Getting married to someone and spending your whole life with them is not an easy decision. It is the biggest step of your life and should be taken seriously. For others, your wedding could mean just another day or a celebration to remember, but for you, it is the commencement of a whole new journey.
There are a lot of people out there who call off the wedding. There can be several reasons behind taking a step back like that or choosing to stay single. Too many times, there could be a genuine reason behind it, but chances are that it could be your anxiety taking its toll on you. No matter what the reason is, only you can solve it after doing some contemplation.
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If you are with your partner for years and have decided to marry, then the action speaks a lot for itself. You must have enjoyed their company and at some point in time, you must have wanted to be with them. Calling off the wedding on the big day is always a dreadful thought. No one deserves to get stood up at the altar and get mocked by everyone around them. Though, if you have really decided that you aren’t ready or that you should give it more time, try to talk to your partner at least a few weeks (or even months) before the big day.
Before you make your mind, ask yourself a few thoughtful questions. These are the things that you should definitely consider before making your mind. Do you think you are confused and can’t make your mind? Try to ask yourself these questions and in the end, you will get your answer loud and clear.
1. Are you just getting cold feet or is this for real?
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This is something which happens to most of us. You could be just terrified of this life-changing event and wanted to call off the wedding out of your anxiety and fear. Deep within, we all are afraid of change. Knowing that this might change your life forever, you might decide to simply avoid it.
You need to ask yourself if you want to marry someone or not. Don’t think about your partner at this point in time. You need to make sure if marriage is for you or not. Do you really believe in the institution of marriage? Are you ready to settle with someone your whole life?
There is nothing wrong with being single your whole life. If you don’t believe in the idea of something like marriage or the thought of having kids, then it’s absolutely fine. Though, not being honest with your partner about it is wrong. If you think you are not meant to marry someone, let your partner know about it in the most subtle way. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s not your anxiety that is calling all the shots for you.
2. There won’t be any going back! Are you ready for this?
If you will tell your partner that you are calling off the wedding, they might react in the most unexpected way. They might get hurt and can even part ways. You have to get ready to face the worst of the situation.
It might cause serious implications in your life and you can end up losing the one you love forever. You can’t take back your decision after this and needs to make sure that this is what you want.
3. What is the reason behind calling off the wedding?
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Before reaching a conclusion, try to come up with a reason. Why are you really calling it off? There must be some or other reason behind it. Your decision can change the course of your entire life. You need to make sure that you are in this with the whole of your heart and soul.
There would be plenty of reasons behind calling off the wedding, but you need to identify it to make sure that you won’t make the same mistake again. Is it just your fear of commitment or are you not into your partner anymore? Have you fallen out of love with them? Do you think you are not financially ready to settle down? Do you think that after getting married you won’t be able to pursue your passion? Dig a little deeper and start by identifying the cause.
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4. Have you given it a try?
Before informing your significant other about your decision, you need to ensure that you have left no stone unturned in order to rectify the issue. After identifying the reason, try to make an effort to resolve it.
You should talk to your partner and let them know what’s going on in your mind. They might help you resolve the ongoing conflict you are having. Have a heartfelt discussion with them and let them know about that one thing which is bothering you so much. Always give it a try before simply calling it off altogether. It would be worth all your efforts!
5. Is this about someone/something else?
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Love is an unexpected thing! It can happen to us at any time and doesn’t give us any reason. If you think you are attracted to someone else or have fallen out of love with your partner, then try to think about it. Be more rational and pragmatic here. Are you sure that this is not just an infatuation? You could be going through a phase as well.
When we marry someone, we compromise on a lot of things. But it doesn’t mean that you have to give up your hopes and aspirations. Your partner can help you chase your dreams instead.
6. Do you feel so unhappy with your partner?
Lately, if you are not happy with your partner, chances are that you might think to quit the entire relationship. Though, the moment you would make that decision, you might regret it.
Don’t give up on what you already have to get a taste of something new. If you think there is nothing your partner can do to make you happy, stick to your decision. But if you think that it is just a phase, then try to seek some help. You were once irrevocably in love with them, right? Why can’t you create that magic once again instead of making such a life-changing decision?
7. Have you been dishonest with your significant other?
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Are you letting your guilt or dishonestly to make the biggest decision of your life? When we meet someone, we often try to project the best version of ourselves to get accepted. Sometimes, in the process, we spare a lie and don’t think of the long haul.
Though, when you plan to settle with that person, you keep thinking about that one big lie that laid the foundation of your relationship. You know you can’t live with that lie anymore. Being dishonest with your partner for the rest of your life seems like the most selfish thing. If you are going through the same notion, then why not start by being honest with your partner. Let them decide if they want to be with you or not instead of making a choice for the both of you.
8. Is this not your idea of a perfect relationship?
If you are still chasing for your idea of a perfect relationship, then it’s not going to happen. We don’t have the kind of fairy tale romance that you might be thinking in reality. If you are planning to call off the wedding because you are still waiting for your Prince Charming, then it is high-time you have a pragmatic approach. Sometimes, your Prince Charming is the one who understands you and accepts you for who you are, instead of riding a white horse.
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9. Is this a final solution? What will you do after calling it off?
This is the most important question. If you don’t have a clear idea about what you are going to do after calling off the wedding, then you certainly can’t reach a conclusion. Do you think it is the final solution and that you have tried everything to save the day? If you are really sure about it and know this is not what you want, then nothing can stop you anymore. Go ahead, but be sure that it’s a one-way lane and that you would never be able to come back.
Though, before you call it off, make sure that you are not letting your anxiety, a past event, or even your own dishonesty to cause this change of heart. Try to talk to your best friend or a close family member. If you think you are just nervous, they would certainly let you see the entire situation in black and white.
Most significantly, try to acknowledge your gut feeling. Do you love your partner? You need to ask this question one final time before making the call. If you really love them, then there is no need of contemplating so much. Sometimes, you just know. All you have to do is listen! Listen to yourself and you will get your answer.
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