Blinded In Love Or In A Conscious Relationship: Find Out

by Sejal Parikh · October 6, 2015

Here’s the problem with each one of us:

We have been brought up on a customary diet of fairytales and therefore, expect that our love lives will be rounded off with that ultimate ‘happily-ever-after’ dessert.

But life does not come in neat, savory platters, does it?

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How many times has the bitter taste of being blinded in love left you feeling sour for months afterward?

How many times have you felt like you’d relished every bit of a person and knew him inside-out- only to realize that the person’s REAL nature made you want to throw up?

How many times have you felt cheated on by waiting too long for the slices of love and care- that didn’t taste nearly half the worth of the wait?

After years of binging on a myriad buffets of love-type emotions myself, I know exactly HOW to cross over from the station that gives you such misleading can’t-wait-to-have-spoonfuls-of-this-happily-ever-after feeling to the cozy home that shall have a loving partner whip me an omelet that tastes a zillion times better, because he LOVES me! <also, foot rubs> 😉

It’s true.

That’s the difference between blind love and a conscious relationship.

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Fact check 1: As a generation who has forgotten what it really means to love, we are constantly diving headlong into the deep waters of love-o-cean but do not have the know-how to swim through and return to the shore!

Simply put, we continue to fall in love, go through the whole butterflies-in-the-tummy phase and expect that this feeling shall carry through the relationship to its happily-ever-after.

And you know as well as I do- that doesn’t happen.

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Fact check 2: More and more people, today, are going through their fair (and unfair) share of broken relationships, and that is proof enough that somewhere, something is amiss about the way we make the journey of love.

The failure to cover the distance between blind love and a conscious relationship…

..the distance between a kiss that stole the ground beneath your feet and one that made the crying a li’l easier to do..

..the distance between making love when you know there’s no way on earth he’d ever resist it and making love when your body is a canvas painted on by a dozen stretch mark-brushes from the children you bore him..

..the distance between keeping your tears and fears to yourself lest someone leave you and crying your heart out to someone coz he’d know you are blue inside anyway..

..and here’s how you KNOW:

1. When your heart isn’t set on the destination, but the journey: When you are too intent making plans about the future, you forget to be present in the present. And soon, all the ‘love’ evaporates making the relationship feel hollow. However, when you are consciously trying to make things in the present BE the best version of what they can BE, you are inevitably paving the path to a better, brighter and happier future. A conscious couple knows this- and therefore, uses their bond as an enabling medium to grow- individually and collectively so as to keep their bond thriving.

2. When you own your baggage and check it in: Conscious couples know that we all have our baggage and that we’d either have to wheel it around or pick it up at the baggage claim. Either way, owning up to it, taking responsibility for it and having the patience and understanding to deal with it is crucial and helps make the relationship healing. Avoiding the past like the plague and showing an inability to deal with anything that triggers negative emotions from the past only scrapes the wounds further and ultimately, ends up infecting the whole relationship.

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3. When you don’t shy away from any custom checks your journey may need: The one thing that we lack in our relationships is radical honesty. Blind love does not allow any room to feel emotions that may cause the relationship to step on slippery ground- a conscious relationship, on the other hand, not only allows room to feel anything but also permits expression of those feelings (no matter what they are) so that even if it is edgy and not very easy, it challenges us to test the strength of our bond and how well we can stand the rigors of time and circumstance! Once a person feels free to be who he/she is, there is no way he/she’ll ever feel pressured to please- thereby, keeping the relationship healthy.

4. When you are willing to brave any rough terrain/weather/hurdle the journey may pop: When we fall in love, we experience a high that even the best cocaine samples fail to give. Our mistake is to expect to feel that ‘peak’ emotion all the time. A conscious couple understands that LOVE is an exploration- and in the several challenges of the journey lie the myriad stories they shall someday narrate to their grandchildren. After all, who likes plain go, stay, eat, sleep, come back sagas, right? On this rather twisted journey, there shall be tough climbs, rough falls, stormy weather, torrential downpours and even sunshine and rainbows. It all depends on how fiercely one is committed to forging ahead, hand-in-hand.

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These qualities shall elevate that warm, fuzzy feeling of love (in which you may be blinded to everything, including your partner and often-a-times, yourself) to that conscious bond of companionate LOVE that shall continue to take the tests of time and pass with flying colors!

Who knows, there might actually be a delicious ‘happily ever after’ dessert waiting at the end! Not that you NEED one- but who says no to dessert, right? 😉

Featured image source: Shutterstock

Summary