Date rape is one of the most mortifying and soul-crushing incidents that a woman can experience. Sadly, it is caused by someone who is trusted by the victim, which makes it so heartbreaking. Date rape is a kind of acquainted rape, which is caused by someone who is known to the victim. Anyone from the victim’s colleagues to neighbors and friends to even their partner can be the perpetrator.
It has been observed in most of the cases that rape is a planned act which isn’t committed by a stranger, but by someone who is already acquainted with the victim. There could be a romantic intention behind it, but it always leads in expressing violence and anger from the rapist’s end. In order to let others understand about the sensitivity of this topic, we have come up with some hard-hitting realities about date rape. You could already be familiar with a few of them while some of the points might surprise you.
Suggested read: Why is marital rape an oxymoron in India?
Try to understand the reason behind every cause and understand what you, as a strong and independent individual, can do to make a difference.
1. It is caused by someone you already know
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It is not just us. It has been proven by statistics as well. The growing number of instances of such kind of a rape has made our society come up with the term “date rape”. In countries like India, it has been observed that around 98% of the total reported rapes were caused by someone who was already known by the victim.
If you like to protect yourself, then start by being your own hero. When it comes to date rape, you can’t really trust a friend or a colleague. Mostly, women are drugged or given some or other kind of chemical composition that makes them unconscious. The perpetrator usually takes the benefit of their vulnerability and performs the act of violence.
It is always recommended to check your drink and make sure that your food is not compromised. Always tell your girlfriends where you are going and stay a little alert. The moment you think you are losing your senses, call a friend. You should always stay alert from strangers, but when it comes to meeting a new guy, never let go of your guard.
2. You can choose your course of action
Something as brutal and devastating as rape can change you entirely. Chances are that after the incident, you might become a whole new person. You can either become the victim and follow a certain path or can come out as a survival and do your own thing. It is only you who should decide your course of action. People might think that after getting raped, the first thing is to inform the police or one’s family and friends. Though, it might seem like the most rational thing to do, but it is not a compulsion.
If you think you are not ready, you can keep it to yourself for the time being. You can talk about it to your loved ones only when you are comfortable. Don’t let your friends push you to do a certain thing. You have just been through one of the worst phases of your life and there is no harm in taking a break. Only you can decide what is right for you. Listen to others and do your bit of research, but don’t let them make any decision for you.
3. Most rapists are not even convicted
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This is one of the most hard-hitting realities about date rape, which makes it such a burning topic. It has been observed that only 3% of the rapists are actually convicted. This is because most of the women either don’t press the charges or won’t take a lead.
There are thousands of young girls and women out there who have been sexually assaulted by their family members or even their partners, but they don’t come out and press the charges. Most of them are too afraid to take a lead or don’t know where to start. There are plenty of women who want to forget the incident. They would like to move ahead without thinking about it. Though, as brave as it might sound, it is always recommended to step up. You never know, your story might inspire someone else to come out of the violence they must be experiencing every passing day.
Suggested read: The agony of my rape trial
4. It can result in an unwanted pregnancy
Most of the date rapes are caused by someone who is close to the victim. It could be committed by even your partner or your boyfriend, which makes it such a critical issue. Annually, around 32,000 pregnancies are being reported as a result of rape. This can easily let one understand how rape can sometimes result in something bigger than a sexual assault.
Not just that, it can also cause serious damage to your body. It has been reported that 4 out of 5 women who gets raped suffers from severe physical and psychological conditions. Additionally, almost 40% of the rape victims develop some or other kind of STD because of their sexual assault. After facing such a dreadful condition, every rape survival should make sure that they are physically fit. Go through a complete body checkup and if required, undergo a psychological assessment as well to make sure that you are safe and healthy.
5. It is not just about sex
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Since date rape involves an acquainted person as the perpetrator, it is more than just about fulfilling their sexual desires. The rapist knows the victim and would like to destroy them in a physical and emotional manner. When the perpetrator is the victim’s partner, it is often about power and proving one’s upper hand in the relationship, in the most disastrous way.
It often leads to a recurring act. It has been observed that over one-third of women who are raped as minors are repeatedly raped as adults as well. Date rape can often convert into serial rape when the perpetrator consistently tries to take away the sense of happiness from the victim’s life. More than 40% of the women who are being raped once are expected to be raped again, which implies how the rapist keeps repeating the act in order to prove their point.
6. It can be a pre-planned act
A lot of people assume that date rape happens in the heat of the moment when a guy is not ready to listen to a “no” and keeps pressurizing his date to have sex with him. Though, it might be true, but it has been seen that date rapes are commonly a planned act.
From mixing one’s drink to isolating her from the crowd, every move that the perpetrator make is a planned one. Too often, a victim is being watched by the perpetrator and everything related to their preferences and schedule is noted while making their move.
7. It might take forever to heal
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There is certainly no ideal course of action that one can follow after experiencing such a life-changing incident. Rape survivors find it hard to trust their partner and it might make them emotionally unavailable for a long time. If the act is done by a family member or involves someone from the family, then the victim might end up cutting her roots or any other ties with her loved ones.
It can create a drastic change in any women and impact not only her physical state, but can also cause severe mental damage as well. According to a recent report, rape survivors are 13-times more likely to kill themselves than victims of any other physical or criminal assault. A rape survivor might start self-doubting herself and her sense of dignity might get damaged. One should not force the process and heal with time, without getting affected by anything else.
Suggested read: A marital rape survivor’s diary
8. You can do something about it
Though, a victim can’t really do anything to stop the act, but you can make your presence count in your own way. In order to make sure that something like this never happens to you again, you can start taking precautionary measures or train yourself with some basic self-defense practices. One can never blame the victim for such a horrifying act of violence, but with the rapid increase in the number of date rapes, it is always recommended to keep your guard on.
Always look out for other women. Never be hesitant to help your friends and raise your voice against this sensitive issue. There are a lot of myths about date rape that already exists in our society. Start by teaching others what it really means and how one can put an end to it. Raise your kids in the most sincere way and teach them the difference between right and wrong. Make sure that our future generation would never lead into anything like this. There are thousands of girls out there who are being a victim and have nowhere else to go. Be their voice and make an effort in order to create a difference in their lives. You can save a lot of girls out there. If you are lucky, you might end up saving yourself.
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