Amidst all the claims that chivalry is dead and the world is going to be a really unpleasant place to live in, we are definitely forgetting that it is not the first time such claims have been made. We fail to understand that chivalry is not a concept that has been thrown upon us only now, but has been exercised since the medieval ages. So when we say that chivalry is dead, we can safely say that the real meaning of it is definitely dead.
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The initial days of this code of conduct were characterized by these ten commandments that had to be followed by the knights:
- They were to believe and follow what the Church teaches them
- They were to defend the Church when needed
- They were to respect all weaknesses and consider themselves to be the defenders
- They were to love the country they were born in
- They were not allowed to back down before their enemy
- They were not allowed to show any mercy with cheaters and traitors
- They were to perform all their duties right
- They were to always remain faithful and never lie
- They were to be generous and also be of help to others
- They were to always be righteous and support the just against the unfair
These principles went on to further evolve, and eventually writers and scholars developed it into the modern concept as we understand it today – usually in the romantic context of taking care of women. It is now a set of acts and gestures that men are to perform as a gesture of courtesy to women. In this presumed doomsday of chivalry, they have become occasional acts that can make women melt.
Suggested read: How to be chivalrous in the 21st century – the modern chivalry guide
Here are a few gestures and acts of chivalry that will leave you in awe of chivalry’s surviving forms – and make the point that chivalry is NOT dead:
1. Holding doors and pulling out chairs
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He walks behind you, yet somehow manages to hold the door for you. He also pulls out you chair for you and does not sit down until you are comfortable in your seat. Who can possibly deny how much we dig being the center of attention and treated like royalty?
Some men make it a part of their daily habit to do this. This gets them many brownie points with the ladies and they have a better chance of impressing the one they really want. Also, it is a very good habit to have with their mothers, sisters, or any other woman that they know.
2. Saving that last bite of food
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You love what is on your date’s dish and have almost eaten half of it already. He knows that you love the dish, and saves the last bite for you. Furthermore, when you hesitantly decline it since it is the last bite, he urges you to eat it because it will make him happy.
They say that the stomach is a vital pathway to the heart, and if he is willing to kill the craving of his stomach for you, it means that he likes you much more than the meal that he is eating. We all crave men like that in life, don’t we? The ones who put us before their food and video games?
3. Paying for the meal or graciously accepting your offer to split the check
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When you are out on a date, it is taken for granted that he will pay for the meal unless previously decided otherwise. When you are with a chivalrous man, the bill never comes as a surprise for you to pay up. He is careful about where he is taking you and should be able to cover the entire cost of the meal.
But there is another catch to this. Many of us offer to split the check. Obviously, we are independent women who can take care of ourselves and pay for our own food and luxuries. If we do, they graciously accept the offer and split it without a word. This shows that he wants to take care of you, but respects your independence and choices before his wants.
4. Helping you with your/his jacket
Of course you are fully capable of putting on your own jacket, but isn’t it nice when your man holds it up for you? It is just about making everything convenient for you and making sure that you do not have to go through a twisted arm just to put your jacket on.
This tiny gesture of chivalry also extends to giving you his jacket when it is really cold, without you asking. It shows that he cares about your well-being and is willing to go through a little trouble himself for it. If you man does this, then you can stop questioning whether chivalry is dead.
Suggested read: 10 personality traits that separate men from the boys
5. Making sure you are comfortable and alright at all times
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No ladies, he is not your baby sitter and is not going to hug you all day and be available when you have a dressing crisis and a broken nail. But when he takes you out with his friends, he sits next to you and keeps checking if you are comfortable. He also makes sure that no one talks to you inappropriately. Assures you that you two can leave if you are not enjoying yourself, and you do not need to hold back. And at the end of the night, he ensures that you reach home safe.
It doesn’t end there – he leaves that sweet text that will make you smile or checks if you have had your meals. He also checks on you when you are unwell and upset. All of these gestures are sure to make your day and melt your heart like chocolate in the sun! If this doesn’t prove that chivalry is not dead, then I don’t know what will!
6. Walking on the outside on the sidewalk
You would love it when your man is protective of you and walks on the outside of the sidewalk or chooses to walk on the left while crossing the road. It shows that he is protective of you and is going to do anything to keep you safe. Even risking getting hit by cars.
7. Being punctual even with phone calls
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If a man says that he will call at 4:00pm and calls at that exact time, he has instantly scored brownie points here. Punctuality with phone calls is one of the best things a man could do to make a mark on the woman’s mind.
This is also applicable to picking you up and meeting you. No one likes waiting. So boys, you better know how to read your watch before trying to impress us, else you might just be too late and lose our interest in you forever.
8. Making tiny gestures of love in public
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We do not mean he is going to grab your breasts or derriere in the middle of the street, or start to feel you up at a party. While men do not like full blown PDA, we don’t either. It is uncomfortable, uneasy, and too close to home to be practiced in public.
But suddenly grabbing your hand and kissing you while no one is looking, or pulling your cheeks, or giving you a kiss on the forehead, is something that you are going to treasure. This also means that he is proud of being with you and wants others to know as well.
9. Respecting your choices in bed
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When you get in between the sheets, you want to feel loved and respected. You might not want to take things ahead than a certain point, or might want to try something new and adventurous. Chivalry is to respect your choice to withdraw, and to also try to execute whatever it is that you want. The latter might not always be possible, but you have to give it to him for trying.
Trust us, if you have found someone who is a gentleman in bed, and treats his lady like the last he is ever going to have, stuff just got intense between the two of you. It is not just about chivalry here, but you might have just found yourself a keeper.
Suggested read: 11 modern day dating commandments that every man MUST know
10. Caring about the little things
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It could be loving your pooch, or helping babysit your little sister. He cares about the things and people that are in your life. Right from remembering the important dates to doctor’s appointments, and also having meals with your family if the occasion beckons, he knows his responsibility toward you and his bond with you.
This is not only going to prove him chivalrous, but will also make you feel loved and cared for. It shows that you are important to him and he treats you like family.
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