-easy’ devices where swipe left, left, left, left, right, left, left has become an endless game of insta-judgments to decide upon dates! Ugh… And while a lot of my reasoning might seem like a ranting diatribe that is needless and unwarranted for something that seems to have brought quite some people together in love – the success rate is dismal.

According to Aaron Smith, a senior researcher at the Pew Research Center and expert in the growing impact of mobile technologies, 5 percent of Americans who are currently married or in long term partnerships met their partners somewhere online. Only 5 percent are in successful relationships and let’s not forget the fact one in five adults have used online dating. This, then, brings me to the real monster lurking underneath the whole façade of ‘aiding you in the pursuit of love’ – the hookup culture. If anything, Tinder dating app and its several siblings have only made hooking up easier than ever before. Not many have a problem drinking and peering into their screens for some swiping on the faces of strangers so that they can blow off some steam after a wonky work day with one of the lot who will ‘do it’ later in the night!

And if you thought that was the worst – ouch. Sorry.

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

This ease-of-access via online dating not only propagates a vicious culture of hooking up but also creates deeper problems that one might not be able to see in the adrenaline rush of mindless swiping… err… shopping! Contrary to the popular perception of dating on Tinder liberalizing dating from the old shackles that have held it captive, thereby making it more free and fabulous for both men and women, the real picture is painted in a slightly different hue. It is precisely in the ‘freedom’ that Tinder and its kin offer to men and women today that the paradox lies. As the ‘options’ to swipe (shop?) from increase, men tend to over-evaluate their capacity to rack up girls they’ve slept with and add notches to their belt, while women, on being disappointed with the ‘treatment’ they receive when they are out on ‘real’ dates with their Tinder partners, begin to devaluate themselves. After all, how can it be otherwise when men can easily get two or three Tinder dates a week with a likely chance of getting laid with all of them while women expect that these very men would begin to ‘care’ a little more after they have gone all the way to light the flame they sparked in the Tinder chat room!

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Of course, there are people who are on Tinder simply for casual sex. But that kind of life comes with an expiration date – unless of course, you amass countless wads of green with age and move to the ‘luxe’ relatives of Tinder dating app like SugarDaddy! Ugghh… I could puke! And if the ‘trash’ that online dating has become still seems stink-free to your nostrils, check out what a number of women users have to say about dating on Tinder:

“I feel it’s rare now to meet someone who will treat me as a priority when he knows he has endless options out there.” – Anna, 27

“I think it isn’t that ‘dating is hard’ has been replaced by ‘dating becomes easy.’ I think it’s ‘mating becomes easy.” – Sarah, 25

“I think the most glaring and surprisingly non-discernible effect has been the impact on psychology and emotional lives. Men no longer feel the need to commit and are shifting to a short-term mating strategy while women are forced to comply if they want to date/mate at all. And while this may be seemingly OK to contend with when you are in college or launching your career, the long-term effects of the socio-cultural shift are disastrous.” – Jennifer, 31

“On the surface, the whole Tinder dating process may seem liberating but if you care to look beneath the iceberg, men already know there are more fish in the ocean and women hardly have a choice but to either play along with the ‘casual’ streak or make do with being a ‘single, old prude.’ Men still have the upper hand and the ‘girlfriend material-hookup material’ double standard still stands – in a new Tinder-esque format.” – Lauren, 36

“Tinder is p**sy affluenza. The only men that seem date-able end up on my block list because their messages are ‘wanna f**k?’ or ‘come, sit on my face.’ It’s a mad-house!” –Rachel, 33

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

“Tinder… <laughs uncontrollably> Yeah, the hit-it-and-quit-it app. I am familiar with that. I quit it before it became an exclusive boom, boom, boom, go swipe thing!” – Monica, 31

“I quit Tinder after they turned ageist. I mean, just because the younger lot is scraping about to mate with pocket money does not mean I started crapping green as soon as I added one more candle to my birthday cake. Damn, I am done.” – Annie, 31

“I have to educate my mind to a whole corpus of new dating rules. And I am learning them the hard way.” – Lisa, 29

“Yeah, am having fun alright. But there’s no dating, no relationships- just flings!” – Tara, 20

“Yeah, I collect Tinder food stamps. It’s just a swipe-and-get-free-meals thingy for me.” – Nancy, 27

“It’s available, it’s easy, and it’s throwing commitment right off the waters.” – Amanda, 28

“It’s like free food on a platter. People are gorging.” – Jess, 24

We agree. We think, for all the addicts Tinder keeps adding to its club, it is merely swiping romance left – permanently. And if that’s what you fancy, we feel sorry!

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

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