Being hurt in a relationship is not a guarantee that you’ll get to live out your own version of happily ever after. It could come to an end in the blink of an eye, although there would have been many red flags along the way, which, you might have missed or chosen to miss. Whatever the situation, life after a breakup can be pretty effing terrible, especially if you weren’t the one who wanted it to end, or worse, if you’ve been cheated on.
However, what’s important now is to understand how to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and learn how to fall in love again. Life isn’t fair or perfect, and it’s these little imperfections that make it worth it in the long run. You wouldn’t appreciate happiness, if you didn’t understand pain. The same way, if you don’t understand the pain of heartbreak, you won’t understand the true worth of love.
Suggested read: 10 practical tips on how to love yourself the way you are
Life is unfair, unpredictable, and messy, and is notorious for not playing out like you wanted or expected. The only thing that is in your control – learn to deal with losses and heartbreak, while cherishing the happy experiences. Along the way, you’ll also learn some invaluable lessons from these downs, which are going to help you deal your ups with levelheadedness.
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Giving up on love after experiencing a broken heart seems like a given, because you think what’s the point when you’re bound to get hurt again. However, what you need to understand is that bad relationships with the wrong people cause you hurt and anguish and pain, not love. You may even deny the existence of love, just because you were hurt, but it’s cowardly to blame everything on love because LOVE does exist. You just need the right perspective to see it, recognize it, and experience it.
If you’re going through a painful breakup or have endured an unsuccessful relationship, take all the time you need to get back on your feet. And when you’re ready to take the plunge and look for someone special again, take a leap of faith and grab onto love with both arms. Here’s a list of things you need to know to learn how to fall in love again.
1. Accepting that your old relationship is over and done with.
The first step in learning how to fall in love again someday is accepting that your relationship is over. That there’s no use pining for someone who probably didn’t care for you that much. It feels as if you can’t let it go, because you thought that they were ‘the one,’ for you. It could feel that way, sure, but it’s all in your head. Because YOU control what you think about, and if you accept it and move on, there’s nothing stopping you from finding love again.
You’re allowed to feel sorry for yourself, but not wallow in self-pity. Heal your broken heart that works for you, but you don’t need to do it in isolation. Your thoughts are powerful, so convince yourself that your ex is better left in the past, and that you’re better off moving on with your life. Even if you do get back together with your ex, chances are, you’ll never be truly happy, because what’s broken can never be made to look like it did when it was intact.
2. Contemplating your role in the breakup.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
It takes two to tango, and it takes two people to make or break a relationship. So you had a hand in the end of your relationship. While the breakup may have seemed like it hit you out of the blue, or it may have been a long time coming with little fights and disagreements adding to it, you had to have played a role in it. Even if you have no reason to blame yourself, you can learn from the relationship.
Were you with the wrong person? Were you insecure, jealous, or manipulative? Or did you always know that it wasn’t meant to last? Learn from your breakup and make sure not to make the same mistakes again. When you fail at something, you get to learn from it. It may not be the lesson you want to learn, it is something you need to accept, which will make you better in the long run.
3. Learning to enjoy your new single status.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Now that you’re single again, start enjoying every minute of it. Yes, your relationship didn’t go as you’d planned, but don’t let it hold you down. Spend more time with your friends and family, now that you have ample free time on your hands. Try and make new friends, especially of the opposite sex, so that you get warmed to the idea of one day being in a relationship with someone nice again.
Party, go on shopping jaunts, hang out with friends that make you feel good about yourself, pursue hobbies and interests that you’ve left in the wayside. The point is to not get bogged down by the breakup, but to make the most of your life as it is now, today. And don’t make yourself sick with worry about finding someone that’s right for you. It will happen when it’s supposed to happen. For now, just enjoy your singlehood to the fullest.
Suggested read: 23 simple ways to love yourself every single day
4. Getting back on your feet.
There is no time limit on your grief. Take as much time as you need to heal your broken heart and get back on your feet. If it’s sooner than what you thought you needed, then good for you. During times of heartbreak, it’s natural to view the world as a broken place, which is filled with pain, sadness, and more heartbreak. Shake off that feeling of melancholy and see the world for the beautiful and happy place that is.
One sure way of doing this is by meeting old friends and family, and making new friends and acquaintances. Get over your breakup by preparing to bring excitement and happiness back into your life. Once you see how truly beautiful and wonderful life is, you’ll start to notice all the nice and attractive people when you go out. And once you start talking to them, going out with them, it’s only a matter of time till you find that one person who makes your heart go thud-thud every time you see them.
5. Falling in love with yourself.
Image source: Pinterest
Heartbreaks can break your self-esteem and shatter your ego, making you think that you may not be good enough. However, that is NOT true. You are a beautiful individual, who is unique in your own way, and you ARE good enough. Let the past go and learn to move on by looking ahead, not back. Realize that you can’t please everyone in this world, and similarly, not everyone is meant to fall in love with you. But there is one person who can and should love you no matter what – that’s YOU!
Loving yourself is the greatest love affair you can have in your life. Never stop loving yourself, no matter how many heartbreaks you experience in life. Once you come into your own, and grow your confidence, you’ll start to attract many dating potentials. And chances are, you’ll be interacting with people a lot better than your ex ever was.
6. Getting back on the dating horse.
Immediately after the breakup, dating again may be the last thing on your mind. However, if you would like to learn how to fall in love again after your heartbreak, you have to start somewhere. Start small, maybe some harmless flirting with the opposite sex. If you feel too awkward, maybe even try flirting with your friends of opposite sex.
Don’t start looking for ‘the one’ right from the start, but just have fun meeting new people, going out on dates, getting to know different kinds of people, maybe even get a bit touchy feely with them. When you exude confidence and put out vibes that you’re ready to mingle, that special someone will walk right into your life, when you least expect it, making it a lot better in the long run.
7. Treating your past relationship as an experiential lesson.
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Your past relationship was an experience and it’s a part of your memories now. Instead of shutting them out, learn from it and use it to make yourself better as a partner. What you need to understand is that just because you endured a bad relationship doesn’t mean love is terrible. Perhaps you just need a different lens to view the world, eh?
8. Remembering your ex is okay.
Just like your bad relationship and associated memories are a part of you, your ex is a part of your past too. It’s common to look for your ex in every new person you meet. However, don’t remember your ex for all the wrong reasons. In fact, you should remember all the pain they caused you, and the fact that you came out of it in one piece. Revel in your strength. Try and replace those horrible memories with new and happier ones.
Suggested read: 14 little things that make him fall in love with you – truly, madly, deeply
9. Falling in love again is all about taking that leap of faith.
Love is all about taking a leap of faith. You’ll meet someone interesting when you least expect it, and they may be ready to sweep you off your feet. But if you’re hesitant to make the move and take the next step, you may lose out on getting to know a really nice person. It’s natural to be reticent when it comes to falling in love again, but if you want to fall in love again, you must learn to take that leap of faith. After all, what is life without taking a chance on love, even true love?
Learning to love again after a breakup may seem unthinkable, but it’s far easier than what you thought. Follow these steps and you would be ready for love when it will waltz into your life.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
