Does social media help or hamper relationships? This is a debate that can go on forever. No one will go downright for it, nor will they admit that it is encroaching upon their personal space. The truth is that, social media has become an essential part of our lives. And now and then, men make all sorts of errors on the internet that baffle and madden their lady loves, without having any idea about it!
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Social media is what you make of it. Do you really use social media to keep in touch and share what’s on your mind, or are you trying to create a virtual image of yourself that has nothing to do with reality? Face it, you may be creating a sort of alter ego that you secretly want to be but have not yet become.Worse, there is the tempting tendency to ‘stalk’ others. It breeds jealousy and as such, is extremely negative, the scariest bargain being the disappearance of the thin line between the public and the private. When you share your assumed coupley happiness with the world, are you looking for an authentication of how loved you are, or are you trying to feed the green-eyed monster in your frenemies?
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If all this sounds familiar, don’t worry. We have got you covered and will lend you a hand to clean this mess, and help you NOT be an annoying boyfriend on social media!
1. Thou doth post too much!
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This boyfriend believes that he is the axis around which the world rotates. His posts are revelations, and without them the universe won’t function. He can’t stop bragging of his ‘accomplishments’ – from the bowl of cornflakes to the cigarette he smokes to the new sneakers he bought (don’t forget the price tag!), everything is up for grabs. In this new age philosophy of oversharing and status updates and hashtags and snapchats, he treats the social media as a personal diary, but the only catch, my friend, is that it is not ‘personal’.
If this is you, we suggest you take a few days off the net and experience reality. Don’t worry – your friends and girlfriend will survive if you stop reporting what you ate for breakfast! (We advise that you call her up instead!)
2. He’s got them *feels*
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An overly sentimental boyfriend is a relationship hazard on or off social media, but in the former situation, the matter becomes worse as all his feelings are up for the public to view and scrutinize. After a fight, he constantly posts passive aggressive rants about how hurtful relationships are, how he is dying inside, how he trusted in something as wretched as love! And his sentimentality doesn’t end with you.
Romeo, we suggest that you log off from your social media accounts whenever you are too upset, elated, angry, or even pleased with how wonderful the world is. If you have no control over your emotions, at least don’t make a public display of your passions! (You also need a psychiatrist for the offline part of the problem.)
3. The poli’tick’al Twitterati
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This is a general trend among annoying boyfriends who consider themselves your newsfeed on all the gruesome happenings around the globe. They have to post their almost-psycho political rants on social media. You know which kind I’m talking about – the ones you immediately scroll over. Next!
If you are the one at fault here, we advise that you put effort into changing the public image of an attention-seeker that you have created for yourself. Stop coming across as this aggressive young man who is angry about everything around him – the functioning of the government, the trouble in the economy, the teenagers becoming useless, and so on! If not, you are sure to drive her away sooner than later.
4. Mind your ‘slanguage’
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He cannot write one complete sentence without swearing thrice. He uses slang to refer to people, situations, feelings, anything and everything. Though he might find it cool, it looks extremely pretentious and is a complete no-no.
We advise that you stop using them not just because your girlfriend disapproves, but more so because these posts can destroy your public impression online, which might come back to bite you while job hunting. Social media has more to it than you think it does!
5. Aesop’s dog and its reflection
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A certain species of man takes more selfies and mirror pictures than any girls around. He is a gym rat and loves sharing his half nude gym takes. He has a selfie for every occasion, and even without one he posts a photo, just because. To top it all off, he tries to don a ‘What up? We are cool dudes’ look in groupfies with his other psychopath guy friends.
We suggest that you stop being your own favorite person. No one cares about you being bored or jobless or hungry! But if you cannot do the impossible, click some of these selfies with your girlfriend. The world will still hate you but the good news is, at least your love life will not be at risk anymore! 😉
6. ‘Untag’ to tag along
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He is an aspiring photographer and is constantly taking photos of his darling. Women love being photographed and enjoy the attention they get from the camera-toting boyfriend, for sure. All is well and good until he puts up all the unflattering takes of her for the world to see, despite her condemnation. He goes a step ahead and even captions the album as ‘My beautiful princess’!
