When it comes to dating, asking people out, or even just interacting with people, you might feel shy and awkward due to low self-esteem. You might feel that talking to someone you like is a matter of great anxiety. For you, asking them on a date is out of the question because you feel that they are out of your league. This is a ridiculous train of thought!
You might be wondering about the real meaning on the concept of ‘out of someone’s league.’ Essentially, it means that you are afraid of approaching an individual because you think they are way better than you could ever be and so they would automatically not be interested in you. I have some good news for you on that front – this isn’t true! If you think they are too funny, too talented, or too good-looking for you, then you are never going to feel comfortable in the dating world. If you are interested in someone, you should ask someone out when the opportunity presents itself.
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When you stop yourself from approaching people because you are suffering from an inferiority complex, then you should address your personal issues before you can feel comfortable dating. Here are 8 valuable tips that could help you get over this, and give you enough reasons to ask someone out, even if you think someone is out of your league.
1. You are being too hard on yourself
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The very first reason you need to ask that “hot-shot” person out on a date is because you are really not as inferior as you think you are. Most people tend to undermine themselves when it comes to self-assessment, and focus on the negative aspects and the flaws. Instead, you should focus on your inherent talents and positive traits that you were born with. So the very first reason you should be going up to the person you like and asking them out, is because you are better than you believe you are. Take my word for it.
2. People see you differently
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The second most valid reason why you should be asking someone out immediately who you think is out of your league is because the way you see yourself is likely very different from how other people see you. You might feel that you are not good enough or might compare yourself negatively to someone else, but then again, someone else might not be thinking that about you. It is not in the nature of people to randomly undermine or disregard another individual. Once you gain more confidence and actually communicate and interact with people outside your comfort zone, you might be surprised.
3. You are a beautiful individual
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No, I am not going to go on an inspirational tangent. But this is still true, and it is something that you have to understand if you are afraid to ask someone out because you deem them to be way out of your league. Every single person is beautiful and everyone has qualities which other people may find very, very attractive. The fact that you are beautiful the way you are is something that you don’t get told enough!
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4. The other person might be feeling the same way
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One of the main reasons you should ask that person out is because you can’t know for sure how they feel until you make a move. For example, you may be thinking, “that person is too good-looking to even think about me that way” or, “they have the coolest friends and the coolest social life, why would they even think of hanging out with me?” Consequently, the other may be thinking that because you read, have fabulous taste in music, and have an active social life of your own, you are out of their league. If you are confused, just ask them out. Trying never hurt anyone.
5. Without trial and error, you will not find ‘The One’
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If you keep thinking that someone is out of your league, actually asking them out seems unimaginable. One of the things that you have to do in order to find the person who is perfect for you, is actually go out and ask them. Otherwise you run the risk of ending up with the wrong person. The thing is, you have to not wave at the opportunity as it passes you by. Instead, you should go ahead and ask that person out, otherwise you will never be able to move on and may regret your decision for a long time. The way to go about this is to build your confidence to the extent that you understand that you are actually capable of going up to them and asking them out. Trial and error is not possible if you are constantly thinking the other person is way out of your league.
6. Different personalities might result in being “out of your league”
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One of the reasons you may think that the person is out of your league is because they have a very different personality from yours. If you are more on the quiet or shy side, you may think that the person who is the life of the party, or is exceptionally funny, is out of your league. Just because someone’s personality is different from yours does not mean that they are out of your league. It means that when you finally start dating, your love life will always stay interesting and unique. All you have to do is come to terms with the fact that that person is just different from you in terms of their personality, and not because they are out of your league.
7. The other person is just another human being
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This is one of those obvious points that everyone knows, but will never think about. No matter how unachievable the other person might seem, you have to tell yourself that they are just another human being, like you. They probably have insecurities, loneliness, and experience all the usual negative things that people go through in their lives. Despite how people may act, no one is perfect! When you are able to come to terms with the fact that this person is just another individual you happen to like more than others, the right reasons for asking them out become clearer. This mindset should help you feel more brave and logical.
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8. Leagues don’t exist
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The final, and perhaps the most valid reason, for you to ask your crush out, is because leagues don’t actually exist in reality. When you think that one person is better than you in some ways, whether on the merit of their physical attributes or their talents, you are creating a divide that only exists in your own mind. It is important to completely dismiss the idea that one person is better than you and is likely to disregard you, because that is not true. Someone might be afraid of approaching you, just like you are afraid of approaching someone else.
In the end, there are no leagues, and that the only thing that gives rise to this train of thought is low self-esteem. Instead of always looking for the next person to date, take some time to build your own self-confidence. The key is to not judge who you deserve to date and who would or would not be interested in you. A person’s true worth is determined over the course of a lifetime, so focus on every single positive attribute you have, and use that as motivation to ask that one person out! Good luck!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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