Marry someone who
1. Knows how to make you smile, but more so wants to make you smile
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There’s nothing more sweeter than a guy who wraps you up in his arms, and tickles you or whispers a joke that has you in splits. Sometimes, his funny bone makes you pee your pants too. If you are with a guy, who makes you laugh because he loves your laughter, he is certainly one to hold on to.
2. Edifies, builds, and encourages you for better
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A companion who not only shares in your dreams, passions, and goals but encourages you to strive to attain them whilst helping you pick out the lessons in each failure is God’s gift to you. Take him, in sickness and in health – until death doth part you.
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3. Knows how to apologize when he/she is wrong and sometimes, even when he/she isn’t
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Get married to a person who values you more than the argument. Coz letting go of your side of the rope when you know that tugging hard at it is only going to make your own partner lose, isn’t quite a win either. So, if you find someone who loses just to have you win – coz that’s a win-win for him, go, get married. You wouldn’t find a stronger reason to!
4. Loves you for who you are but makes you want to be a better person
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If he loves you for who you are, being with him brings out the best in you, and the feeling exhorts you to be even better, then I have only two words for you – get married! There are no stronger reasons to get married than to find someone who accepts you for who you are but makes you want to be a better version for yourself – and him!
5. Knows to suffer well
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What, this isn’t a marriage joke. Suffering is a guaranteed part of life – but not everyone suffers well. Some cope with denial, some with despair but very few have the grace to suffer well. The question here is who do you want to hold your hand when the test says ‘Cancer’? Whose shoulder do you want to lean on and cry when the doctor says ‘we’ve done all we can’? Whose eyes do you want to look into when your world turns upside down? It might not seem important but a quiet determination is as important as that beautiful smile. Get married to someone who shall wed your sorrows to love, grief to giving, and hurt to healing!
6. Can love you in actions and in words too
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There is hardly any way in which I can stress upon how li’l gestures like getting up to tend the crying baby whilst your swollen mommy feet deserve a rest or fixing the breakfast when you overslept after snoozing the alarm can make you feel loved. But most people think that acts of affirming love in life are enough. They undermine the importance of words in life. I am not saying words are all one needs – but the power of an ‘I love you’ that comes on no special occasion and a ‘thank you’ or ‘I am lucky I have you’ or any kind word or verbatim token of appreciation is undeniable and immensely overwhelming. When you get married to someone who does this, life will be a carnival of smiling tears! <blush>
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7. Trusts you and who you can trust
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One of the most important pillars of marriage is trust. Get married to someone who shall extend that hand to let you go dance with that handsome colleague whilst looking at you all through the dance to let you know his heart beats for you and not to hold you back. Find someone for whom you could do the same coz you are equally sure his heart is yours forever.
8. Is willing to communicate, even if it isn’t his/her strength
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Someone who is willing to go the extra mile for you, even when it is something that he/she conspicuously falters in – is a gem you shall do well to tuck away in the treasures of your heart forever!
9. Has the same idea of romance as you
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Whatever your personal definition of romance is, he shares in it and will go that extra step to make it happen. And when your ideas of romance are in sync, you can really tick off one of the ‘LOVE-ly’ reasons to get married from your checklist.
10. Is your best friend
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Marrying your best friend shall ensure that you can be doing absolutely nothing with him/her and it would still be EPIC. If you don’t enjoy grocery shopping with ‘the one’ you have chosen or cannot chat with them while doing laundry or whisking egg whites, you might not enjoy ‘doing’ marriage. Coz marriage, as I always say, is more about wonky Wednesdays and forgettable Fridays than magical Mondays. More than magical, Mondays and for that matter, moments, for the most part, shall be mundane. For example, if you are stuck in a traffic jam and have to wait for three hours just to jam on the accelerator again, you should be able to look at ‘the one’ in your passenger seat and think, “I would not want to be stuck here with anybody else.” If that is the friend you have found in ‘the one’ you want to choose, I’d say, ‘go ahead and choose him/her a thousand times over.’ It is only with such a friendship that mundane moments turn magical.
11. Wants to share every experience with you
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When something funny happens or he receives good news, he wants to share it with you first. Similarly a cheesy song on the radio or some love scene on the television- to a favorite on his lunch makes his thoughts travel to you faster than lightning. If that’s the man you have found and you feel the same way toward him, then envisioning a future which he is a seamless part of is a ‘green signal’ from me! Go, say ‘I do.’
12. Respects you and extends the same consideration, care, and thoughtfulness toward your friends and family
Enough said. No discounts to be levied on this one.
13. You don’t have to hide anything from, ever
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You cannot feel at home with someone unless you trust the person and get the same back. You never feel the need to keep secrets in the relationship and that is how you build and sustain those 50 years of togetherness! After all, worrying about hiding something for fifty years isn’t great fun!
14. You never get sick or bored of
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Talking to your partner should come as naturally as breathing. Easy conversations are the most invigorating and never seem to bore you. This keeps the relationship on healthy ground. If there is hesitation, awkward silence or a forced communication occurring, it wouldn’t be long before you exhaust all your ‘patience’ in the process.
Suggested read: A letter to the men I have loved before
15. Shares the same values as you
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This is very very important. Any disparity in values and principles may result in a clash that can create irreparable cracks. Check that at the door. Get married only when you can check off this reason and are sure in your head about when to get married. Building a healthy and happy marriage citadel from the foundational bricks of shared values and goals is as practical as it can get!
16. Knows how to agree to disagree
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A difference of opinion is inevitable in any marriage. But disagreements can be prevented from flaring into a fight. All one needs to do is discuss and respect each other’s points of view and ensure that one reaches an optimal solution. If this is a pattern that you have noticed in your relationship from the beginning, hey, you should be jumping with joy and say I want to get married! Go, walk down the aisle, matey!
17. You are emotionally intimate with
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Emotional intimacy affirms life through deep and all-enduring love. If all other forms of intimacy flow from this intimate connection and embody your ‘present’ happy and wholesome state of being, you know what to do!
18. Shall CHOOSE you through the difficult times too, and not take an exit
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True intimacy in marriage is being able to read one’s mind, heart, body, and soul – just like that. This can only happen when you ‘CHOOSE’ each other fully, moment by moment, day by day, month by month – stretching into a lifetime of togetherness – when there’s love and even, when you question if there’s any.
19. You cannot be without for the rest of your life, and who cannot be without you
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Isn’t that the most important one yet? (Okay, okay, the others are just as important – I know!) 
If you have found ‘the one’ who fits this bill, go … get married!
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