Being in love is a wonderful feeling. Everyone craves someone who is exclusively theirs; who will be the sole recipient of their affections, and in turn be theirs. However, if being in love comes so naturally to all of us, and if everyone wants it, then why is it that most relationships end in heartbreak and tears?
This is because, unfortunately, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Even the most enviable relationships have their ups and downs, and sometimes, when the downs overpower the ups, they can end miserably. Try to actively avoid some common reasons why relationships fail if you look forward to sharing a long happy life with your partner:
Suggested read: 10 most common reasons why couples fall out of love
1. When the relationship is unequal
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A relationship is all about balance and harmony and equality. The two people involved should be complementary and not at loggerheads with each other at all times. One of the main reasons why relationships fail is because of an uneven status quo, even if one of you was ready to be reticent during the initial part of the relationship. When one person is the axis of the relationship – when they make all the decisions and have the last say due to a sense of superiority over the other – it is the first and most potent red flag that the relationship might end with a terrible heartache.
2. When egos clash
Strong egos are the number one reason why relationships of any kind can disintegrate. When things go wrong and neither partner is willing to back down, admit they are wrong, and initiate an apology, problems cannot be resolved. It is important to learn how to compromise and focus on mending ties with your partner, no matter whose fault it was.
3. When you become emotionally dependent on your partner
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One of the most common reasons why relationships fail is when one of the partners becomes too emotionally dependent on another. It is true that when you are in love, you become emotionally invested in that person and you seek love, support, and advice from them. However, in extreme cases, you might find yourself feeling happy only when they are content, or getting depressed when they are down, even though nothing substantially upsetting has taken place in your own life. This can give them an inordinate amount of control over you. You have to be the master of your own emotions, and find happiness from your own life, rather than let them dictate your moods.
4. When your partner brings excessive emotional baggage
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On the flip side, you have to make sure that when you are in a relationship, you keep a check on the amount of emotional baggage that your partner subjects you to. Sometimes, if they are so unstable and emotional that you feel suffocated and ‘trapped’ in the relationship, things are sure to go off kilter. Being in love should be a liberating experience and when it stops being that, you know that there is something seriously wrong with your relationship.
Suggested read: 10 warning signs you’re in the wrong relationship
5. When selfishness becomes a constant habit
As time goes on and as you spend more and more time with your partner, you have to establish a mutually rewarding relationship for both parties. Otherwise, after some time, it becomes emotionally exhausting to constantly provide love and support and encouragement and get nothing in return, and culminates in the end of the relationship altogether. Selfishness is possibly one of the main reasons why relationships fail.
6. When you can’t give time to each other
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When you love someone, and want to keep their company no matter how busy you are, you will manage to find time to be with them. Giving time to your partner is a way of showing them that they are a priority in your life, and they are still your favorite person, no matter how long you have been with each other; not doing so can lead to your partner thinking the exact opposite, which will inevitably end in disaster. When couples stop making time for each other, the relationship usually ends in failure, because they become emotionally unattached. Lack of time, or even being away from each other for long periods of time, can lead to miscommunication, misunderstanding, and unresolved fights, which might culminate in resentment.
7. When you stop talking about important things with your partner
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One of the main reasons why most relationships fail is because of a lack of communication. When couples find themselves making only small talk with each other, or not talking at all, then it is likely that their relationship will not last for very long. You have to let your partner know about your life, your emotional problems, your needs, and your doubts. However, communication is a two-way process. It is also important for you to be a person who would listen to them when they talk as well.
8. When you lack physical intimacy
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Physical intimacy does not necessarily imply having sex regularly to keep the flame in your relationship alive. The smallest touches and gestures are enough to show your partner that you care – holding their hand when you are walking side by side, tucking their hair behind their ears, giving them a hug when they are upset, et al are just some of the things you can do show that you care. Being in a relationship is all about being in love, and no matter how clichéd it gets, it is important to kiss each other often and have physical contact with your partner. If you find yourself withdrawing from their touch, or don’t feel the urge to be in physical contact with them, then there is something very wrong in your relationship.
9. When you start becoming indifferent to your partner
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The beginning of the relationship, appropriately called the honeymoon phase, is when it feels like there is nothing better than being with the person you love, and you accept them with all their flaws. But as time goes by, although some couples don’t engage in outright shouting matches, they don’t seem to care much about each other’s whereabouts either. Such indifference replaces the love and concern that they had initially started out with. It is worse than anger or hurt, both very strong emotions that can be triggered only when it concerns a person that you care about deeply; when you don’t react to your partner, it means you have stopped caring altogether. No longer are you emotionally invested in that person, nor do you feel like making an effort to salvage your relationship.
Suggested read: Why letting of a relationship isn’t as simple as it seems
If you spot some or all of these signs in your relationship, you should make amends immediately. If you are betting on sitting and waiting out the problems, think again – such issues would only multiply over time. It is highly possible to improve and repair problems before things spiral out of control. However, before you convince your partner that changes are necessary, consider whether you should introduce any changes in your behavior first. Good luck!
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