Nobody, man or woman, likes being tagged in their ugly photos. Put some sense in your own head before your girlfriend blocks you on social media just to save herself.
Suggested read: 8 tips to use Facebook appropriately while dating someone
7. The theory of ‘relative-ity’
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This boyfriend puts up intimate pictures out in the public domain. What he doesn’t recognize, or selectively chooses to ignore, is that his girlfriend has relatives connected on social media who would much prefer not to see any online PDA. Worse, he shuns her reservations and blames her for not wanting to make the relationship public.
Learn to respect your girlfriend and her family. You need some serious ironing out if you want to keep your relactionship intact.
8. “They were the footprints of a gigantic hound!”
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For some reason or another, some boyfriends prefer to throw on a Sherlock Holmes cap on social media. They keep an account of everything their girlfriends post – their check-ins, the people they tag, the people they become friends with, etc., They coerce their loved ones to provide password access, and upon resistance, accuse them of cheating.
You have a problem. If there is no way you will change your ways, we would suggest that your girlfriend find someone else instead. Stop being an annoying boyfriend already!
9. Ghosts until he posts
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Some poor girlfriends have no idea where their boyfriends are or what their plans for the day are until they post a check-in or a tweet on social media. These tormented souls have to keep a track of their darlings’ online footprints instead of actually hearing about it from the horse’s mouth. A woman is never patient when it comes to a boyfriend who does not communicate his feelings or his whereabouts with her. This anxiety is too much for any woman to swallow!
Sharing details about your life with her makes her feel like a part of your inner circle. You have to at least do this much to make her consider herself special and important to you. Keeping your girlfriend in the dark is not a very good idea because she may read it as being cold and isolating. Make her feel close.
10. He ‘likes’ her, he ‘likes’ me not!
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It is a pathetic state of affairs for a girlfriend when she finds that her guy voraciously ‘likes’ the pictures and posts of other people, particularly those of the fairer sex, but quite conveniently avoids her own. This is especially when it comes to the selfies of other women, where you, like a huntsman, are the first one to post “Pretty!” How insulting is that?
If you are just doing this to get her attention, then it’s harmless and even romantic because a little jealousy has always been a turn on for women. But we advise that you try to keep this within limits, because they can boomerang and unexpectedly take her away from you faster than you can click on that little thumb!
11. “Seek and ye shall find”
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A boyfriend who has not gotten over his ex can be a big time annoyance. He either likes all his ex’s pictures and posts, or is constantly stalking her and her new boyfriend. He even chats with his ex’s best friends just to keep track of her whereabouts, and also whether to find out if she ‘still has feelings’ for him. He is completely oblivious to the concept of moving on!
If you are still stuck in your past, it can be disastrous to your new relationship. This is an issue that is much larger than social media.
12. Don’t update.
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The toughest ordeal when it comes to social media is that it completely blurs the fine line between the public and the private. Life is in the tiny details that can only be enjoyed when you live in the moment. In your haste to capture the décor of the fine dining, the champagne that just popped, and the food that was served, you missed your girlfriend’s reaction to them: that twinkle in her eye when all these special things you arranged for her surprised her, for once! You missed a significant moment, my friend, a moment which once gone is gone forever.
Suggested read: 3 reasons why Facebook might be killing your relationship
Whatever happened to the virtue of leaving some things unsaid? Why do you feel this insatiable compulsion to post everything about your relationship on social media? Just because you don’t share precious moments with the world does not mean that they are not ‘real.’ Experience them with the people who actually matter. For heaven’s sake, quit your annoying boyfriend routine and just BE there for her!
The most important thing in any relationship is being able to give time to your significant other. If social media helps you communicate and stay connected with your better half, all’s well and good; but if it is becoming a third wheel between the two of you, you should take the same steps you would have taken if social media were a person!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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