There are good pick up lines and there are worst pick up lines and then, there’s fifty tonnes of sh*t and the worst pick up lines. If there were a competition to win the coveted trophy for the most dirty pick up line or the most filthy pick up line or ‘have-you-lost-it’ pick up line or ‘WHAT’ pick up line or a pick up line so bad that it merits *no reaction* I wouldn’t know who to give away the trophy to!
Seriously, you do not even have to be alert enough to catch one of these worst pick up lines floating about in the air – they are as widespread as perhaps nitrogen!
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I mean, whatever happened to iconic pick up lines like Audrey Hepburn’s ‘I don’t bite, you know … unless asked for’ to Cary Grant in Charade or Ingrid Bergman’s ‘Was that cannon fire or is it my heart pounding?’ to Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca!! Even if they were covertly salacious or overtly raunchy – they were gooood … and delivered with a measure of goodness so effective that they have stayed on. Pity, they aren’t really floating about in the air at clubs on Friday nights! <sigh>
Suggested read: The most romantic movies to watch with your boyfriend
Nonetheless, we drew a list of the worst ones that we ever heard in Hollywood. The only thing we have to say to the script writers – ‘what were you thinking!’
1. “Wanna play a game? You can be Little Red Riding Hood and I’ll be the Big Bad Wolf.” Taylor Lautner, Eclipse
Taylor Lautner in Eclipse
Yes, we know that far too many of you have a *thing* for Taylor Lautner. But don’t you think he pushed the reference to some*thing* a tad bit too far here? Seriously dude, who says that! Aaargghhh …
2. “I really wish that you’d come home with me. You’re so cute and I’m really good in bed, believe me. You smell good, too.” Nicholas Cage, Leaving Las Vegas
Leaving Las Vegas
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No, Nicholas Cage couldn’t make this one work. I would have been glad if he’d just left and I wouldn’t have to hear these corny lines in Leaving Las Vegas. Put that line in the mouth of Ryan Gosling and we’d see panties dropping in a flash of lightning!
3. “Pardon my lips. They find joy in the most unusual places.” Russell Crowe, A Good Year
A Good Year
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No, Russell Crowe couldn’t redeem this one! It sounds imposed and just not good enough to call it ‘a good year.’ Know what I mean? 😉
4. “God was showing off when he made you.” Ben Stiller, Keeping The Faith
Keeping The Faith
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Now, now, I have just one question – what kind of faith are we talking about when we use lines like that? I mean, even in good faith, a cliché like that’d kill many, and God sure won’t be happy! Duh …
5. “Ma’am, in the leopard print dress, you have an amazing rack” The Hangover
The Hangover
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Okay, disclaimer first – I liked The Hangover. I really did. But this one – too out there fellas … too out there.
6. “I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.” Will Ferrell, Anchorman
Anchorman
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And I would like to invite you for partying with the cops I just called on you. How’s that! High five! No?
7. “I don’t exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex?” Russell Crowe, A Beautiful Mind
A Beautiful Mind
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And I do not know what I am required to say in response to that ‘tempting’ offer. But let’s say I did agree and we had the intercourse. Now could we just say goodbye and never meet again?
Suggested read: Pick up lines that ACTUALLY work
8. “You give me premature ventricular contractions … You make my heart skip a beat.” Natalie Portman, No Strings Attached
Natalie Portman in No Strings Attached
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And this in the mouth of a woman. How much more lame could they get! No, really!
9. “Someone has to call God and tell him that one of his angels is missing.” Vince Vaughn, Couples Retreat
Couples Retreat
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And this is the guy who passed this one on to all the skunks and creeps who keep using this one like it was a heaven-sent. I am even tired of responding with ‘someone has to call the cops and tell them that the top cheapster on their ‘most wanted’ list is right here.’ It’s gotten old, folks … really old!
10. “You don’t have to say anything… Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you?” Lauren Bacall, To Have and To Have Not
Lauren Bacall in To Have And To Have Not
Really? Really? Really? Really? That’s even cornier than the ‘whistle baja’ song in Tiger Shroff’s Heropanti. No kidding.
And now I have an upset stomach just coz I typed these …
If we’ve missed any of the worst pick up lines that’d do well to grace the list – let us know in the comments below … we’re all ears.(I think)! Only, I should go throw up first …
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