Times are a-changing, so are parents. Arranged marriage is no more ‘forced’ marriage. The approval of the man and the woman is given prime importance in such a decision. They are allowed to meet and go on dates to get to know each other before entering a lifelong commitment. So if you see someone around you who has opted for this route, be not judgmental there. It is just a way of seeking that special someone who you want as a life partner.
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Whenever a marriage is announced, the first question always asked is, “Love or arranged?” Surveys show that the youth today are more and more inclined to select an arranged set-up. Most Indians willingly have an arranged marriage, with the trend being more pronounced among North Indians. It has also been seen that divorce rates in communities like Hindus, orthodox Arabs, conservative Jews is very low, while among Europeans and Americans it is very high.
So let’s have a look at some of the up-sides of an arranged marriage.
1.Parental involvement
If you’re going through a rough time in your relationship, both sets of parents will be first to pitch in and establish an understanding between you and your partner. We may not be very fond of parental interference in our lives, but this really can make life more comfortable.
2. Financial security
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An arranged marriage starts off with a thorough background check. Whether or not the girl has a sound source of income, her parents want to ensure financial security for her. They will check the groom’s financial assets, the stock value of everything, his bank balance, real estate possessions, how much is already in his name in the family, his written share in the family business, etc., Parents want to know if their daughter will be kept comfortably, as will her children. This is given colossal importance and is checked on the list before anything else!
3. Spoilt for choice
In the world of arranged marriages, you’re given a range of brides/grooms to choose from! New-age matrimonial websites are the high-tech version of this process. Unlike in a love match, where we could not choose who to fall in love with, arranged marriage is exactly as it sounds – it is arranged love. Sigh!
4. In-laws
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The much needed family bonding is so much stronger in an arranged set-up. After all, as they say, we do not just marry a person, we marry the entire family. Since the bride and the groom have been selected by the parents, the new member is more warmly welcomed into the family. The bride’s in-laws make that special effort to make her comfortable and happy. There is much less effort on the part of the new daughter-in-law to win the in-laws’ hearts in such a set-up. Also, the two families make efforts on their own to get along.
5. A love that is yet to bloom
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An arranged date may not be a love-at-first-sight. But it will be a relationship that will see a gradual and patient developing of love, unlike in a love marriage, where the passion and fire have been kindled before the marriage, leaving the marriage to only get duller. Also, since you have already fallen in love, you will compromise less as you expect more. But in an arranged marriage, there is a higher level of compromise, creating stronger ties based on mutual respect and understanding. It is an affection that is earned through greater patience and tolerance. Thus providing a strong foundation for the life ahead.
6. Certified parental approval
In an arranged marriage, you are saved the nervousness and anxiety involving the decision of when and how to introduce your partner to your parents! Will they approve or not? What if they don’t? What tests will they make him/her go through? Ladke ki pitai ka risk? None of these fears exist in an arranged marriage set-up.
7. Relaxed wedding planning
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All you have to concentrate on is to look fabulous and leave the wedding on your parents. Not only do parents provide sufficient time to execute the wedding you want, but they enthusiastically participate in the planning and organizing. No worries about your future, about your spouse’s character. Your parents’ research has been more thorough than an Oxford or Harvard or Cambridge thesis paper. Focus on the more important stuff – a Sabyasachi lehenga, stunning TBZ jewelry, all the different outfits for the different occasions, flowers at the wedding, hair spas, bridal glow, wedding trousseau …
8. The ease of it all
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If you have decided to go for an arranged marriage: you need not bother yourself fretting about a good partner. You do not have to go for fifty lunches with bores or nerds. Or wake up from a nightmare of a blind date. You do not walk out of the club with a Greek hunk who should reveal to be an ideal husband and father. There is no need to be scrounging for a boyfriend/girlfriend in this world apparently devoid of good dating partners, only to be fed up and announce yourself a bachelor/spinster for life! In an arranged marriage, all this hard work is done by your parents and the matchmakers. They hire detectives or whatever it takes to make a minute examination of the prospective partner’s character, reputation, income, and anything that matters. (A person of character commonly turns out to be one with a home and not just a house, and who has a decent family background.) You just sit in the comfortable ambience of your home, where he’ll be invited to meet you. Have a nice chat. Meet again, and again. Give your approval or disapproval. When your parents have found you the man/woman of your dreams, live happily ever after…
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