How do you know if he/she is ‘the ONE?’ Most people I know answer this question with a simple, ‘You just know.’
How??? I ask.
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For a long time, I believed that there is but one ‘the one’ for each of us. However, life is a teacher who never fails to wipe out my wrong notions and enlighten me. I have learnt that for each of us, there are a number of ‘ones’ out there, ready to make us want to fall for them. We encounter each of these ‘ones’ along the grand feast of tasting life’s pleasures and do well to take a good succulent bite of each. Whether or not we spend our lives with them is a different issue altogether. But we meet them each, living, laughing away, and loving the moments spent, only to take a part of them with us in our hearts, forever.
Suggested read: Signs to tell if HE is your soul mate
Among these handful of souls is someone we make a choice of living ‘the rest of our lives’ with. But how exactly does one know if we are making the right choice? After all, each of these souls is someone we feel an undeniably powerful connection with. Each of these is someone we can dance away all our troubles with, whose souls play a piece only we can hear, who are breathing, talking, walking reminders of a REAL possibility of love in this big, wide, massive world, full of people!! And the answer is simple – we go deep with one of these ‘ones’ by choice. By learning to decipher those ‘the one’ flags that we need to see before we make a decision.
Suggested read: Signs to tell if SHE is your soul mate
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Now, these flags aren’t the ones you’d discover by taking those quizzes splattered on every second web page, reading the dozens of articles written on the subject every month, answering questions of therapists, devouring the self-help sections in libraries and bookstores or even seeking counsel from experts who suggest that a negative answer to any of their ‘definite signs’ implies you are in the wrong relationship. These are detours that shall only detract you from finding the REAL.
The only ‘flags’ that you need to find before you give yourself away to ‘the one’ from among the ones you’ve met are:
1. Love
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The most important question you need to have an answer in the affirmative for is this – Do you love the person? Does he/she love you? And by love, I don’t mean ‘yeah-we’re-completely-compatible, we-get-along, she-is-hot, he-is-smart’ kind of love. I mean the ‘I-would-do-anything-and-everything-for-him/her-without-exceptions’ kind of love. If a green light blinks for the answer to whether such love really exists betwixt you two, you are already halfway there.
2. Happiness in togetherness
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I always say that happiness is not only about the smiles you share together, it is not only about the laughter that resounds far and wide when you have your own personal jokes – it is the smile that your heart wears even when you aren’t together. If that is the sense of belonging you’ve found, the relationship is ‘the one.’ If you can be completely yourself around him/her, feel at home with them, feel like they know you much more than you do yourself, share a tacit understanding with them and most importantly, never ever have an iota of doubt/fear about a ‘happy future’ with them, he/she is the one for you. If you are happy and your relationship only exhorts you to be a better version of an even ‘happier you,’ you belong together. The only parameter here is: They shouldn’t be someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, they should be ‘the one’ you cannot spend the rest of your life without. <blush blush>
A thousand other questions/criteria/checklists can follow from these – but these are the only markers you need. The rest is all secondary. If a resounding ‘YES’ is the answer to the questions inherent in all that I have asked you to gauge, you know you are lucky in love. J
So, keep it simple folks – this is all one needs!! J
Happy loving!! J
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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