Do you ever wonder why there are a few relationships that last forever while others don’t? There must be something that these “idea couples” must be doing differently, right? If you are having an issue in your relationship or are tired or having several failed relationships, then it is high-time you contemplate a little.
Every couple fights. In fact, it is important to disagree with your partner, as it will help the two of you to grow together. Though, it is of utmost importance to always have healthy arguments. Without reaching a conclusion, you would merely fall into a loop. The two of you will keep fighting about the same thing. The whole motive of being with someone is to respect their individuality and trust them with the whole of your heart. It is not about finding their flaws or picking fights on the most irrelevant issues. If you are tired of fighting over the same thing almost every single day, then why don’t you make an effort and bring a change in your relationship.
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Start by knowing how you are supposed to fight with your partner. Share these points with your significant other and set some ground rules. You should always know what you are fighting for. Your partner is supposed to be your person. Don’t lose them. Make sure that you always have them by your side after learning how to handle arguments in a relationship in a healthy manner. This is how ideal couples fight with each other. If you think you need some of these qualities, why not start by acknowledging where you lack.
1. They never attack the person – they attack the problem
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This is one of the biggest problems couples face while having an argument. They always attack the other person. In this process, they sometimes pass a personal statement and cross the line. Before you have any kind of argument with your partner, always look for the right place and time. Never pick a fight when either one of you is already agitated by something else. This will merely channel the anger that they had regarding something else into the fight.
Always focus on the problem. Identify the root cause of your fight and target that instead of beating around the bush. Chances are the two of you could be frustrated with the same thing. Why can’t you both work together and address the issue? When you are fighting, don’t attack your partner. Get to know what the cause of that fight is and focus on diminishing it instead of playing a blame game.
2. They know their relationship is more important than winning a fight
This is the golden rule of every relationship. Your partner should matter more to you than a stupid fight. Just to have an upper hand in an argument, you can’t let go of a person. Too often, people look for some kind of leverage in order to prove their partner wrong. This ends disastrously as it pushes their partner away from them.
No fight can be more important than your significant other and there is no harm in meeting them halfway. Never underestimate the power of a sincere apology. Your kind words and attitude can put an end to an ongoing fight. You can also bend a little at times to keep your partner happy. There is no harm in compromising a little if you know that your relationship is worth it.
3. They give each other time to speak during an argument
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Have you ever witnessed your parents having an argument? How do they fight? Try to analyze it. If they are together for years, chances are they must have cracked the code. In order to have handle arguments in a relationship in a healthy manner you need to give them time to speak. After when you have conveyed your thoughts, you should listen to your partner. They can have a different side of the story as well.
Try to record one of those awful fights that you and your partner have sometimes. You will get to know how the two of you argue. If you think you are not listening to your partner during a heated argument, try to change things. It would definitely be good for your relationship.
4. They know there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with each other
It is okay to disagree with your partner every now and then. You both can settle on two different things. Every coin has two sides and you can look at any situation from two different perspectives. Don’t fight with your partner with an intention to prove them wrong. Instead, have an open mind and try to learn their side of the story. You never know, you might end up learning something new!
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5. They argue pragmatically, not emotionally
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Whenever you are having a fight with your partner, always remember there are two kinds of arguments in a relationship that are taking place simultaneously – a practical one and an emotional one. You can’t be emotional while proposing something new to them. You got to back yourself with some proven facts. Don’t blindfold them or give them irrelevant information. Back your argument with well-stated facts. This will help you have discussions with your partner rather than indulging those never-ending arguments in a relationship.
6. They are never hesitant to communicate with each other
Most of the fights take place because we keep hiding several things when we should be talking to our partner about those issues. Your partner can’t read your mind and know something without getting informed. If you are getting bothered by anything at all, start talking to your significant other about it. It could be anything from their behavior to your own insecurities. The more you hide things from them, the out of the proportion your fights would get.
It is always recommended to talk to your partner on a daily basis. Have a session of 15-30 minutes everyday to communicate with your partner. This will help the two of you to know each other and share almost everything – which is exactly what you are supposed to do in a relationship.
7. They have set some ground rules
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If you had a bad fight and didn’t like the way your partner has spoken to you, let them know about it after a while. This is something which makes healthy couples different from others. They know that every relationship has certain boundaries that should never be crossed. Even before having a heated argument with your partner, make a list of rules. It would help the two of you to have healthy arguments instead of those regretful fights.
Name calling is something which should always be avoided. One should definitely not let a past relationship or mistake to change the course of an ongoing fight. Family and friends should be off-limit as well. Start trusting your partner more often and set some fundamental ground rules that the two of you are required to follow.
8. They are always honest
If you would keep hiding things from your partner, just to avoid a fight, it would never end well. You might get away with it for a while, but things like this always backfire. Never be dishonest with your partner. Always let them know about a certain issue without withholding any information. Remember, a half-truth is a whole lie. This will not only disappoint your partner, but they might stop trusting you in the long run as well.
Honesty is the foundation of every relationship. You should not have the motive to avoid an argument. Instead, you should be honest, even if it means you have to give your partner an explanation. You should do the right thing by being truthful, even when you are wrong or have done something terrible.
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9. They give each other the benefit of doubt
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If you can’t make an effort to understand your partner, you won’t have a long and fulfilling relationship with them. It is important to take a leap of faith sometimes, without really knowing where you are going to end. The same way, you need to understand that against all the odds – your partner can be right. Even when you are not able to see things from their perspective, chances are that you could be blindfolded by something else.
Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt and instead of looking for a reason to fight, celebrate what you already have. You can always disagree with them or have an argument. Start by overlooking their flaws and focus on what’s good in them. Instead of being bothered by your dissimilarities, meet each other halfway and make your individuality your strength.
The two of you are supposed to be a team. It is the both of you against the world and you certainly can’t win the battle without knowing your partner inside out. Move past those irrelevant fights and have healthy arguments with your partner. Always reach a conclusion and identify the cause of a fight. Work on it and have a fruitful relationship.
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