We can all agree that love is a great feeling. It is all butterflies and rainbows and happiness and caring for a whole other human being and having someone to cuddle at night. While love may feel the same for men and women, the way love happens for men is very different from the way that is happens for women.
Suggested read: Best Love Poems For Him And Her
Unfortunately, since men have been forever portrayed as unfeeling, insensitive creatures incapable of emotion, we don’t know much about the way men feel about love. In fact, how do men fall in love? is the same way that women fall in love? Hell no! The reasons they fall in love, the stages that finally bring them to the realization that they are, in fact, in love, and how they express is a whole other scientific process that I am going to be telling you about today.
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So, how do men fall in love? Here is everything you need to know.
The Reasons Why Men Fall In Love
We have all dissected and researched how people fall in love and what they do when they are in love. However, I have always wondered why people haven’t asked this precise question- “why?” why do people fall in love? What is it about love that seems to be the centrifugal energy, the driving force in people’s lives? What about love is so exciting that it has the potential to change lives forever?
I consulted a bunch of research material (yes, material on why people fall in love does exist), and I found out that there are actually science-backed reasons which justify why people crave the feeling of love. While men and women are wired differently, the fundamental sentiment is pretty much the same. Here are a few common reasons.
- To feel a sense of belonging
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There is no denying that we are all craving company. It is impossible to be alone with yourself and you thoughts for longs periods of time, unless you are a sociopath. Love makes you feel like you belong to someone, that there is someone out there who cares exclusively about you, and you start to feel a sense of belonging, which dispels things like depression, loneliness, and other psychological issues.
- Love gives you a sense of purpose
One of the reasons why people seek love is because it gives you purpose and direction in love. not only do you get to work for someone, but you have a partner that you can work towards common goals with. Also, the whole notion of growing together and learning from your partner and building a life together, all of it comes together to create a subconscious craving for love.
- You feel important
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Believe it or not, we are all selfish beings. We are all out there, waiting to feel good about ourselves, and trying to find someone who will make us feel that way. That is one of the reasons why people, especially men, create love. Everyone is an ego-driven being, and when have someone who truly loves you and does things for you, you feel important and wanted and valued, and that is always a good feeling.
- Love allows people a space where they can be themselves
In a world which is compelling you to be a certain way, whether you are like that or not, is actually a lot of pressure. For people who have trouble expressing themselves candidly in public, they search for a private space where they can be themselves without being judges or without feeling self conscious. This space is usually found when you are in love with a person and they are in love with you, so much so that they love you in all their weirdness and idiosyncrasies, so that you don’t have to pretend to be someone else for the sake of normalcy.
Suggested read: 15 Crazy Yet Honest Signs You’re Falling In Love With Your Special Someone
The Stages of Falling in Love
Now that we have a rough idea on why people fall in love in the first place, let us check out the various stages that men go through when they are falling in love.
Stage 1: Surface love
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This is the first stage of falling in love, when men are smitten with the way a person looks. Men are very sensual creatures- they perceive the world with the five senses of their body first, and they tend to delve deeper into things like personality and perception.
Therefore stage 1 is all about appreciating the way a person looks, appreciating their physical attributes and noticing the smaller things about their appearance like their smile or their eyes or the shape of their hands.
Stage 2: Infatuation
Everyone checks out everyone. Men check out women every day, and women check out men as well. However, these are just surface level appreciation which you feel when you see an attractive person on the street or at work or somewhere else. Stage 2 however, occurs when a man starts to get infatuated with a person.
This is when they start singling out one person from the crowd. The rate at which they check out other people also reduces drastically, and they seek out one person over and over again.
Stage 3: Impressing
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A lot of what men do is very physical in nature. Even when they start falling in love with a person, their first instinct is to impress that person, so that they notice them as well. Even though everyone knows for sure that even when a man is trying to impress someone, he isn’t doing it because he necessarily loves them.
Even now, love is not part of the equation. They are merely acting on instinct to show the other person that they might be interested in them, and doing things that might get them noticed in turn.
Stage 4: Reciprocation
Even before men actually fall in love, and come to terms with the idea themselves, they tend to think of how the other party is reacting to their advances. For example, if a man has made it through the preceding 3 stages, then by this point, he might be starting to fall in love with the person of their pursuit. They know for sure that there is no one else they want at the moment, and do everything in their power to show them that they are attracted to them.
However, even now, men will not ask themselves whether this is love. they will look for reciprocation. They will look for cues from the other party which will indicate that they too are falling in love with them.
Stage 5: Realization
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Once a man makes it through these 4 steps, it is finally time to think. There is no denying, that when it comes to matters of the heart, men tend to do things more impulsively than women do. While a woman would start weighing the pros and cons of a relationship with a certain person from step 1, it is in the fifth stage that man would take a step back and think about what a relationship or a romantic connection with the person would entail.
They stop their pursuit, and take time out to think about the next step.
Suggested read: 14 Unmistakable Symptoms Of Falling In Love You Never Stopped To Think About
Stage 6: Expression of love
This is the last, final and penultimate stage of men falling in love, where they include the object of their affections, and start displaying the signs of actual love, instead of just the impulsive actions of an infatuation. This is the stage when you might get to see some of the more serious signs that he is in love with you, if he hasn’t told that to you already. For example, here are a few things that he might do, in order to express that he has fallen in love with you:
-he starts respecting you and defending you in front of other people
-he has started introducing you to his close friends and family
-he thinks about you and does thoughtful things for you, even when you are not together
-he trusts you enough to be himself around you
-there is constant and uninterrupted conversation between the two of you
-he uses the pronoun “we” more than he says “I”
These are only some of the indicators that he is in love with you. If you were wondering how do men fall in love, I hope this guide cleared some of the confusion in the air. Men are not as simple and uncomplicated and prosaic as people think they are. They are as complicated as women, albeit their thought process is a little different. They have their own ways of falling in love, and their own ways in which they express affection that they feel towards another person.
Let us know in the comments section below, what are the points that you agree with, and which ones you think are completely untrue. Are men really secretly super emotional, or do they actually wear their hearts on their sleeves?
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