To know how to find love, you have created a shortcut for Tinder on your homepage, you have tried hanging out outside and inside clubs hoping the love of your life will randomly appear, you have tried to go on blind dates, you have accepted every single person your hyper-active love guru of a friend has tried to set you up with. However, you are still single as hell and you are afraid that you are going to die sad and lonely unless you find the love of your life and your soul mate, soon enough.
Image source: Pixabay, copyright-free image, under Creative Commons License
In an age that is defined by an intense hookup culture, how does one find love? How does one find the person they are meant to grow old with? In fact, how do you even know whether a person is the one you will forever be happy with?
Suggested read: The Only Relationship Advice That Makes Sense When You Want To Find Lasting Love
If all these difficult questions have been keeping you up at night, check out the complete guide on how to find love in order to bid farewell to your single-days, and find your permanent personal cuddler (because let’s be real guys, that is why everyone wants a relationship.)
1. Find yourself first
Image source: Giphy
If you think I am kidding, I am not. The first step to finding someone who will invest their time, energy and emotions in you, is to become someone worthy of all those things. That won’t happen if you are fake and shallow and whiny and lost. You have to hone your talents, do what you are good at, find inner-peace and find a purpose in life, which is when you will become a hundred times more attractive, personality-wise. People will be drawn to your confidence and your independence. The more stable you are as a person, the more stability you will find in your partner.
2. Socialize
Image source: Giphy
Honestly, if you are trying to figure out how to find love, the best way to go is the old-fashioned way. Socializing is a great way to meet new people and make new friends, which considerably increases the chances of you finding the love of your life. Sitting at home, scrolling through a sea of similar-looking faces all of whom are apparently sapiosexual and fun-loving (WHO DOESN’T LOVE HAVING FUN?!) is not going to get you anywhere.
When you are socializing, you also have to be open-minded and make sure that your friends like you. This is not only for the sake of finding love, but to maintain a healthy mental state, because friends are always a great thing to have. You have to be patient, committed and non-judgmental when you are socializing in order to find the love of your life, eventually.
3. Make your availability apparent
Image source: Giphy
Please don’t get me wrong, you are certainly not expected to hang a neon sign saying “SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE” outside your apartment. One subtle and normal way of showing that you are available and interested is to give a person your time. If you are interested in someone, or they express interest in you, then being busy and playing hard-to-get is going to change for the worse that real soon.
You can also drop subtle hints by referring to your outings together as ‘dates’ and also by showing/giving them gestures of appreciation (hipsters usually make mix-tapes, you can choose your tokens). Even having deep, meaningful conversations is something exclusive that only the closest friends share, so if you manage to achieve that with someone, sparks are bound to fly.
4. Go to places you like and not generic spots (like clubs)
Image source: Giphy
You are going to find love with someone who shares the same interests as you, and likes the same things that you do. Therefore, in order to find someone like-minded, seek out the places you like going to, whether it is a library, community center, club, movie theater or anywhere else. You will definitely meet people who regularly visit these places, and you can strike up a friendship with them.
Like I said before, friendship is the foundation of finding love, and the chances of that happening increase when you go to places you like, and meet people who like the same things.
Suggested read: These Words In Your Online Dating Profile Will Find You Love
5. Don’t date every single person you meet
Image source: Giphy
One of the worst things you could do is come across as desperate. Say suppose you are having a conversation with a nice person, who you might be interested in, and because they have had more than one conversation with you, they might be too. If both of you like pandas, or eating cereal, don’t start planning your wedding and the names of your babies.
You have to give time for relationships to develop naturally, and if people find you trying to make out with every single person you meet just because you are trying to find love, it is not going to help you in your cause. You will come across as desperate and people will start avoiding you and you will be lonelier than ever. Take a couple of classes on playing it cool, and your soul mate might just walk right into your arms.
6. Stop searching for the perfect person
Image source: Giphy
Like I said before, it is important to not be judgmental when you are making connections with your possible forever person. You have to be open-minded about who they are, and if you have a concrete idea about who the perfect person for you is in your mind, then you are never going to find love. One of the first things you need to come to terms with when you are trying to find love is that no one is perfect, and no one will fit the ideal that you have created in your mind.
Finding someone you can be yourself with, and want to give the world to, is the very definition of love, and they might even be the total opposite of who you had imagined loving. Being open-minded will open up a lot of option for you, which you previously didn’t even think of considering.
7. Check out online dating websites
Image source: Giphy
Let’s be clear- Tinder is not a dating website. Most Tinder narratives are all about hookups and one night stands and then awkward conversations or platonic friendship, and I haven’t really heard of someone who has found love on Tinder. There are however, several online dating sites, which are literally for people who want to date and not hookup.
You can enter your details, things you are interested in, and the kind of people you are looking for, in order to meet some people who are just like you, or are interested in people like you. Even though there aren’t many Tinder success stories, the number of success stories on dating apps and online dating websites is constantly increasing, so there is no reason why you shouldn’t try your luck there.
8. Make your life more interesting
Image source: Giphy
I know this is going on to sound more like a self-help and personal development article, but in reality, so much of finding true and honest love depends on who you are as a person. When you engage in society, involve yourself with charity, travel, and gain experiences, not only do you become a more appealing individual, but people are attracted to you and the chances of you finding someone you are attracted to as well, increases potentially.
When you have stories to tell, and you are a giving, loving individual, people will find it easier to love you. No one wants a moping, whining baby who is wasting their life looking for someone to love. You have to build yourself in a way so that love comes to you.
Suggested read: Dating In The Time Of Tinder
9. Talk to strangers
Image source: Giphy
Word of caution: I am not asking you to be creepy and sidle up to strangers and ask them for their number or lay your head in their lap. You could always go the romantic way and strike up a conversation with a stranger in a book store or a café, and create an epic story to tell your grandkids.
I am just kidding; please don’t imagine having children with every stranger that you talk to. However, when you are friendly and approachable, you make friends more easily, and you get to know a lot about strangers and their lives, and who knows, a random conversation might just lead to you finding the love of your life, and let’s be honest, it would make for an epic story.
Finding love in a day and age when people are mostly skeptics and averse to actual physical interactions can be difficult. However, it is not impossible, and if you become a loveable person, who makes friends and looks in the right places, you won’t be disappointed because love is waiting just around the corner!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image, under Creative Commons License
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
){kind=link}