If You’re Thinking Of Settling Down, You Should Be Dating An Introvert

by Chaitra Ramalingegowda · June 6, 2016

I’m an introvert by nature, and I love that about myself. Although I’d like it if I were more outgoing, I’m happy being me. Truth be told, nobody is completely introverted or extroverted, but are somewhere in between the spectrum, that is called ambiversion.

Introverts have to survive in an extroverted world, all day, every day, while extroverts thrive in such an environment. While introverts can easily pick up a few extroverted traits, extroverts find it difficult to do the same.

Introverts are labeled anti-social, shy, and even unapproachable. It’s also been widely trumpeted that we introverts hate small talk and enjoy quite a bit of alone time. While the latter is true, the former is most definitely not. Maybe because of this perception, introverts are mostly sidelined when it comes to dating, and extroverts get all the attention (undue or not).

So if you’re in the dating space, dating an introvert would be the best thing to happen to you. No no, I’m not blowing my own trumpet; merely stating a fact. I also have a whole list planned out that will tell you why you should be dating an introvert.

So here goes:

1. We have amazing listening skills

couple talking_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pinterest

Listening is really a lost art. But we introverts are master artists when it comes to listening – like true, deep listening – when someone else is talking. We don’t talk just to fill a silence or to simply talk just for the sake of it. No. We talk only when we have something considerable to add to the conversation at hand. One more thing – we will never interrupt you when you’re in your flow explaining the masterful strokes in Renoir’s paintings or talking about the notes in Debussy’s ethereal music.

2. We know ourselves better

When we’re not pursuing a solitary interest/hobby, what do we do, you think? We think and introspect, of course. So we know ourselves pretty well. I’m not suggesting that we have all the answers, but we do know quite a bit about ourselves than another person. And the upside of knowing ourselves is that we know what we want and need in our life. So we know what kind of person we want in our life, and that’s a plus, because most people don’t have a clue as to what they want out of life and love.

3. Yes, we hate small talk

This one is absolutely, one hundred percent true. We hate small talk; unreservedly hate it, in fact. We don’t like to waste our time or our energy doing something as meaningless as small talk. But the same cannot be said for deep, soul-stirring conversations. We are drawn to such deep conversations that seem more sincere to us. This is how we get to know someone – through meaningful one-on-one conversations.

4. We tend to notice the little details

types of kisses_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pinterest

Did you know you have a tick in your jaw when you’re angry? That you put your tongue out when you’re focusing on something too hard? That you put away your brush at a certain angle after brushing your teeth? We are a bit (too much) detail-oriented, and this can be a boon as well as a curse, depending on where you stand. We almost never forget your birthday or the day we first kissed when we went out on our third date to that restaurant that juts out to the sea. See what I mean? 😉

5. We give great advice

Since we tend to think before we speak, and only when we think we can add something substantial to the topic at hand, we are great at doling out advice. We are able to take in all that goes on around us and process it in our heads. So when we do give out advice, it’s usually well thought through, and hence, valuable.

6. We give you your space

couple reading together_New_Love_Times

Image source: Shutterstock

Since we need ours too. You can count on us leaving a party early, or spending many a weekend curled up on the couch with a book for company. Although we prefer to recharge our batteries alone, it doesn’t mean you have to be stuck there twiddling your thumbs, thinking what to do. This is your perfect opportunity to have a night out with your buddies. Or, you could turn this into an opportunity to spend quiet time with your introverted partner and see how they rejuvenate in their alone time. You don’t have to do anything besides sit with them holding their hand while you watch a show on you iPad, or have a Skype chat with a friend while they read – as simple as that.

7. We express our affection differently

We tend to be low key when it comes to showing our affection to our partners. We don’t often say ‘I love you,’ just for the heck of it, because we really mean it when we do say so. Also, while we enjoy deep, meaningful conversations, we’re not one to share our feelings too much or be effusive when it comes to expressing how we feel. But this in no way means we aren’t thinking it. So on a rare occasion when we do all these things, it takes on an added layer of sincerity, which, you must be aware of.

8. We hate never-ending phone calls

she is talking on the phone_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

While a quick phone call is okay, the seemingly never-ending calls are a no no. Although we enjoy a good conversation, we want it done face-to-face. So texting is our go-to technology rather than phone calls. And even there, you can be sure that we will avoid small talk like the plague! 😉

9. We will let our partners shine

We don’t like to be the center of attention – unless threatened with bodily harm – nope, not even then! So we let our partners shine on their own, instead of jostling for attention. We’re down to being their wingmen, rather than the hero.

All said and done, introverts are known for being extremely loyal, totally supportive, and incredibly good partners, who are good listeners, and fierce loves, even if they don’t express it in so many words. So if you’re one who looks forward to some deep, meaningful conversations and giving each other space from time to time, then you can sure build a loving, stable, and healthy relationship with your introverted partner.