Shy people have a lot to deal with, considering our society is less forgiving towards them. Everyone expects you to be outgoing and social – in relationships, careers, with kids, etc., But the truth is that every one is born a certain way, and every personality has a place in this world.
Shy people probably have it toughest when it comes to seeking out new friendships or relationships. Making new connections can be anxiety-ridden even for regular people, so it is multiple times worse for those who are shy. To ease up the anxiety, we have some helpful tips on flirting for all the shy people out there.
1. Be prepared
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For any endeavor, preparation is essential, and if you’re shy, doubly so! Shy people find their shyness exacerbated due to stress, and a lot of this is because of being tongue-tied at the critical moment. If you’re know who you’re going to be with, find out a little more about them – some good-natured Facebook stalking will work here! By getting some basic information on their interests, you’ll have a better standing when it comes to carrying on a conversation. If you don’t know the person that well, read up on some general topics like movies or travel – but please stay away from the weather!
2. Be well-groomed
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This is phase 2 of being prepared. When you look good, you feel good and that confidence reflects in your personality. You don’t want the fear of body odor adding to your existing worries. Keep your hair clean and shiny, wear elegant clothes that are ironed and well maintained, take care of facial/body hair and be sure to be clean and wear a good perfume. Wear some basic makeup and avoid anything uncomfortable or constricting, especially when it comes to shoes. You’ll automatically feel good about yourself, and that in itself is a huge confidence booster.
3. Smile and focus
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When it comes to flirting in a classy way, a lot of it is about subtle body language cues. And the best way to express your interest is to smile. Hold your head up and smile sincerely; you’ll come across as good-natured, amiable, and pleasant. Focus on the other person when they’re speaking. Beware of shyness-induced body language like hunching forward, fidgeting and not making eye contact. This kind of behavior is a huge put off so you’ll want to avoid it at any cost!
4. Ask questions
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This is probably the toughest part for a shy person – sustaining a conversation. There’s an easy way around this – ask lots of questions. No, you don’t have to do an interrogation, but put forth intelligent queries at the right gaps in the conversation. This makes you appear interested and focused, and also takes the burden of talking away from you. But make sure you’re not interrupting the other person with a barrage of inane questions – it’s better not to say anything!
5. Be controlled
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While we don’t suggest taking the ‘playing hard to get’ game too far, it helps to practice a little self control. This might sound like strange advice for a shy person, but the truth is that shy people might overcompensate due to performance anxiety. And everyone agrees that being too earnest reeks of desperation, even if that isn’t the case! If you’re not very vocal by nature, that is perfectly fine – you don’t have to change yourself. Which brings us to our final tip….
6. Be yourself
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This should be carved into a pendant and worn all the time!! Trying to be someone you are not is extremely stressful – you can put up a show only for so long before you get frustrated. Besides, it is easy for people to know when you’re not being genuine. Don’t try to conform to someone else’s ideal, because that’s never going to work in the long run. You are you, and there is just one of you in the whole world; there are no samples!
Being shy can feel like a handicap at times and people tend to stick to the same hangouts and same social circles. But the only way to overcome fear is to face it directly, so try and get out of your comfort zone and go to new places and meet new kinds of people. Take it very slow and easy; this is not supposed to be a chore! With just a little extra effort, you can get over your shyness without losing your individuality, and flirting and making social connections will soon be a breeze!
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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