The fact that marriage and finding the right partner to walk down the aisle with is a primary concern for people in their 40’s, is a major sociological concern. In fact, forget about the 40’s; the moment you turn 30 years old, society starts to whisper and point and nudge, telling you that you that you must “settle down” before it gets “too late”. Countless people have been plagued with the question of their marriage the moment they reach marriageable age, and the problem is, the questions don’t stop with age. They just keep getting more and more persistent.
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Getting married in your 40’s is considered a bold and brave move, not without its fair share of stigma and taboo surrounding it. After a point of time, you are considered “too old to settle down”. This notion has been popularized by mass media and age old sociological theories which show that the older men and women grow, the less likely they are to find like-minded partners to marry. This caused a great amount of anxiety amongst a lot of people, who felt the need to get married immediately, whether they found the right person or not, which of course, led to a bunch of whole other problems and made couple’s therapy an overnight business.
Amal Alamuddin and George Clooney
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HOWEVER, my beauties, times are a changing and more and more men and women have decided to throw caution to the wind, turn a deaf ear to what society has to say, and get married irrespective of age. Even though the community is yet to fully wrap its head around this idea, it is thankfully becoming increasingly common to find couples who decide to get hitched at a later age.
If you are wondering whether there is any point to it, and whether any good at all comes of waiting till you’re older to get married, here are all the reasons why getting married in your after you turn 40 is legit the best idea ever.
1. You know exactly what you want out of your marriage
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A lot of the times, young people who get married or look for potential people to marry aren’t sure about what they want from their partners. I have gone through hundreds of testimonials online, where people have written about how their vague notions about finding “the one” led them to make certain bad decisions, and let certain people leave their lives.
When you are young, your idea of the perfect partner is very different from your idea when you are older. In the earlier phase of your life, external factors such as their looks and their behavior are an important determinant when you are choosing a partner. However, when you grow older, and decide to get married in your 30s and 40s, you have a clearer idea of what you want, and are therefore, more likely to find someone you can be truly happy with. This makes for strong marriage, founded on love and security, as opposed to the doubt and insecurity that plagues you when you are young.
2. You have had time to study
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Studying is something most people tend to underestimate when they are young and eager to settle down. This disposition has a profound effect on their future, with or without their partners. Even though a majority of the population gets married when they are in their 20s or 30s, very rarely do people find people they are completely compatible and comfortable with. This interferes with the lives they have outside their love lives, which includes studies and your education.
When you get married in your 40s, it is at a stage in your life when you have had plenty of time to decide how much you want to study and gotten as qualified as you wanted without other priorities holding you back. There is no scope for academic regrets and you are amply qualified to do whatever you want with your life. This is an important mental space to be in when you are committing to something as important and as final as marriage, where the scope to do anything else is considerably lesser.
3. You have had time to build your career
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Possibly one of the best things about getting married in your 40s is your ability to stand on your own two feet, with your own money, and be whoever you want, before finally settling down with someone you can love. Tying the knot in your 40s has a few disadvantages, but the fact that you are a strong, powerful, sorted and moneyed individual who is ready to take the next step in their lives, overshadows all possible disadvantages that this arrangement could possibly have.
People underestimate the struggle of making a career along with building a home and giving time to your family, all at the same time. It is a struggle which constantly plagues young people, and often leads to unpleasant compromises and sacrifices. Getting married later in life means that you don’t have to worry about the “building” process of your life because you have already been through it. Now all you have to look forward to is a happy family life, with a secure job and tons of money to do whatever you want!
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4. You understand the value of space and independence
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One of the main problems that young couples have to face when they get pressured into marrying sooner than they want, is to figure out how to give each other their space and independence. In fact, not being able to give each other space also leads to trust issues, and is one of the main reasons why most marriages fall apart.
When you get married in your 40s, you and your partner both have an acute understanding of your own independence, and you know how to value the space of those around you. Sure you have the whole honeymoon phase, where you can’t bear to be without each other. But when they honeymoon stage phases out, you don’t feel insecure or unsure about anything, which is the beauty of age and maturity.
5. It’s the perfect time for a second chance
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Some people who get married when they are young are not able to find their bearings with their partners, no matter how long, or how hard they try. These marriages tend to fall apart, and in such cases, it is important for them to move on. Getting married in your 40s is one of the best things that could happen to you, if you have already given love and marriage a shot before, in your past.
When you get married after you have already had a few serious relationships, you understand the value of your marriage better, and the chances of it working out are also much greater. It is a second chance at love and life, which is almost impossible to screw up, a second time around.
6. You are older and wiser, and therefore, more “settled”
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I cannot emphasize the importance of your age, when you are getting married in your 40s. Even though most people view your age as the biggest disadvantage of an arrangement like this, I feel that it is the biggest advantage of such a decision. Your age is an agency through which you can claim greater maturity and greater experience, which all culminates in a happy married life.
It’s true that as you grow older, the chances of finding someone like minded decreases considerably, and also you aren’t brimming with the energy that you had in your youth. However, in all these years, you have also learnt to channelize that energy for greater productivity and mental peace, which makes for a settled, happy and sorted married life, with minimal problems.
7. You have had time for yourself
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Your 20’s and 30’s is the time that you have to build yourself, to learn how to love yourself and to take time out to spend with and on yourself. However, in most cases, that is not what happens. You are busy with your career and your family and your spouse, since that is the time most people get married. This can lead to a lot of psychological and personal issues in your marriage later on, and can even cause resentment when you realize that you have lost out on vital time that you could have spent on yourself.
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When you get married in your 40s, it is a time when you are young enough to fall in love and start a family, but also old enough to have finished the process of loving yourself, spending time on yourself and getting to know yourself as a person, which is vital for the success of any relationship. This too adds to the fact that those who get married later in life, have longer, happier married lives.
The process of finding a partner, a real soul-mate is not time bound. That is the bottom line that society has to come to terms with. However, if you are comfortable with yourself and you have no trouble going against the stream and doing things your way, then there are some great perks of getting hitched in your 40s, which could lead to a long, health and happy relationship with your spouse.
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