“Rejection, though – it could make the loss of someone you weren’t even that crazy about feel gut-wrenching and world-ending.” – Deb Caletti
Rejection, as mentioned in the above quote, in any form, hurts – big time. We are, after all, human beings; not inanimate objects. I’m the first one to admit that it’s nothing to be ashamed of, if rejection stings a bit. No matter the enormity or the severity of the rejection, it creates self-doubt. It makes you start questioning your judgment and start second-guessing whatever you do. Basically, losing self-confidence and feeling dejected seem like the only things left. However, moving on with your life is the best remedy for rejection.
Grieve
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Your first instinct is to protect yourself from further hurt by curling into a ball and grieving. It’s natural to grieve the loss of something you thought was special – even if the other person isn’t exactly on the same page with you. If the relationship – even if it was one-sided – came to an end, it probably wasn’t meant to be. But incessant grieving doesn’t really help you move on, does it? What do you do then? Catharsis – let out all the anguish and hurt you’re feeling. Crying your eyes out, or talking your best friend’s ears off, or pouring your heart out on paper, or, the best of all, imagining the person that hurt you in the punching bag in front of you! Go for whatever works best for you! But just let it all out.
Introspection
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Hindsight, it is said, is always 20/20. Although it may seem like an exercise in futility, it might shed some much-needed light on the reasons and feelings that led up to the culmination of your relationship. It might also answer the nagging questions of what went wrong and where. Making it a learning experience will definitely take the sting out of looking back over your past. You can learn something new from every relationship you’ve ever been in – be it familial, filial, or romantic.
Suggested read: 15 definite signs you”re not ready for a relationship after a breakup
Busy as a bee
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When you’re hurt, it’s easy to just fall into a pattern of going through the motions just for the sake of it rather than doing something because you want to. Keeping busy in the days and weeks immediately after the all-encompassing rejection is the key to not falling into the dark, bottomless pit of self-pity. Going out with your till-now-neglected family and friends is a safe bet. Hitting the dance clubs with your buddies or taking up a hobby or pursuing an old one you’ve overlooked, are just a few ways of keeping yourself engaged and out of the self-pity mode.
You’re not the only one
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Rejection hurts, sure. There isn’t a question about it. But, it helps in getting over it and moving on, when you remember that you’re not the only one who’s going through it. Lots of people go through rejection in their lives – some severe and some trivial. It isn’t the rejection that you’ll remember in, say, five years. It’s the fact that you crawled up the cliff facing you, and that you emerged at the summit successfully is what matters in the end.
A few pointers:
- Moving on is easier said than done. But unless you try it, you won’t know how strong you’ve been all along.
- The hurt goes away. It won’t happen instantly, but over time? Sure, definitely. After all, time is the best healer there is.
- There isn’t a bigger spirit-downer than self-pity. Avoid it like the plague
Remember the quote at the start of the article? You have to reach from there to here:
“Have you had a failure or rejection? You could get bitter. That’s one way to deal with it. Or… you could just get BETTER. What do you think?” – Destiny Booze
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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